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Rough couple of days
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So I am having a rough few days.
I was sleeved 3/23 and lost 20 pounds in just over 2 weeks. I had lost 30 pounds prior to surgery. Since then, I have only lost another 5 pounds. I find this very discouraging. I know what I need to do and am doing it. I weigh my portions and log everything. I will be starting the soft foods stage on Monday and a looking forward to having some more options. I have logged every little bite that I have eaten on myfitnesspal. I work out at least 5 times per week. I even did a spin class last week. (I rocked it, by the way.) The weight is just not coming off. I know that stalls are normal, but it is just frustrating and I needed to vent.
In the past, whenever I was upset about my weight, I would eat more. I know that is totally detrimental and part of the reason I needed to have weight loss surgery, but its the truth. I obviously can't do that now, and have been pretty good with my diet. I average 600-700 calories, 75-90g Protein, and less than 30 carbs per day. I don't want to eat, because I know that would make me even more frustrated.
My husband is also overweight. I am going to guess he is right around the 500 pound mark. He sometimes wants to have the surgery. In fact, he is the reason I decided to have it. He signed up for an informational session and I planned to go with him for support. He ended up losing his job (and insurance) so he cancelled, but i still went and ended up getting surgery. Sometimes, he is supportive of me and my weight loss, but other times I think he is jealous. He also fears that I will get skinny and leave him. He does seem to "enjoy" the difference in my body already.
I am on a paid leave from work, so I am still bringing home my regular pay check. He is working 6 days a week, and his check isn't even half of mine. I think he expects me to do all of the housework since I am not working, but I still want/need him to pitch in and help. It makes me so frustrated. It also bothers me that I am the breadwinner (who doesn't get to eat bread) and still have to do most of the work at home. I get sinks full of dishes, but I am not using many dishes, because I am not really eating.
All of the frustration, makes me want to eat things that I know I shouldn't. It also makes me reflect on the past and how on bad days I would buy bad foods and eat them.
I know this is all very confusing and unorganized, but I think I just needed to get it out, so I could feel better. Also...when I am typing, I am not eating or wanting to eat.
For the most part, I have had a very positive outlook on everything, but yesterday and today have just been in the crapper. I am going to blame it on the hormones. Oh well, thanks for letting me get all that off my chest. Cheers to a better tomorrow.