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Losing Weight Before Surgery - It's Messing with My Head. Does anyone else feel like this?



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My insurance and doctor haven't asked me to lose weight. I've been doing that on my own since January and am down 30 lbs. I have about 3 months until surgery and I plan on doing what I'm doing now so I'll actually lose more weight. My surgeon was fine with this. He said do what you're doing. Make habits. OK great!

But losing weight on my own is totally messing with my head. I know I need this surgery. I have lost this same 30 lbs I don't know how many times and have 90 to go. I don't lie to myself about needing surgery, but I don't always like it. I feel like I'm mourning that I couldn't do this on my own. It's not the food I feel bad about. I'm mourning losing this life where I don't have to sip all day, where I won't throw up foam, or worry about Hair loss. I know what I'm going to get on the other end is a great chance at a wonderful, healthy life. It's just the pounds I'm dropping right now sometimes make me think why can't this time be different? Because it's not. Period.

Is this weird that I feel like this? Or is this a normal phase of the process? When I get like this I try to remember the benefits of surgery and that it gives me the best chance I will ever have at managing my obesity.

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I could have written this and I have not even started the pre op phase of food charting and the weight loss I know will follow. So I have no insight to offer you but I know EXACTLY what you are saying.

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I had the same thoughts but wanted off the yoyo diet train I had been on since I was about 15. sleeved six weeks today. no regrets.

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Same story here. I've lost 20 lb getting ready for surgery, and question whether I could continue on my own. Yet I am battling every day (especially during the liquid phase) just to stay on track. And I feel badly that I require drastic measures to regain my health.

That being said, I need the sleeve as a tool to "get the job done" to lose weight and maintain the loss.

It is nice to have a forum where folks at exploring the same issues. Sometimes I feel like a real head case!

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I have lost 35lbs since January and I understand exactly what you mean. There is a little voice that says see you're doing it on your own, why do you need the surgery?

My answer is I have been losing and gaining my whole life so it is very apparent I cannot do it on my own and keep it off!

At this point I am totally committed and I am ready to go 06/24!

Good luck, we can do this! :)

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I know I can lose the weight or at least a good chunk of it. I've done it more times than I can count and I'm only 40. That's not my problem. My problem is keeping it off for longer than 6-9 months. I completely understand your feelings though because I'm having those conversations in my head and I'm 5-1/2 weeks away from my surgery. I try to tell myself that I've had to see a weight management doctor and dietician for the past 6 months (prior to surgery due to my insurance requirements). I've lost 35 pounds through my diet, quitting pop (soda) and walking 4-7 miles/6 days per week, but I can't say without that accountability and the support I've experienced from my support group that I would have been successful on my own. And long term with a diagnosis of borderline diabetes I know I need more help than I can give myself. This surgery will allow me to live the life that I want for myself, the life that my kids deserve from their mom and the life I want as a wife for my husband. I have found peace knowing and asking for help. I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

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are you me?? lol :)

My surgeon told me that most of his patients make an appointment with a surgeon (often 4-8 weeks wait to get in over here) and a few weeks later cancel as they have one last crack at loosing weight most people lose a fair bit 20+lbs then put it all back on quickly and then make the commitment to surgery. And yup I was one of them!

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I did start with a different WLS last year and just did custom track to lose weight, work with a physiologist and nut (so non-surgery - wasn't ready to commit). Like my last ditch effort. Lost 30 lbs. Yes - this same 30 lbs. Derailed and gained it all back. That's how I knew I was finally ready to admit defeat over my own body and as sad as I was feeling like I'd failed, it's the most hopeful decision I've ever made. A lifetime of taking it off and putting it back on. Like I said, I know I need this surgery. There will be no backing out. It helps to know other people feel like me.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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