I failed myself yet again...

[JerseyJules 862]

2 years in between the backing out have made me realize several things.

1) having battled with my weight my whole life and having bad genes, Im never gonna lose the weight on my own.

2) adding 50 to 75 lbs is not that for off in my future as I age and become less active.

This next one took me a while to come to terms with

3) Im fat...No, Obese.. I have been lying to myself for years thinking Im just a big guy. no Im a fat guy...I asked my wife honestly would you say Im carrying some extra weight or would you classify me as FAT...She said FAT.. Coming to terms with the truth sucks.

4) I want to live life longer and better

5) I want to be able to do things in life without being uncomfortable most of the time...

6) Im shaving years off my life being 290+lbs...Have you ever seen a 300lb 80 year old...Nope...Neither have I...

I see my doctor tomorrow and Im telling him "hold my beer and watch this" lets do it!!!!! This time...

[jjsasha 18]

I back out and canceled my 1st appointment for months. Totally normal, your body your decision.

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[woo woo 872]

@@JerseyJules I read your original post at the time and though I felt sad for you, I understood why you did it.

I don't know if this is allowed, but I remember hoping you would find your way back.

Wishing you all the best, you have a great attitude and I'm sure you will be successful whichever procedure you choose.

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[JerseyJules 862]

When I see pictures of my self sitting, It is where it is more obvious that I need this or something in my life..

Edited January 5, 2017 by JerseyJules

[pvechiola 195]

Don't beat yourself up too much. I backed out when I started to make my 1st dr. appointment. It took another month before I realized my life was only going to get worse if I didn't go through with WLS and I just made up my mind to do whatever I had to do to get through WLS.

When making a big decision like this, I ask myself:

1) Do I want to be in this same situation or worse a year from now?

2) Is the pain of staying in this situation worse than the pain of the change I need to make?

So far, answering those 2 questions have given me the clarity I needed to make any major decision.

You're right those two questions definitely means I should do my surgery because staying in this situation is at my worst nightmare and I am sooo tired of trying to look normal again.

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[JerseyJules 862]

Just got back from my doctor appointment and I have to schedule all the pre-op appointments all over again. Going through the check list now and hopefully I can knock them all out by the end of January and be under the knife by mid February.

The funny thing is all of the staff remembered me and knew my story, they said to date Im the only patient that has backed out that far along into the process, literally last minute... The said they will hold me down if they have to this time.. Hahahahahah!!!

[Keke288 9]

All I can say is thank you so much for your original post and the update. My surgery is very soon and everyone's perspectives posted here have been so helpful, particularly Jules. Wishing you best of luck.

[JerseyJules 862]

All I can say is thank you so much for your original post and the update. My surgery is very soon and everyone's perspectives posted here have been so helpful, particularly Jules. Wishing you best of luck.

It took me some deep soul searching to realize I absolutely need this. Do i wish I did it 2 years ago? Yes and no... Yes cause I would be well on my new life journey by now. No because I just wasnt fully ready at the time mentally. I had to know for myself this was my only and last resort. I have tried to drop the weight at least 3 more times since that day and my body just will not let me.. Drastic results require drastic changes, and I now know Im not capable on my own of making those drastic changes.

The turning point was when I went to Great Adventure this fall with my kids and almost could not fit in one of the roller coasters. Another turning point was I was making love to my wife and happened to look at myself in the mirror and saw how big by belly actually is...Im finally at terms with what I NEED to do...When I asked my wife to give me an honest opinion of she would say Im just a big guy with some meat on my bones or if she would say Im a fat guy, she gave me the most honest and brutal answer I have ever heard... She supports me doing it so Im around for my kids in the years to come, and to make a change before I get sick. I want to be around for her, I want want to be healthy for her and my kids.

Im going to go through with it this time and simply gonna tell my doctor "hold my beer and watch this" and git r done!!!

Im tired of being the FAT GUY!!! f**k this ****!!! Im taking control of my life for once in 43 years!

Edited January 6, 2017 by JerseyJules

[JerseyJules 862]

I wanted to bump this topic up to help all those that are considering doing WLS but have doubts and fears and cant come to terms. I just had my procedure done on February 27th 2017 over 2 years later from the start of this thread. Instead of going on a long winded rant, here is my long winded videos that explain my journey that lead my back to this point. If my story can help just one person make this difficult decision then I feel it was worth sharing!!!

[Tufflaw 463]

Welcome to the club! Good luck on your journey

[JerseyJules 862]

Well After backing out over 2 years ago, I sit here almost 6 months post op and am glad I did it..Best decision I have ever made in my life.

The before picture was about 1 year after backing out of surgery the first time after losing 30 lbs and gaining back 40...

[Apple1 2,572]

You look Great!!!

Congrats on your success.

[Mom3boys1971 17]

Looking great how do you feel?

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[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Wow, love the update.

[JerseyJules 862]

1 hour ago, Mom3boys1971 said:

Looking great how do you feel?

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I feel like Im in my 20's all over again!!!!