Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I just can't tell them about the surgery



Recommended Posts

I am finally getting my band June 19th and my mom, who lives about 200 miles away, is coming in for the surgery. My stepfather is not making the trip with her. This is only a concern because he is mostly disabled due to a stroke so other people will have to help take care of him while she is gone.

I am not telling anyone in my family that does not need to know, so any ideas on what we can tell them is the reason for her visit? It’s not like my step dad can’t come, but he requires special accommodations that my apartment does not have. They would have to get a handicap hotel room, which my mom does not want to do; she wants to stay at my place while I recover. She will only be here for a couple of days.

Any suggestions??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, I told my family I had to have a hernia repair (which I did have to have it repaird - and they did that the same time they put the band in).

I still haven't told anyone - very few people know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel bad for you not being able to tell you family.

I suppose if you know you will have relatives being negative it would be a reason I would choose not to tell.

Best of luck

edie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not telling my family either. Only my 3 closest friends know about the band. My surgery is on June 15th, a friday, which is also my day off from work. I will call in 'sick' on Saturday, and plan on going to work on Sunday. I need for everything to be smooth and go on with my normal routine, or else questions will be asked about absences and the diet change. As for what I'll tell co-workers about the liquid diet - 'food allergy.' I plan on telling them that I have been having horrible headaches (which I do get, thanks to genetics and stress!) and that the doc thinks it may be a food allergy, and I need to cleanse my system and start back slowly.

Well, I hate lying, so this will only come up if I'm asked... I live alone so family finding out isn't an issue. The hardest part for me is that once a week I meet a friend for dinner... won't be able to do that for a few weeks, and when I can, I won't be able to eat much. She'll notice.

I feel bad for not telling my mom, and I've addressed this issue on another thread. She is a HUGE worry-wart and would make herself sick about it and have me (mentally) burried if she knew I had to undergo anesthesia and get holes cut into me. I might tell her afterwards, but I can't do it yet. She'll try to talk me out of it...she'll want me to use will power, exercise, and Portion Control. She doesn't understand that I've tried that sooo many times in my life. She's never been fat.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just remember.....if you tell them you had your gall bladder out - and then you really have to have it out at a later date - well.....you get the picture. And it is very common to have g.b. problems after wls.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Eh Suzzzie,

I'm being banded on the 15th June as well! what time is yours, I'm at 8am in the morning. I'm telling NO ONE! Only my Hubby knows, I'm not even telling my kids or anyone, well not yet! I'm in a similar position. I've got my sons Grad dinner this Wed, cannot eat as I'm on the pre op, cottage cheese thingy!!!! So I'm going to fake feeling unwell for that one! The best actor award goes to, the fat chick that's dying of stavation in the corner! Then I'm off to Uk to visit family and friends on the Mon after my op, terrible timing I know but, there has been family problems that mean I need to go. I was going to cancel and re book my op but I thought If I don't do it now, I just won't. So I'm in the same position, what the heck do I say to people who are used to see me chop down on almost anything, now seeing me reaching for a green tea.... I'm thinking, I'm going to go with the hiatal hernia, really stupid question now, what is that? Help me out here wasabubble butt, I've read a load of your posts and you really seem to know what your talking about! If you have any other advice, bring it on! Thanks

JX

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The hialtal hernia is perfect I've decided. The area, scars etc are the same. Post surgery you can blame not being able to eat on swelling, pain. I am telling family but I just don't want everyone else constantly looking to see if Ive lost weight and if I'll put it back on again like EVERY time before. I would rather tell everyone but I'm just so beaten down about weight issues after being fat since age 7 (47 now). Anyway here's to hernia surgery!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sure everyone has a good reason why they don't want to share this with anyone but I opted to tell everyone and I am please with the support I have had at home, work, and church. I was so excited and I felt that I needed everyone to know to help reinforce my need for discipline. As for going back to work in two days...good luck with that...I still hurt alot in two days...very similar to my gallbladder surgery. Be careful, you will be very tired with taking in so few calories as your body adjust to the liquid diet.

