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I'm doubting if I want the surgery...



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@@RNsleever715 I totally agree. In my program we were given the option of three different surgeons from the center of excellence my insurance contracts with. After completing the requirement program we could either take the first available appointment with any one of them, or request the next available date with a specific surgeon.

All of them are highly qualified and experienced, having done thousands of successful procedures. Yet I kept hearing and reading a slew of testimonies that one in particular was considered the best. But without fail, after saying he was the best, there would be an additional comment concerning his lack of personality and dismal bedside manner. Yet not one of them regretted having had him perform their operation, and even went on to recommend him highly.

Having lost a parent myself due to surgical complications, specifically an internal stitch coming loose that allowed deadly infection in that quickly spread throughout his entire body, I definitely wanted only the best to do mine. Especially after learning he was the only one of the three that used drains. Not that I'm looking forward to having drains, but if something's leaking post op, I'd rather it be on the outside rather than inside.

I had my consult with him last week and I can say that he definitely lived up to every bit of his intimidating reputation. But yet I feel absolutely one hundred percent confident that I will be in the best hands possible. A lot of my peers in the same program chose the first available surgeon, based solely on the concept of getting their surgery ASAP. But for me, I can wait a little longer because I'm not looking for a buddy, I'm shopping for a professional; one who will literally hold my life in their hands.

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I only met my surgeon once before the day of surgery, and it was early in the process. I thought he was a bit of a cold fish and very intimidating, but I also believe that his beside manner is beside the point. I was unconscious for the most important part of our relationship. He just needs to be good at cutting me; the rest of the team can look after my emotional well-being. So I stuck with him because he's the head of the program (which is a Center of Excellence and all that) and is in his third decade as a bariatric surgeon who's done this literally hundreds (thousands?) of times. I'm really glad I did, as I have warmed to him considerably since the day of surgery and through the aftercare. Also, the nutritionist, nurse practitioners, aides, and support coordinator are all stellar and I have felt very comfortable with them all along.

Having said all that, you should definitely challenge the team on the choice of surgery between sleeve and bypass. If your reflux is as bad as it sounds, sleeve is most likely the wrong choice and it's not too late to change course if that's the right thing for you long-term.

Good luck!

Edited by anaxila

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I know exactly how you feel....

first off, i think you need more opinions...i think you need bypass and not sleeve

i have my date but very scared, other than my weight, i am in really good shape inside! am i gonna be skinny and unhealthy? instead of fat and healthy???

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I wanted the sleeve and had my mind set on that until I had the reflux test and it was so bad the surgeon told me the sleeve was a big NO! I cried in front of him and he asked why I did not want RNY. I couldn't give him a good answer at all. I think in my mind that the RNY was such a huge surgery, but he told me he would give me a week to think about it and that if I was his family, he would highly recommend it. Needless to say, I went with RNY 10 months ago. I never had 1 problem at all. I'm so glad I went this way as I know 4 people with the sleeve and they struggle bad with reflux and their weight loss. In 10 months I lost 125lbs. I work out hard cardio daily and feel the best I have ever been. I am 30 lbs away from my goal weight. I eat so healthy daily too. It's work. I have been on 2 heartburn meds daily at my surgeons request for a full year, but do not have reflux ever. They will be taking me off of them cold turkey in 2 months????????. I was in your same boat, but it all worked out. Good luck

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Just what I have gone thru on my short journey. I have had acid reflux for years. I wanted the sleeve and only the sleeve. The surgeon recommended the sleeve hands down. Never mentioned any issues with reflux. Only that it can be due to eating too fast and not allowing for to go into stomach before more food met it. I was on some acid meds different than ones I was on prior to surgery. I haven't taken it for weeks and haven't yet had any acid reflux. Just be comfortable with your surgeon and the office. Know about each option, as one is better for some and not others. Good luck!

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Like others here, I had initially been dead set on the sleeve, but during the pre-op tests I discovered I had severe acid reflux and Barrett's, so RNY became my only option. It took awhile for me to wrap my head around this new surgery (since I had initially been against it), but now I am completely for it. So, my first suggestion would be for you to switch from sleeve to RNY. But, really you should research as much as you can about RNY, about gerd vs sleeve, and about Barrett's, about esophageal cancer, so you can get a much deeper understanding as to why the sleeve is so bad for someone with acid reflux, and why the bypass helps it so well.

Second, while I can understand there may be very competent surgeons with terrible bedside manners, I would suggest you at least check out other surgeon/weight loss surgery team options in your area. A consultation doesn't cost you anything, and it's very important, when going through a decision and lifestyle changes as large as this, to be 100% comfortable with the people involved with your process. And, if possible, try to have another sit-down with the bypass surgeon - maybe he/she was just having an off-day and another meeting would set you at ease.

It's a big decision - just make sure you're doing your due diligence in terms of researching it all - the surgery types, the surgeons in your area, the hospitals, the post-op support programs - everything.

Good luck - we're here for you! :)

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Maybe (having reflux after rny isn't common,but it does happen to some people ). I'd let your surgeon's office know, though. I started having reflux issues a few weeks out, and it turned out to be a stricture.

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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