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Keep WLS a secret from family and friends...



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I'm a very private person about every aspect of my life, and this is no different! My sister and I are doing this together, and the only people we're telling are my husband and our mom. We have a VERY large "southern" family where everyone is always in everyone else's business, so we expect the curious looks and the whispers. Nonetheless, we don't care one bit! We are excited about this new phase in our lives!

I'm really happy for you and your sister!! will be great to have each other to lean on. when is your surgery?? x

To date my decision to give myself this special gift is still PRIVATE and will remain so. My decision not to share was the best decision for me. Do what you believe is best for you.

Have u had surgery?

xx

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Originally I planned on telling no one but once I scheduled my EGD and needed someone to drive me home I had to break down and tell my boyfriend. He is extremely supportive in anything I do but he doesn't think I need to do something this drastic (those are his words). We have been dating for only a year and a half but were best friends for 20 years prior to dating...so he knows first hand my struggle with my weight.

I am a daddy's girl and extremely close to my dad but have not told him. He retired a few years ago and was all set to travel the world when all of a sudden I was hit with a divorce. My dad refused to leave while my world was upside down and put his travels on hold for me. He left earlier this year to finally start his travels and I know if I tell him he will want to rush home and take care of me. So for now I am not telling him.

My co-workers know I am having a hernia repair and that is it. My plan is to not tell anyone but my boyfriend and dad. However knowing me the first time anyone asks I will spill the Beans...I am not good at lying. Ironically my own sister had gastric bypass 15 years ago and I don't even feel comfortable telling her!

Sounds like u have an amazing bond with your dad. he probably will be initially upset that you didn't tell him, but will be so happy for your weight loss. Your boyfriend sounds like a sweetie too! goodluck! keep us updated x x

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I'm really happy for you and your sister!! will be great to have each other to lean on. when is your surgery?? x

My surgery is scheduled for July 14. We are really excited too! Good luck on your journey!

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My surgery is scheduled for July 14. We are really excited too! Good luck on your journey!

I'll have mine on the 13th of July! Good luck!

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I'm just starting the process but I'm only telling a select few. So far I've told 2 friends (one who had WLS recently) and my cousin. I just needed to share it with SOMEONE. Eventually I'll tell my mom but I would rather not worry her considering I'm only on month 1 of my 6 month diet for my insurance. People are still very judgmental about WLS so I really don't plan on telling anyone else. That's why sites like this are great. Even if I don't have much support at home I can at least get it here.

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I told only my husband and kids. Having been on multiple diets ( that people knew I was doing) and failing soo many times didn't want any gossip. I am 9 weeks out and have had multiple get togethers, said i was doing low carb ( which is true) and cutting portion sizes. In large groups, the eating is not soo noticeable. People have noticed the 40 lb wt loss and attribute it to my "new " diet. My friend threw my husband and I a surprise 25th anniversary party and told everyone to bring low fat, high Protein dishes! What a surprise when they see that this time it will be for good. So do what is comfortable to you. And how much support u need from others. My husband and kids are super supportive and that's all I need. Good luck!

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I hope to be sleeved soon. I told my husband, siblings, and my mom. No one else. No friends. No co-workers. I wish I had not told my mom because she runs her mouth without realizing it. Ugh! I'm private like that.

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I just got my date for August 28th and i already told my immediate family but i dont know if i will tell anyone else cause my family is very judgmental and I dont need anyone else's opinions

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I understand what you're saying but I always do things totally the opposite. When I am going to do anything that people are going to want to talk about I talk about it LOUD AND PROUD. It takes the wind right out of their sails. I steal THEIR thunder.

Examples:

1.Years ago I got pregnant before I was married and that was way before it was accepted, so one day at a function someone was digging at me trying to ask without asking and I announced it to the room. Joked about it and they had nothing to gossip about anymore.

2. I got a divorce after 28 years and I knew they would go nuts at work wondering WHY??? So one day I went into work and called a front office meeting of all my co-workers. I said...I just wanted to let you guys know that my husband and I are getting a divorce. Its a final decision, he's not cheating, I am not cheating, we just aren't happy. I don't want to talk about it but when I am ready you will know. Wow were they deflated.

3.About the surgery, I started talking about it and I am not secretive at all. Most support me, my family supports me and those are the important people. Its about your life and your happiness. Live it!

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@@Jay05 Yes, July 2014.

