Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Fear of Being Thin...



Recommended Posts

I'm not afraid of being thin, becuase I WAS thin once and know what it feels like. Matter of fact, I have a hard time accepting that I am as big as I am. It doesn't register until I see a photo of myself. The thing I'm afraid of at age 48, is that it's been since age 31 that I was a normal weight. I have it in my mind in some warped way, that I'll be 31 again if I lose weight. I know that sounds totally stupid. I'm afraid of aging dramatically. (Whew, what vanity does to the mind...) I had a girlfriend in her late 30's who lost about 70 pounds very quickly. Her face sagged and was so wrinkled that she looked like she was 60 years old. It was horrible. She couldn't deal with it, and gained most of her weight back to fill her cheeks out again. She would rather be fat and youthful than thin and old looking. It was wierd. I was close to her at the time, and this really had an effect on me. So I'm scared of that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't really feel afraid to be thin. I have lost weight in past and then just gained it back again +. But I loved how I felt. I loved people telling me I looked good. The freedom to move etc. was amazing. To feel light on your feet. The confidence. My fear is gaining it back again. That is what terrifys me. I was in a plane to day and one of the last to get on, it was packed. I was sitting in the first row. The lady at the window seat was very large, she took up her seat and half of mine. Everyone was looking at me to see how I would react. That lady was also a bit nervous as well. Well I am not thin and my rear needs every inch of that seat but I just smiled at her and squeezed it. (it must have been quite a site!) I am not afraid to be thin. I don't want to wait until I can't fit into an airplane seat. I wish I had been thinner so we both could have fit.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I completely understand what you're saying. I was assaulted when I was younger and I don't like attention from men. Yet I do, in a way. It's weird.

Being fat is easier in some ways. I can be obvious (the fat jolly girl) or I can be invisible (the fat girl no one sees as she's surrounded by beautiful ones). Now it's not easy being fat, but it's not easy being thin either. Emotionally. It's easier to go on rides, sit on planes, buy clothes - no question.

You'll come to terms with it and be okay. Maybe you won't be comfortable in a size 6 but you will be in a 14. That's okay. Every little bit of weight loss makes you healthier so a 14 is better than where you are today.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Boy, that was deep, Tommy O! Are you a couselor, too. I noticed that there are a lot of counselors on this thread. I am one, too. Very interesting...

Anyway, my issue is a bit different. I was thin until college. My Freshman 15 turned into Freshman 75. I still think of myself as thin. I know I am not when I look in the mirror, but in my mind, I weigh 135 pounds. I am looking forward to an approval by my insurance company to be banded. I can't wait to be thin again. AND HEALTHY!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmm, I cant say I'm afraid of being thin, but I'm almost ready to get going again, its not as cut and dried as it may seem.

i've gotten to normal weight. Its at the top of my healthy weight range, a weight I've held for long periods of time in my adult life. I really and truly HAVE needed the six months or so I've spent at this weight to get my head around it in a lot of ways. I've never known myself thinner than this, so its hard to imagine getting there. But I do feel after a while I am ready to try.

So my advice would be just take your time. Get used to each stage along the way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Deanna,

Thank you for starting this thread. And I can say, without a doubt, YES! I'm afraid to be thin. I'm more afraid of being fat, which is why I self-paid the band, but the fear of thin is there. I am not at my "sweet spot," so I can go up a pound or two in a day, even with regular exercise. I've noticed that I can get down to 180, my lowest-ever adult weight, but I won't allow myself to go lower than that. For some reason, there's stress associated with being at a lower weight, and I'm still a stress eater, so... For some unfathomable reason, I'm afraid to let all the fat go. With Phen-Fen, Weight Watchers, and Opti-Fast, I never got below 180. I'm not sure what it's going to take to crack the 180 barrier. Odd.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In some ways I am afraid of losing weight... I am outgoing and social, enjoying making people smile or laugh. Sometimes I think about how will I respond to other people who pay me more attention. You know when you are fat, people either ignore you like you don't exist or they stare at you like you've done something seriously wrong (oh, you MUST be pigging out all the time to be that heavy!). I do want to get out there and do more things eventually that my body limited me from and that list is endless. Inside I feel I'm a strong person, and generally I don't care what other people think - but I am only human!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I honestly think that overeating is just like a drug for me. The difference is that you don't have to have drugs to survive, but you do have to have food. Now imagine that in detox they said, "Okay, now I only want you do smoke just a tiny little bit of crack okay, and that will be enough for you." This is just as difficult, if not harder, than getting off drugs!!!

I am considering lap band surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have never been thin in my life and I am terrified!!!! I know it's going to change the way I look at myself and that the way I dress will probably change. It's scary but I think the changes will be good and it will all be ok in the end.

:whoo:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not afraid of being thin. I have never been what is considered thin in my entire life so I dont know what that means (not even as a kid). My fear is the fear of failure. I don't want to fail at this. Losing enough weight to drop clothing sizes and see a real difference in my face is new to me and that is scary but I want it to continue. I am just getting to the point where I have given some of my old clothes away to a cousin. I was holding on to them just in case I needed them- again. I want to lose weight and be healthier for me. I've tried so many times. Added to that is the stress of knowing that alot of people know I had this surgery (friends, family, co-workers). While those closest to me have been supportive, there are others who are just pretending they are happy and suportive and are waiting for me to start regaining. I want to be an good example to motivate others to lose weight as well as give the haters something to talk about.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was 11 years old I weighed 165 lbs. I was only 11, I hadn't finished growing, so that was a bit overweight, but I wasn't fat. My dad had me on the scale every. single. morning. to weigh me, and sent me off to school with slimfast. So, back then, I FELT fat. I don't know what it's like to FEEL thin, even if I used to be not fat. I didn't feel *fat* in high school. I felt the same as I did in Junior high, but I never truly thought I was *fat*. Just needed to lose some weight. I graduated and still felt the same way until about 3 and half years ago, when I was on yet ANOTHER diet, and finally made myself see what I looked like. I had to have known it somewhere, because every time the doctor took my blood pressure I was afraid I would be told it was high.

Now, I'm afraid of getting where I want to be, and staying there for a while, and then starting to gain again. I'm just not sure how my mind would handle that, lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sallen21, you hit the nail on the head - I've always said that people with other addictions are in better shape for success ONLY because they can give theirs up forever and never need it again or have to come in contact with it (whether it's smoking, drugs. etc.) whereas I feel a food addiction is more challenging because you HAVE to eat to live. We have to tame the demons that drive us to overeat and use it as a way to make us feel good. Me personally, I laugh with my doc when I say that I have NO problem with becoming an exercise junky! ;)

Now that I'm 2 weeks post op, I'm looking forward to my fills because that will remind me of the complications (vomiting, band slippage, severe blockage) will keep me in check. Lap banders have come too far, worked too hard, and paid too much to allow those controllable issues to cause us to fail with this great tool... Most of us have tried every we can think of before having this surgery; it was a last resort for me, so I'm giving it a chance! :clap2:

Banded 6/27 - Dr. Jose Erbella and Dr. Gary Bunch, Bradenton, FL - VG band

weight.png

:cat:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have lost a significant amount of weight-over 100lbs in the past year.....I recently over the 4th of July saw many people who have not seen me since my banding....they all thought I had a shorter hair-do....so much for weightloss!! I did it for me and my health but it does go to show one of my favorite phrases is true.....YOU are not the bride at the wedding!! Noone really focusing on you or what you have done or not done--it is mostly your own image that guides you decisions!! Best of luck to all of you who are on the journey to self improvement!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×