I've always wanted to be thin and toned,and I am so excited about the reality approaching. But the other day, I was thinking about it, and I realized that deep down I am actually terrified of being thin...I'm afraid I won't stand out in a crowd, that I won't have jokes to crack, and that I am going to be judged on how I look... I'm afraid that my relationship with my fiance will change,too...How can somthing so drastic not?

Has anyone else had these fears, or experienced any of these situations??!!

It's funny how the one thing I have wanted for so long is terrifying me now!

I really honestly don't have a clue what you are going through. The only thing I am afraid of is not getting thin FAST enough. I do have to say that since 50 pounds are gone, I am getting more attention from men and that kinda irritates me. I am THE SAME person, maybe I am just more approachable now. Deanna

Hi! I am new here and I am in the beginning stages of being banded BUT I am a counselor so here is what I say. YES YES YES!! Of course that could one the reasons why we stay over weight. I think it is great you are going through it in your head and working through some issues before they bang you on the head. And yes I think that is one of the reasons why i am over weight.

Hi

I Don't fear being thin, I fear i will never be thin. sometimes i feel i don't desevre to be. Or it just won't happen

I know how you feel I went through the same things except without the fiance. But now I am getting alot of attention from guys that I have been friends with for a long time and it irritates me that it took me losing weight for them to even notice me. I am the same person on the inside and I wish they could just realize that

Hi Deanna,

Your blog hit the nail on the head with me. We were just discussing this at lunch today - our fears of being thin. I just started a 6 mo weight loss program that is required to do before my insurance will pay for the lap band. The minute I go on a diet all I can think about is food and I totally blew it yesterday - and I hate myself. I think overweight people have a fear of intimacy. I think if I am thin then people will want to love me and I believe that most overweight people - especially those who have been overweight most of their lives - have real self esteem issues and don't believe they deserve to be loved. So I'm trying to approach this time with the idea that I am completely doing it for my health and to stay alive - nothing more. I still have issues but the most important one is my health!

Good luck to you!

I'm a counselor too, and I just wanted to say that I agree with phillyms. There are so many reasons that we struggle with weight and environment, heridity, and our eating habits are just the tip of it. Emotions play a huge part in this! I do not have a fear of being thin however, I have spent time wondering who I will be if I am not overweight. It is how I define myself in some ways. I do not know what I will do with my time if it is not spent worrying about food/diet/weight/ect. The other thing is self image. If we see ourselves sometimes even bigger than we are, there is a good chance you will continue to do so even after losing weight. There are many psychological issues surrounding this. It is good to start thinking about these things now and seek help with them if they become too much for you. Good luck in your journey.

Hi Deanna,

Your blog hit the nail on the head with me. We were just discussing this at lunch today - our fears of being thin. I just started a 6 mo weight loss program that is required to do before my insurance will pay for the lap band. The minute I go on a diet all I can think about is food and I totally blew it yesterday - and I hate myself. I think overweight people have a fear of intimacy. I think if I am thin then people will want to love me and I believe that most overweight people - especially those who have been overweight most of their lives - have real self esteem issues and don't believe they deserve to be loved. So I'm trying to approach this time with the idea that I am completely doing it for my health and to stay alive - nothing more. I still have issues but the most important one is my health!

Good luck to you!

this really hit home with me - I think that's true for me in many ways. Like you, I'm doing this for my health, so I can wear cuter clothes and I'll ignore the icky love stuff if guys start hitting on me.... at least until I can handle it

to the thread starter- hang in there and its great you are thinking about this! getting our heads where we need them to be is so much of our battle

Thank you for all of the support! You're all amazing and inspirational!

