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Who, if anyone, did you tell?



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Hi all!

I'm considering surgery and will attend my first informational session on 6/15. I'm glad to have found this forum and have gotten alot from reading your successes and struggles.

Here's my question: Who did you tell about your surgery? If I opt to move forward with the surgery, I don't want to tell coworkers. I'm relatively new at this job and don't feel a real sense of connection with my thin coworkers. I guess what I'm asking is if it's possible to take a week or two of vacation, come back and resume normal work life without having to disclose. I understand that some will draw conclusions from a noticeable weight loss, but am curious to hear the experience of others.

Thanks in advance!

BB

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I've told my coworkers that I'm friendly with - ones that I go out to lunch with/post work drinks with.

I've told my husband, parents, sister, closest girlfriends...

I think that is about all. I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep it off social media, unless my MIL spills the Beans, which most likely she will do once she finds out. I've asked my husband not to tell them yet.

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I pretty much told everyone, even strangers walking down the street. But I am different. This decision is yours to own. Most people that I met were either 1) supportive, or 2) curious.

It may be a little hard for you to hide your decision from everyone. I would recommend that you inform your supervisor.

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I chose to share my surgery news with my boss because of the time for appointments I had to be out of the office. I also wanted to use Short Term Disability for my time off work and not my vacation time. I'll be out two weeks and perhaps working half days at home on the third week depending on how I feel. My boss has been amazingly supportive.

My husband and parents know. A handful of friends know. I'm keeping it pretty quiet. Mostly because I don't care to hear everyone's take of it - it's my journey and mine alone. However I don't think it takes a genius to figure out what happened a few months down the line.

I'm still on the fence of telling my kids. I'm thinking I'll tell them AFTER the surgery is over - I'd hate for them to worry unnecessarily.

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I told my daughter, best friend and current co-workers immediately, I'm a self discloser about just about everything. I wasn't going to tell other family members but as I got closer to approval I decided to tell my sisters. my family and best friend live 1000 miles away. I asked them not to tell anyone else. When I had complications in the hospital I reached out to my work family back home for prayers and support. I had been afraid of unwanted advice and scrutiny from all of the people I hesitated to tell and have gotten nothing but support. Telling them all was the right choice for me. I wonder how many of us don't tell people out of fear of judgement only to learn we judge ourselves more than anyone else ever could?

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HI!

Noone, I just didn't feel comfortable disclosing and feel it is a personal decision and my business. My family and medical team know that's it. The only exception for me would be if a random morbidly obese person were to inquire I would definitely give up the details. I feel they are entitled.

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I started with close family and friends, as surgery draws nearer (3 days!) I've told just about everyone. I've been at my job 17 years, so I know people there very well. I'm surprised how many people asked questions, like they were curious about it for themselves or others. I probably won't announce it on Facebook lol but if anyone asks, I'll tell them. I feel like I've learned so much in the last year leading up to this that I have a duty to share knowledge and help end the stigma people feel about WLS. I wouldn't worry about sharing a heart bypass, so why not gastric bypass, especially if it prevents or delays heart disease.

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I have told my very very close friends (handful) and my close family (I have a very very small family mom, dad, sister). Depends on who you are really.

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I told only two people at work...one of them couldn't keep her mouth shut as well as I thought she could :( As far as I know, only four people at work know. Of course, my husband knows and my 3 kids (ages 17-26). I opted to not tell my mother as she has Alzheimer's and she freaks out of I even have a head cold as there is no one else in her life. She feels her security in life is threatened if I am not 100%. I chose to not tell any other family, close or extended. This is very personal to me.

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Lol!!! I have to laugh...so I didn't tell anyone but my husband and my sister. My other friends and coworkers...I just said I'm having surgery. ...well guess what I receive post op day 5....A DOZEN chocolate ASSORTED COVERED STRAWBERRIES from Sherri's Berries! !!! Lol. ..they looked amazing. .but I didnt give in...I haven't had sweets in over 2 months...and they aren't on my nut plan....so...my husband is having the time of his life. Am I wrong bcuz I took one berries out took a pic for IG and told her they were amazing? But then her response was she was going to bring wine and our favorite chicken salad over???? Oh lawwd.....I thought it was going to be good not to tell people. ..:(

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I told my mom, younger siblings, and my aunt's family (mostly because I wanted her to consider surgery as well) along with a few of my lifelong friends who live states away and my boyfriend. I'm unemployed so I didn't have to worry about coworkers but I have had some issues with my boyfriend telling his family who live far away. I didn't want them to know right away because I didn't want to be judged or have to worry about their opinions about me getting it while unemployed and all that. Plus no one should have to worry about telling someone close to them and then spreading your information. It's like if he had herpes, I wouldn't take it upon myself to tell my family and all that lmao just my opinion.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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