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Hi everyone. I have just been put on the WL for sleeve surgery and should have the surgery within 3/4 months. I am really scared as I haven't told anyone I'm doing it. I feel like everyone will judge me and I will find myself in the center of gossip (I come from a turkish heritage and gossiping is famous). I know I shouldn't care what people think but I feel like a failure for not being able to lose weight myself. Is there anyone that kept their surgery a secret?? Thanks in advance x

My family is Haitian - I only told my immediate family, but I have not told them the location (Mexico). Obesity is unheard of among Haitians -I'm the only obese one in my extremely large family- and to be an unmarried woman going to another country for something like this is unheard of. I lost over 100 pounds years ago through diet and exercise, and the family gossip was that I lost it through pills, which caused all my health problems. It's all lies, but to this day, they still believe it. I just feel it's pointless to add more fuel to the fire, so I'm not telling.

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Hi everyone. I have just been put on the WL for sleeve surgery and should have the surgery within 3/4 months. I am really scared as I haven't told anyone I'm doing it. I feel like everyone will judge me and I will find myself in the center of gossip (I come from a turkish heritage and gossiping is famous). I know I shouldn't care what people think but I feel like a failure for not being able to lose weight myself. Is there anyone that kept their surgery a secret?? Thanks in advance x

My family is Haitian - I only told my immediate family, but I have not told them the location (Mexico). Obesity is unheard of among Haitians -I'm the only obese one in my extremely large family- and to be an unmarried woman going to another country for something like this is unheard of. I lost over 100 pounds years ago through diet and exercise, and the family gossip was that I lost it through pills, which caused all my health problems. It's all lies, but to this day, they still believe it. I just feel it's pointless to add more fuel to the fire, so I'm not telling.

will u tell your closest?? you will need some support. how far are you in your journey??

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I told only my husband and kids. Having been on multiple diets ( that people knew I was doing) and failing soo many times didn't want any gossip. I am 9 weeks out and have had multiple get togethers, said i was doing low carb ( which is true) and cutting portion sizes. In large groups, the eating is not soo noticeable. People have noticed the 40 lb wt loss and attribute it to my "new " diet. My friend threw my husband and I a surprise 25th anniversary party and told everyone to bring low fat, high Protein dishes! What a surprise when they see that this time it will be for good. So do what is comfortable to you. And how much support u need from others. My husband and kids are super supportive and that's all I need. Good luck!

This is the direction I hope to take.. just tell everyone the key notes and leave out the WLS info. I'm hoping to start my own diet asap, however I'm really struggling to find motivation at the moment!

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I understand what you're saying but I always do things totally the opposite. When I am going to do anything that people are going to want to talk about I talk about it LOUD AND PROUD. It takes the wind right out of their sails. I steal THEIR thunder.

Examples:

1.Years ago I got pregnant before I was married and that was way before it was accepted, so one day at a function someone was digging at me trying to ask without asking and I announced it to the room. Joked about it and they had nothing to gossip about anymore.

2. I got a divorce after 28 years and I knew they would go nuts at work wondering WHY??? So one day I went into work and called a front office meeting of all my co-workers. I said...I just wanted to let you guys know that my husband and I are getting a divorce. Its a final decision, he's not cheating, I am not cheating, we just aren't happy. I don't want to talk about it but when I am ready you will know. Wow were they deflated.

3.About the surgery, I started talking about it and I am not secretive at all. Most support me, my family supports me and those are the important people. Its about your life and your happiness. Live it!

That's such an amazing attitude to have I'm even a tad jealous!! :-) well done for being so outright and out spoken. The problem I have is always listening to the parents, I've been taught to stay quiet in what feels like every important stage of my life. Take what's thrown at you and deal with it. However I have started to fight back and stand up for myself altho I always second guess myself and regret my choice afterwards. It's a difficult situation as I am generally a very bubbly fun loving character. you would never believe the amount of insecurities lie beneath the surface!!

For some silly reason I care what people think about me and I hate to be the center of people's conversations. But I know your right and dealing with it face on is usually the best way forward. Not sure if I could ever achieve it though :-/

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I just got my date for August 28th and i already told my immediate family but i dont know if i will tell anyone else cause my family is very judgmental and I dont need anyone else's opinions

I can't wait to get a date. This in the UK work slightly different, I've been on this journey for over a year!! only now been put on waiting list. only 3/4 months to go!! x

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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