I realized today, as I was pondering this fear some more, that one of the biggest reasons I fear being thin is because I won't have the "too fat" excuse... I've used the fat excuse for not only not attaining my goals, but for never even begining to strive for success... There won't be an excuse anymore. I thought that was somthing to chew on (no pun intended! lol) for the day... :hungry:

I have thought about this a lot. I keep putting a lot of things on my weight, like I don't exercise because of my weight, I can't play with my kids because of my weight, I am not sociable and I don't get out because of my weight, I am not who I really want to be because of my weight, and so much more. But I fear that once I lose my weight and none of this stuff fixes itself, than what is it? It's no longer my weight it will just be me. And than what?

and then you WILL exercise, and then you WILL play with your kids, and then YOU WILL be sociable. I have changed A LOT since 50 pounds are gone...I used to sit in the house and not do a damn thing but worry about being fat. I can't wait to see all the great and glorious things that I am going to be able and WANT to do when all this weight is gone!!! Deanna

I hope you are right areellady!! :thumb:

<p>Hrm its interesting but I know what you mean in a way. Im not afraid of being thin because I feel I will be less interesting I'm afraid of not matching up maybe not looking right or loosing to much hair from weight loss granted I know these are irrational thoughts but there thoughts I have nonetheless. I've spent years using my weight to hide myself since I was young I developed quickly and hated the attention I received from men. I never felt like the boys my age were looking it was older men who would check me out and somehow it really created this sense of wanting to hide that even as an adult I havent really grown out of. </p> <p>Im fortunate to have the support of DH who would do anything for me and loves me regardless of how I am but honestly I will always be timid about being looked at its my flaw. Theres nothing wrong with me I know this. Unlike you I wish being thing meant I would blend in but in truth I know it makes us more noticable either way Im doing this for my health not my wardrobe.</p> <p> </p> <p>Eva</p>

For me, I'm not really afraid of being thin. At least, I don't think so. I can't remember back that far! I've always said I'm afraid if I get thin, of what I'll do to stay that way. I would never want to be back in the situation that brought me to Lap-band in the first place.

But my motivation for having this done was health, not really to be thin. I do have some health related issues that I knew weight loss would help with. Through this website, after much reading, I've come to the conclusion that we just have to do the best we can. I'm sure I'll make mistakes but hopefully I will learn from them.

Best of Luck!

A little test, it may seem odd but try this.

Close your eyes and relax (Make sure you remember these steps because you need to keep your eyes closed as you do this)

Imagine that you are going to take a journey wherever you and your imagination choose.

Lets do a short test flight, imagine that you are going to travle back to yesterday, you will travel on a scooter that is guided by a line that intersects your body.

Imagine this line as it intersects your body allowing you to travel both to the past and to the future.

Now answer this question

Where does this line intersect your body and in what direction does it point, head or flow.

You can use this visualization technique to travel back in time in your mind and re-visit the significant events in your life that impacted your weight gain. You can also travel to the future and see yourself as thin and then travel back and view all of the things that you must do to achieve your target.

By traveling to the future in your imagination you can adjust your subliminal vision of how you think being thin will change your life. If you truly do fear being thin your imagination will take you to a place that is not positive, if you then force yourself to change this vision by imagining a positive scenario and if you continue to do this your subliminal view of being thin can be modified from a more negative to a morte positive view.

I use this technique more as a tool to help me prepare for stressfull work assignments. I visualize the event being completed in a positive way then I travel back to today and record all of the tasks that I needed to complete to bring about that result.

I would never suggest that this will cure or resolve any major internal issues but it can change you attitude about being thin from negative to positive. It is much harder to complete a task if you believe that a negative outcome will result.

Now the $64000.00 question, where does that line intersect your body and in which direction?

I'm not afraid of being thin, becuase I WAS thin once and know what it feels like. Matter of fact, I have a hard time accepting that I am as big as I am. It doesn't register until I see a photo of myself. The thing I'm afraid of at age 48, is that it's been since age 31 that I was a normal weight. I have it in my mind in some warped way, that I'll be 31 again if I lose weight. I know that sounds totally stupid. I'm afraid of aging dramatically. (Whew, what vanity does to the mind...) I had a girlfriend in her late 30's who lost about 70 pounds very quickly. Her face sagged and was so wrinkled that she looked like she was 60 years old. It was horrible. She couldn't deal with it, and gained most of her weight back to fill her cheeks out again. She would rather be fat and youthful than thin and old looking. It was wierd. I was close to her at the time, and this really had an effect on me. So I'm scared of that.