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Afraid of the new me and losing who I am now...



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I see it as more of an internal thing. For me how I feel about myself has always been more important. I have always liked myself and I think that attitude shows. A confident person attracts people. Even though I have lost a significant amount I am still very much in the morbidly obese range. I get attention from guys all the time. However for the most part I've never concerned myself with what people think of me. Especially not random strangers. Sure, I have people that know me complimenting me on my weight loss, but the people who count, those people in my inner circle still treat me like they always have. Other than being able to shop in stores instead of online, I really don't expect things to change significantly for me. I know who I am as a person and I don't foresee that changing because the numbers on the scale are different.

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@@gowalking I would say you were beautiful to begin with and the smile on your face in your 'after' picture not only reflects that same thing but an additional radiance coming from the inside.

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@@gowalking I would say you were beautiful to begin with and the smile on your face in your 'after' picture not only reflects that same thing but an additional radiance coming from the inside.

How sweet of you to say @sharonintx. Thank you.

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So glad someone started this subject. It has been on my mind lately.

I am happily letting my old self retreat. I used my weight to be invisible and to keep people away from me.

I have been in the process of finding myself. learning to forgive myself for many things, love myself again, never taking my health for granted and experience as much as I can because life is short. I have more confidence but it funny the things I'm struggling with right now.

I still find that I am uncomfortable and awkward. I'm learning t how to dress a new body and how to act in social situations. These things are trivial. But I just have to laugh at myself that I'm this old and such a kid inside.It is a strange and wonderful experience to walk in the same shoes as a morbidly obese person to a healthy weight person.

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So glad someone started this subject. It has been on my mind lately.

I am happily letting my old self retreat. I used my weight to be invisible and to keep people away from me.

I have been in the process of finding myself. learning to forgive myself for many things, love myself again, never taking my health for granted and experience as much as I can because life is short. I have more confidence but it funny the things I'm struggling with right now.

I still find that I am uncomfortable and awkward. I'm learning t how to dress a new body and how to act in social situations. These things are trivial. But I just have to laugh at myself that I'm this old and such a kid inside.It is a strange and wonderful experience to walk in the same shoes as a morbidly obese person to a healthy weight person.

Just like me, you are a not even a shadow of your former self...you are completely different from the outside and no matter what others say, this type of transformation has to impact the inner person as well. It has for me...and I can understand how it has for you. I was always the happy fat girl laughing at my size to lessen the impact of the hurtful things that I'd hear..even when not meant to hurt.

I have some very close friends who have told me that I got attention for my size in a very negative way even if I wasn't aware of it. I'm sure I was stared at and I'm sure no one wanted to see me try to sit near them for fear of loss of personal space. I no longer feel that I'm trapped by my size, nor do I take up more space than I should these days. I don't think about my size all the time anymore in terms of will/if I can fit somewhere. How wonderful to feel that I fit in the world now rather than take up too much of it.

I know I've already posted on here but this topic resonates so much with me that I am compelled to write again. This is a journey...a transformation. Both inside and out. Even if we are not aware of it, we are changing everything about our lives whether it's small things or huge life changing things.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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