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Are you keeping your surgery a secret from family and friends?



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Who are you telling about your WLS? My sister and I are doing this together; we are very close, and VERY private. We are only telling our mom, and my husband. We anticipate there will be lots of speculation, and lots of whispers. However, we have no intention of telling anyone!

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I am so happy to hear that you are keeping this quiet. I have told my husband and my close friend (who went through the same surgery a year and a-half ago). I just do not want to hear the negative comments or the "...she is taking the easy way out." I guess after everything is done and they start asking I may tell them or I may just let them think whatever they want.

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I have told my family, friends and colleagues. I am proud of my decision to have bypass everyone has been very supportive. Also, I work in medical coding so everyone is very familiar with the procedure. Regardless of whom you decide to tell, it is a personal decision and I hope that everyone has at least 1 supportive person in their life to help them on their journey.

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So far I've told my husband, my parents, my mother-in-law, one of my staff, and my therapist. My two other staff people and my boss know I'm having surgery, but not what it's for. I'm still not sure whether I will tell them. I plan to tell some of our close friends, as we'll be at a shore house over the 4th of July weekend with them, and I'll still be on soft foods then.

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My family and close friends know. It is not a secret, but I am not broadcasting it. If someone I don't know well ask, I say "it's alot of self discipline". And it is!

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My husband and mom knows but one else does... I want my family to be shocked since they aren't very supportive of anything....

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My husband, my in laws, my aunt and y 2 bff's. Everyone at work just knows I had some g.i.issues that needed to be resolved. As far as my parents and siblings, no one even knows I had been considering this. My family would just continue to mock and bully me and as far as my boss and co workers, I a legally protected and it is none of their business. My doctor just put down general surgery for my reason for LOA paperwork.

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I told no one before surgery, but about a week later I told my three best friends. It has now been about 20 months since surgery and to this day only those three people know. People like to judge and I just didn't want to hear about how I didn't really lose weight and how I cheated if I ever made it to goal. I am now maintaining below goal and if I could go back I probably would have told no one, although my three besties have never made me regret telling them. There are SO many comments about how I lost weight...apparently I am either bulimic, anorexic, or a variety of other things, so I'm glad we don't have to add the fact that I had my stomach cut out on top of everything else. I'm a very private person and I see nothing wrong with those who share the procedure with others or those who choose to keep it totally to themselves.

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I am an international student here, I am planning to tell my brother only just in case something goes wrong. Almost everyone I know disapprove of the surgery.

I suffered a lot with my weight, surgery is kinda my last resort, so I don't think it is the easy way out.

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I haven't "kept it a secret". That's such a negative connotation. I have, however, chosen not to share my surgery with the world at large. No reason, too. I don't share details about my sex life, my income, disagreements with my husband, etc. Those aren't secrets either. It's simply personal information no one else needs to know about.

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I have told the 4 friends I go to lunch with... plus my boss. I didn't want to really tell her but I have a very busy job and didn't want to have it done when it would affect the team. Everyone has been supportive even reading up about it so they have a clearer idea of how they can support me which is an amazing thing for them to do. They were all supportive when I lost 85lbs in 2013 and didn't judge when I put it all back on.

I'm not telling anyone else. Kids won't be told nor extended family.

Hubby is supporting me. I'm very lucky.

Kate

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Only mu husband, my boss who is one of my best friends and another friend know. I just chose not to share because of the same type comments. My family, mainly my stepmother have made comments to me for years. Can't wait to be thinner than her, now thats some motivation! I only see her once a year due to distance so she hopefully will be shocked. lmao

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I totally respect everyone's choice, whether to tell or not is personal business. For me, I tell just about everyone. I'm so proud of my choice and accomplishment so far that I want to talk about it if it comes up. I also figure if someone else can benefit from knowing about my successes so far and it helps them in some way, I'll feel good about that. No one has been cruel to me or made insensitive comments (at least to my face) and I sincerely don't care if someone thinks I took "the easy way out". We all know that that is NOT true. Those people who would say that are ignorant of the facts. No more negativity for me. I'm embracing the positive!

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I chose initially not to even tell my wife, I was afraid of having to be told I couldn't have it, as soon as I met all the criteria I spoke to her, she has been my greatest advocate, ironically age is very opposite in every way from me, she is vey healthy and active, in fact I roll several days off before surgery, and I am at home watching my kiddos because she is in Houston walking the stage for her Bachelors, working on her Masters at this time, and in less than 15 months her PhD, she haggled my surgery price and took care of my insurance, then little by little I began telling my closest friends, my family has passed, so I have no one else to tell, everyone is very proud of me, but as for me my reasons for doing it are very personal, like most others I want to be here for my wire and kids, but when I was younger we had to struggle, now that we are beginning to do better I wanna focus on the things I loved, and those I've always wanted to do, camping, hiking, and on bucket list is kayaking, when I am post surgery I want everyone I can tell to know, I want others to know they have this opportunity, and I want to advocate

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Pre surgery I didn't think I would tell folks outside of close friends and family after my surgery that I had had it. I don't broadcast to the world. But I have told new coworkers when they notice when we go to lunch a few bites and I am full. Everyone has been very positive once they found out and generally just have questions on how it works or what I can eat etc. I have even come across other folks in conversations who mentioned they had the surgery as well even before knowing I did. So others are open and proud of it. It's definitely not the easy way out. We have to sacrifice so much of what others can eat for the rest of our lives and from my example of all the complications and hospital stays was no way an easy road. Just own it and be proud u were committed to getting healthier by any means.

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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