My stance is there is nothing to be ashamed of...it's not a secret we are overweight...why should it be a secret on how we choose to loose the weight. You might be surprised by how supportive your peers are.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The reason I'm not telling most of my family is they have a tendancy to tell everything. My grandmother starts talking and just spills her guts about everything she knows. This is one of those things I never planned on getting out to everyone, just people that need to know. I want to tell my family, but not the whole community.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish you the best of luck with your recovery. I was banded on Wednesday and today, Sunday is still a bit rough. I know tomorrow will be better. If you don't want to tell anyone about your surgery, definately go with hernia repair. The gall-bladder that I had out six weeks ago was much easier. Best of luck to all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Eh Suzzzie,

I'm being banded on the 15th June as well! what time is yours, I'm at 8am in the morning. I'm telling NO ONE! Only my Hubby knows, I'm not even telling my kids or anyone, well not yet! I'm in a similar position. I've got my sons Grad dinner this Wed, cannot eat as I'm on the pre op, cottage cheese thingy!!!! So I'm going to fake feeling unwell for that one! The best actor award goes to, the fat chick that's dying of stavation in the corner! Then I'm off to Uk to visit family and friends on the Mon after my op, terrible timing I know but, there has been family problems that mean I need to go. I was going to cancel and re book my op but I thought If I don't do it now, I just won't. So I'm in the same position, what the heck do I say to people who are used to see me chop down on almost anything, now seeing me reaching for a green tea.... I'm thinking, I'm going to go with the hiatal hernia, really stupid question now, what is that? Help me out here wasabubble butt, I've read a load of your posts and you really seem to know what your talking about! If you have any other advice, bring it on! Thanks

JX

a hiatal hernia is in your diaphram, which separates your chest from your stomach. when you have a large hiatal hernia, your stomach slides thru the hole into your chest.. depending on the size of the hernia, sometimes it stays in the chest nd needs to be repaired

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Mr.Kantos

      Just signed up. Feeling optimistic.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Frugal

      Welcome to Frugal Testing, where we are committed to revolutionizing the software testing landscape with our efficient and affordable solutions. As a pioneering company in this field, we understand the challenges faced by startups, small to medium-sized businesses and any organization working without budget constraints. Our mission is to deliver top-notch testing services that ensure the highest quality of software, all while keeping your costs in check.
      Frugal Testing offers a comprehensive suite of testing services tailored to meet diverse needs. Specializing in different types of testing including functional testing, automation testing, metaverse testing and D365 testing, we cover all bases to guarantee thorough software quality assurance. Our approach is not just about identifying bugs; it's about ensuring a seamless and superior user experience.
      Innovation is at the heart of what we do. By integrating the latest tools and technologies, many of which are cutting-edge open source solutions, we stay ahead in delivering efficient and effective testing services. This approach allows us to provide exceptional quality testing without the high costs typically associated with advanced testing methodologies.
      Understanding each client's unique needs is fundamental to our service delivery. At Frugal Testing, the focus is on creating customized testing strategies that align with specific business goals and budget requirements. This client-centric approach ensures that every testing solution is not only effective but also fully aligned with the client's objectives.
      Our team is our greatest asset. Composed of skilled professionals who are experts in the latest testing techniques and technologies, they bring dedication, expertise and a commitment to excellence in every project. This expertise ensures that our client’s software not only meets but often exceeds the highest standards of quality and performance.
      Frugal Testing is more than just a service provider; we are a partner in your success. With a blend of quality, innovation and cost-effectiveness, we are here to help you navigate the complexities of software testing, ensuring your product stands out in today's competitive market. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      I have no clue where to upload this, so I'll put it here. This is pre-op vs the morning of my 6 month appointment! In office I weight 232, that's 88 lbs down since my highest weight, 75 lbs since my surgery weight! I can't believe this jacket fit... I am smaller now than the last time I was this size which the surgeon found really amusing. He's happy with where I am in my weight loss and estimates I'll be around 200 lbs by my 1 year anniversary! My lowest weight as an adult is 195, so that's pretty damn exciting to think I'll be near that at a year. Everything from there will be unknown territory!!

      · 3 replies
      1. AmberFL

        You look amazing!!! 😻 you have been killing it!

      2. NickelChip

        Congratulations! You're making excellent progress and looking amazing!

      3. BabySpoons

        So proud of you Cat. Getting into those smaller size clothes is half the fun isn't it?. Keep up the good work!!!!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I changed my profile image to a molecule of protein. Why? Because I am certain that it saved my life.
      · 1 reply
      1. BabySpoons

        That's brilliant! You've done amazing!! I should probably think about changing my profile picture at some point. Mine is the doll from Squid Games. Ironically the whole premise of the show is about dodging death. We've both done that...

    • eclarke

      Two years out. Lost 120 , regained 5 lbs. Recently has a bout of Norovirus, lost 7 pounds in two days. Now my stomach feels like it did right after my surgery. Sore, sensitive to even water.  Anyone out there have a similar experience?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×