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Girl with a pretty face.



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Ugh.... I was told tonight...again... that I would be beautiful if I was smaller... by family no doubt!! Do people not realize that I know I'm fat? I do dress and bathe myself. I've seen the jelly rolls in action lol. I hate people putting stipulations on comments.:/ I can not (NOT NOT NOT!!!!!)wait to look on the outside how I do on the inside. I want to ride a roller coaster with my kids and not feel like everyone in the room is staring a hole thru me every bite I take. I am so done with being a chunky monkey????

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Some people don't realize the impact words make. I had an uncle say wow you were always the pretty one but boy you have let yourself go. I look at him and held back my emotions and said thank you for your words.

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Is it not ridiculous! I don't go up to people and say omg u could be a model if u didn't have that hairy mole! Or omg u would be handsome if one eye wasn't bigger than the other. Rude people suck ????

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This has been my story my entire life.
The worst thing anyone ever said to me? An ex said
"If you were skinny, you'd be too pretty for me."
Implying that because I'm fat, I'm worthy of him, which makes

me less important than a "skinny" person.
He also said, if I were skinny I would no doubt be a model.
SO many people have told me that, and it just makes me feel horrible.

And ever notice how people are always like
"Oh my gosh, you have such a gorgeous face!"

and they never look at your body. Just your face.
That hurts.

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Hi I think people think they are giving you a compliment or something , I was told your so beautiful to be a BBW I said WTF that's not a compliment , then I when the weight began falling off I had all types of men hitting on me , my thought was this if I wasn't good enough then your not good enough for me now .

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I think every bigger person has dealt with this in some form or another. It is sad that people speak before they think, but such is life. What gets me the most is the same people come back when the weight it gone and are "blown away" but how great you look. That is what burns me the most.


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There's another side to this too, I think. I had a co-worker come to me just yesterday rather timidly, saying she wasn't sure how to say it or if she even should, but she thought I'd looked like I lost weight & wanted to compliment me, but thought she might embarrass me. Granted, when I do get compliments, I've realized that I have to learn how to accept them- I'm not someone who's used to being the center of attention, and when I am, I shuffle my feet and am not sure of what to say other than a mumbled, "Thanks."

Now, some people do open their yaps before their brain is switched to the "on" position, but there are folks out there too who want to compliment us, but aren't sure how. And it's not necessarily an unintentional slam that we looked like crap before...but they really care about us & are proud of us. Sometimes it just comes out wrong.

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You're right Suze. Some people definitely don't know how to
word things properly even though they mean nothing but nice.
But, some of the times, people are actually wording to be hurtful,
and when that happens, I'm sure you know as well as I do that
that sort of thing lingers, and sometimes leads to things like
stress eating. :/

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A lot of these people are related to me unfortunately :/ they mean it in a constructive criticism kinda way.... that's how they say it anyway. My aunt u

Is the worst about it. One of her favorite things to say, Mallory you were a beautiful child! Just darling... what happened to u dear? My answer.. I got fat? She says well dear you really need to work on that if you want your husband to stick it out with u...WTH?!?!?!? I avoid that woman at all costs ????

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Now that my surgery is getting closer and more real, the bottled up resentment for that tipe of bullying is really ovewhelming...

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I don't think they see It as bullying. I really think they believe that we enjoy being this way or something

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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