When I see a seriously overweight young woman, I have this overwhelming urge...

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I think it's all just a slippery slope to fat shaming. There are so many factors to consider. food Desserts, the effects growing up poor has on your views towards food AND your taste buds.

Listen I was a chubby kid who turned into a fat adult. I also traveled while fat, skied while fat, hiked while fat. I never felt ashamed or embarrassed with who I was. I loved clothes and fashion, still do.

As much as I think wls needs to be de-stigmatized, I also don't think we have the right to feel superior for choosing it.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@gowalking ...

I hope you do start a thread about WLS patients' changing (?) attitudes toward heavy people. I'd love to explore my own attitudes (and hear others' perspectives) about that topic.

[SeahawksFan 444]

I have an overweight teenager and I try so hard to get him to eat right. I also pay $500 a month for him to go to a personal trainer 3x a week. So please don't always blame the parents. My son doesn't care that he's over weight and says he'd rather eat what he wants than diet. And it's not always junk he eats big portions and 4 meals a day. I have another son who is 12 and is actually 50% for weight. He loves to exercise and Snacks throughout the day. I didn't raise them any differently.

~LA

[hillgirly 228]

I was always on the heavier side growing up, but I was quite active. Swim team, softball, basketball, horseback riding (which was my job as well). Thankfully, I'm tall & have always carried the weight quite well.

The key part is I was active. I know when my kids were in HS, phys ed was now optional & some schools have done away with it completely. Even the young kids aren't allowed to "play" during recess, they may get hurt ....then some wonder why so many kids are hyperactive/getting in trouble - eventually they will find a way to burn off some of that energy.

[Elode 8,093]

My daughter has began to eat healthier with me, we cook together ect...but she's not big she's 13 5'6 and 116. I love it but sometimes the things she says about her weight now and what she should eat is borderline wrong. She almost wants to eat JUST like me and she can't do that I have to remind her that the way I eat (amounts) is not healthy for her. She's getting it. I like that nutrition and health is on her mind though!

[Healthy_life2 8,319]

i have compassion concerning people that are obese. I give people that are interested the information. I don't feel the need to save the world when it comes to this issue. I believe they need to get the info and save themselves. I have taken a wheel chair bound 500 pound person to a info seminar. The rest is up to her. I am a big advocate for weight loss surgery.

I believe Michelle Obama is working on the obese issues with our younger generation. Hummm not sure if I'm on board with everything in that program. But its a start.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I think it's all just a slippery slope to fat shaming. There are so many factors to consider. food Desserts, the effects growing up poor has on your views towards food AND your taste buds.

Listen I was a chubby kid who turned into a fat adult. I also traveled while fat, skied while fat, hiked while fat. I climbed the Great Wall of China & the ruins at Xel Ha while fat. I never felt ashamed or embarrassed with who I was. I loved clothes and fashion, still do.

As much as I think wls needs to be de-stigmatized, I also don't think we have the right to feel superior for choosing it.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I remember every single insult and person who felt it was their duty to " help " me with my weight problem. What they did not know is what drove me there besides putting food into my mouth.

People who think that they can save the world by pointing out others obvious flaws according to them is a real turn off. Now by example a person can make a difference.

It is much bigger then you need to have WLS. It is an adjustment that needs to be made from the money making food industry to diet companies to the government that do not promote good eating habits and food choices. It is many who do not have the funds to eat well a lot of folks don't have a clue how to in the first place....

Round and round we go..... Mostly it is a lesson to be learned and it is learned hard.

When I think of all those people who looked at me sideways or laughed at me. Stopped their car in front of my house to stare at the fat girl gardening and so on. I wish I had kicked them right where it hurts..Like it hurt me. While they went away feeling like they had accomplished a good deed by making me cry. They were completely wrong.

Giving advice freely without being asked is a whole lot of bad to deal with. Now if you are asked...Lay it out for them....Otherwise you don't have a clue what makes that person tick and what stage they are at in life. In fact I would say it would be a lot like how that Katie Hopkins of the UK comes across!

This is the hardest addiction to fix. So I personally do not question anyone or judge anyone who struggles with weight as I have been there and done that and will fight the rest of my life this battle of weight gain and loss.......

[Jendroppinglbs 24]

Wow is all I can say. I know I am new to this thread but damn it was not that long ago you were the one who was overweight. How would it have made you feel if some random stranger came up to you and told you all about weight loss surgery. A fat person knows when they are fat they don't need a random stranger coming up to them and handing them a fyler about weight loss surgery. I can tell you if ANYONE came up to me or to my family and did that it would not be a pretty sight. I have been fat my whole life and it took me to the age of 42 to finally decide to do something about it. Do I think that just because I had surgery it gives me a right to preach to overweight people about WLS absolutly not. When I am asked I am very open about my surgery but I would never want to hurt another persons feelings and just approach them and start talking about all the benefits of WLS. Just my opinion.

Edited March 24, 2015 by Jendroppinglbs

[esskay77 785]

@RJ'S/beginning That was my thought, too. And I am so sorry you had to go through any of that. This is why I don't speak up to people about it unless they ask. It is a very sensitive subject and I don't know how I would have felt if someone brought it up to me. Especially someone I didn't know!!! I think I would have cried for days.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

@RJ'S/beginning That was my thought, too. And I am so sorry you had to go through any of that. This is why I don't speak up to people about it unless they ask. It is a very sensitive subject and I don't know how I would have felt if someone brought it up to me. Especially someone I didn't know!!! I think I would have cried for days.

