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Others opinions are none of OUR business!



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So, small rant here... Why do we care what others think of our decision to take control of our health by having WLS? I see post after post here with folks who are afraid to let anyone know, (OMG, what if my <fill in relationship here> with NO medical training doesn't approve)? Someone told me I "cheated" and now my feelings are hurt. You KNOW better than that or you wouldn't have chosen WLS in the first place! For cheating to have occurred, there has to be a winner and a loser and you are in competition with NO ONE in this battle for your health!

I get that our health decisions are no one's business, but that's not what I'm talking about here. Tell who you want, or not, but pull up your big girl panties\big boy britches and owning your decision!. If you HAVE been open and your "friend" de-friends you because you didn't cave to their wishes, they weren't your friend to begin with! If they hate you for getting healthy because you're now "skinnier" than they are... same thing! You deserve better friends! If it's a family member, (that's rough, and shame on them), but see a counselor if the relationship is worth preserving. If their objection is about fear over the risks associated with surgery, drag them to your bariatric surgeon's office and have a medical professional educate them and answer their questions\concerns. You may not change a mind, but it will probably help them be less fearful about the process and show you care enough to have an open dialogue.

End rant

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Humans are social creatures that form relationships. While I agree that you shouldn't let others' opinions influence YOUR decision to have surgery, I think it is perfectly legitimate to be concerned that your friends and family might not support your decision. WLS is a huge life change and, just like you might want your parents to approve of your choice of spouse or where you go to college, you would want them to approve of this decision as well. If they DON'T approve, that doesn't mean you shouldn't go through with it. But it's perfectly natural to want the ones you love to stand behind your major life decisions.

Edited by JamieLogical

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I am selective in who I choose not because I am ashamed but because it is MY journey! I don't want to always be the one who had the WLS I just want to be me. If anyone hears and asked me I'll be open to any questions and I'll respond to any rudeness, but the pple who are closest to me know and that's good enough. If there are days where I feel a little embarrassed that my life ended up at this point, those feelings are also my own and I am entitled to them as we are all. Life is about process and learning and growing and doing our best. This is a rly brave choice we are all making or have made and as it would be ideal if all anyone ever felt was pride, everyone's journey is different and should be respected and supported!

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OMG!!! I love this post. To me having WLS is like giving up a drug. To hell what anybody has to say or think. What's important is that I want to live and if you get in my way, to hell with you!!! For many, worrying about what people think of them is why they eat so much. This is a time to put yourself first and is maybe the first selfish thing you might have done. I say, go ahead and do it!!! Good luck to those who have done it, those in the process of doing it, and to those who will it in the future.

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What matters more than others opinions is our own views of obesity and WLS. Our own beliefs are mirror images of our loved ones beliefs. If we do not take the time to learn about obesity, research the why's of WLS, and take time to explain to loved ones in a comprehensible manner...then we are part of the problem. It's easy to throw away others opinions...it's much harder to look at ourselves and where we fit in to the problem.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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