Thank you for your kindness.

When I was visiting my surgeon and was approved for WLS. I met my hubby at the hospital lunch counter. I was drinking Water and this a-hole made such a commotion. He was poking his wife and laughing at me and finally she looked up and our eyes met. She pushed him with her elbow and looked back down at the computer she was working on.

I then turned my attention to him and he kept it up for the time I was sitting there. I did not tell my hubby until after because I knew his type. Unless I had kicked him in the groin he would have become more verbal and ignorant.

Some people never have to face this kind of abuse. For whatever reason...Maybe it is how they present themselves or maybe the abuser knows they would be sucker punched in the throat. Or maybe they are not tuned into other people around them . I wish that had been my story. But it was not to be....So I look at people as a whole and love to be there if they need help or answers or just encouragement. The rest is left to them, family, friends and their doctors.....

[Babbs 14,680]

Let me just say, when I see an overweight or obese person, my thoughts are NOT that I am any better than them. Heck, I'm still overweight! I think people who would love to share their success with WLS just wants them to be as happy and hopefully successful as they have been. I don't see any shaming to it at all.

It's just like with ex-smokers or people in AA. Once the person stops the harmful behavior, they feel they should share it with the world. Some can be downright obnoxious about it, lol. I'm an ex smoker, but I know I'm not going to lecture people on the dangers of smoking. They know it already. So do people who are overweight. That's why I said in an earlier post I may THINK it, but I would NEVER say it unless they were asking. They will only do it when they are ready.

[heynowkc 329]

Honestly I had a lot of people try and help and encourage me to lose weight in the many years leading up to my weight loss surgery. The difference is that I was often very vocal about my on-again/off-again attempts to lose weight. So the people who approached me about it were friends, co-workers/bosses, and family who I trusted and had discussed this with before. Or well.. anyone that knew me. I'm such an open person. If a stranger had approached me about getting healthier (nevermind suggesting WLS) I would have been more embarrassed than anything. But friends and family? That's another story, at least for me. I actually always 100% appreciated their attempts to help me! I know 99% of people would probably be offended. I guess I'm just a different breed.

However, I have only had health insurance as an adult for the last year and a half. If WLS was ever brought up (and I can't remember it ever coming up during my "insurance"-less years) it would have been an impossible suggestion for me at the time.

Edit: While I am only remembering the direct attempts to "help" me, there are subtler ways to be a positive influence -- I liked the idea of giving out your blog address (if you have one). Just "oh hey I have a blog, you should check it out!" Or I don't know, sharing a super yummy and healthy recipe/meal with an acquaintance you know struggles with poor food choices. Inviting someone for a walk or a non-food related event with you. I do think that most grown adults are aware of their options and the difference between healthy eating/living and knowingly putting themselves at risk. Some people just aren't ready.

Edited March 24, 2015 by heynowkc

[Roo101769 742]

I agree it is hard to know the right way to talk to someone who is overweight about their options for a healthier lifestyle. Here is my two cents for what they are worth. ( Yes, I have not fallen off the face of the planet. I have been away from the site for a while because my life has just been BUSY!)

I am trying to be a very vocal and positive advocate of bariatric surgery, and in my case VSG surgery. I believe a huge hurdle people face is the stigma of having WLS. Society as a whole takes the "it's the easy way out" approach. We really need to work hard to counter act that mindset. If we who have gone before keep quiet, then the nay sayers will rule. No. I am NOT ashamed I had weight loss surgery. I tried and I failed to lose weight on my own. Am I ashamed of that? Maybe. Am I alone? HECK NO. The weight crisis in this country has exploded. I remain to this day someone with serious food addictions. But at least I tried to take a stand and have had success with it. I am not ashamed I had the surgery, I am ashamed I waited so long. I wasted so many good years of my life living in an increasingly obese and useless body. I couldn't take the weight off myself once it got to a certain point. But instead of doing something about it, I did nothing. I spent years being one of the "do it by diet and exercise" believers who failed to do it that way. Now that was living with shame. We all say how these surgeries are merely tools, not magic bullets. So why be ashamed we chose this tool instead of say a stick of celery and a tread mill? It is perspective. If WLS is continued to be shamed then people who truly need it will continue to avoid it. We need to break the cycle. I applaud many celebrities who are embracing their choices and being advocates for change. Lisa Lampenelli, Rosie O'Donnel, Graham Elliot to name a few. They are proudly showing that real change comes with real commitment to what you believe in. All of us in the community know a healthy diet and exercise remain a key factor in a healthy lifestyle. It is important we all get that message out there, for those who don't know and need it. Let them know the surgery is ok.That it is a part of an entire life change that is positive and life changing. Obesity doesn't have to be a death sentence to be served for years of misery, you can change it.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Wow is all I can say. I know I am new to this thread but damn it was not that long ago you were the one who was overweight. How would it have made you feel if some random stranger came up to you and told you all about weight loss surgery. A fat person knows when they are fat they don't need a random stranger coming up to them and handing them a fyler about weight loss surgery. I can tell you if ANYONE came up to me or to my family and did that it would not be a pretty sight. I have been fat my whole life and it took me to the age of 42 to finally decide to do something about it. Do I think that just because I had surgery it gives me a right to preach to overweight people about WLS absolutly not. When I am asked I am very open about my surgery but I would never want to hurt another persons feelings and just approach them and start talking about all the benefits of WLS. Just my opinion.

Wait, what? Who are you talking to? Before I address your comments, @@Jendroppinglbs, I want to make sure I understand whether or not you were scolding me.