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Ok ladies. I have spent years of hiding from mirrors and cameras. Being obese I dressed in things to hide my body. I'm 7months out and 110 pounds down. I'm now struggling to find what looks good at my age. I'm in my 40's. I don't want to look like a woman desperately trying to be young. I have no clue what age appropriate is in 2015. I'm trying to keep it classy. Any good web sites for women my age?

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I'm over 60 and I haven't worried too much about the age appropriateness of my new, smaller wardrobe. I concentrate on comfort and on how the outfits make me feel. I don't shop in the Juniors section, or at Forever 21, but otherwise all is fair game. Have fun!

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I like J. Jill, Travelsmith, White House Black Market, banana Republic, Macy's, Kohls, and LL Bean. I also get some designer-type pieces from thredup.com and EBay. Good luck!

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My personal style is classic. But I shop for clothes everywhere from Neiman Marcus to Walmart. Whether the label is St. John or St. John's Bay, if it's a good value because it's on sale and/or can be paired with multiple pieces, it's a possible purchase.

Here are some things I've learned over the years:

1. All the experts advise that, after you're completely dressed, look in the mirror and consider removing at least one piece of jewelry or one accessory.

2. Ask your teenage daughter or niece what kinds of clothes women your age should not be wearing. Even the nice ones will be brutally honest.

3. Buy most of your best wardrobe pieces in a neutral palette, e.g, white, beige/tan/camel, black, navy, grey.

4. Avoid too many color / pattern combinations. For me, this means designing outfits that have pieces mostly in the same color, although not necessarily in the same color saturations.

5. If you want a big color burst, e.g., an orange jacket or an orange purse or an orange scarf, limit yourself to a single burst, not all three at the same time.

6. Try not to be matchy-matchy. Yesterday, I went shopping in $30 jeans, $300 boots, a Pendleton cotton turtleneck, an $80 jacket, and an Hermes scarf.

7. Watch and notice what others are wearing and what you think works on others (and what doesn't work). For those of us who aren't natural stylists, mimicry is a useful skill.

8. Give yourself permission to experiment and also to make mistakes. After all, that's how we learn.

9. Finally, at forty you don't exactly have one foot in the grave yet. ;)

Edited by VSGAnn2014

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I say whatever you like and feel comfortable in! Who cares what anyone else's thinks! Really any store you want!

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I just turned 63 a few days before my one year last week, and I have the same dilemma. For years I watched What Not to Wear, so I kind of have a little direction. But what else I do is people watch. I have my antennas out for women my age and make internal judgements about whether or not they look ridiculous.

Last year at the 2014 SAG Awards, Rita Moreno got an award for career achievements. She had on the most stunning maxi dress and leather jacket that looked very edgey for a women her age....but she looked GOOD. She inspired me to go for the gusto and spread my wings a bit.

Now I am 14 pounds from goal and seriously trying to pull together a new way of dressing my new body that I am unfamiliar with. For the first time in years ( after buying everything online from Lane Bryant and Woman Within), I am going to have to actually go in to a store and try things on. I am up for the challenge.

So, my suggestion is to observe and copy what speaks to you. Here is the lin for WNTW:

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/what-not-to-wear

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What is your lifestyle like? Are you sporty, outdoorsy, dressy, casual/chic? Other? What do you like? What worked for you in the past, what didn't? Since I am a shoe hound, I like to look at my shoes for the day and figure out what goes with them. I guess I'd start by searching the internet (especially if you don't have stores nearby) by focusing on the type of style you'd like, such as western wear. I personally like a lot of color, as I live in a rainy, foggy area-anything to perk up the scene-but a lot of people don't like a lot of color. What have you liked in the past, and not? If you add up all of the answers to these questions, I think you'll find a starting point. Most important: keep it fun! This should be a greatly fun endeavor, as you've worked so hard to get here! Enjoy every moment!

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It took me a little while to define my style, too. At 50, I was also concerned about not looking age appropriate or just inappropriate, in general. I've seen others who embraced their new bodies in a way that was less than flattering and not tasteful.

I spend a lot of time on pinterest, and that gave me an idea of what I like. I pinned the same sort of things, over and over. As I began shopping, I made a list, and started with basics. Neutral colors as the basis for matching with a lot of different things. As a result, I did end up with an awful lot of black, white, and gray. Most of it is also not very trendy, so I can use it a long time. That is also new for me. I wasn't used to staying a consistent size, ever!

I also only bought things on sale. I learned how to try things on in the stores, and then wait and watch for them to be on sale. I've gotten some surprisingly great deals that way.

I also look at what other people my age wear. And I also check with my young adult daughters. They certainly know what's too young.

I think it also pays to shop in places that cater to my age group. I particularly like White House Black Market. My kids think Chicos is a little old for me, but I like some of their things. I like JJill for some things, but a lot of their things are loose and flowy, and I need something more fitted or I look frumpy. I like Talbots, though they are too expensive most of the time. I also like Macy's and Dillards. But I can find things I like anywhere now that I know what to look for.

In addition to Pinterest, check out Fifty not frumpy. She gives daily posts and fashion ideas. Don't you love having this problem?

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That fiftynotfrumpy blog is interesting. And i like some of her ideas.

But, Lordy, that girl sure hangs out with a lot of white people. Not a single person of color anywhere in sight.

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My personal feeling is that as a woman over 25 you should avoid the juniors department, any item of clothing sized with an odd number (1, 3, 5, etc. Indicative of juniors clothes). Or anything that looks like your 15 year old should be wearing it. And the temptation is there to dress younger, especially if you were fat as a teenager or 20 something. I am 37, I don't mind looking 37. I like places like Old Navy and H & M for basics, New York & Company (good for work and casual), Macy's (specifically their Impulse Contemporary brands. They are a bit edgier, but that is my style. Of course I'm totally down with a legging and sweater from their Style & Co line too). Ann Taylor Loft (good for work). White House, Black Market. J Crew. Express and the Limited.

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I am a Francophile, so at age 50 I am looking forward to building a Parissiene Chic wardrobe. If that is for you there are lots of books available. (Focus on high quality, classic basics.) if that interests you google Paris Street Chic for some ideas.

I just gave my nieces the book Lessons from Madame Chic which has some ideas.

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I do buy some juniors stuff but use it selectively. Example, I bought a juniors sweater dress and wear it like a long shirt over skinny jeans and boots. I get so many compliments on that outfit. I also have some casual pants and jeans that are Jr but NOT super low. In fact one of them is the trendy high waisted pants. My view about juniors clothing is that used in conjunction with women's clothes you can make something look age appropriate without looking frumpy.

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What not to wear is a wonderful show to teach you the basics of building a sophisticated classic wardrobe from scratch. I don't think its on Netflix anymore but you can go to TLC.com search for the show and click on there 'style rules'. Also have fun with magazines you should check out the app 'next issue' you get a no obligation 30 day trial of over a hundred magazines including back issues. Just cancel before day 30 if you don't want to continue that will be plenty of time to check out every classic style under the sun

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Fantastic advise, thanks!

I seem to be in my workout clothing during the day. It's cold out. Sweaters and jeans seem to be my standard. This will be my first summer at my new weight. I cant afford plastic's. It has me a bit self conscious. The websites are a great help. Still trying to find my own style. It has been fun shopping. I treated myself to a little black dress to wear on my new years date with my husband. So much to Celebrate this year.Any one else have new years plans?.. would love to see a thread to see how others bring in 2015 with pic's...

Thanks again

Jenn

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Lots of good advice here! This is an issue I can TOTALLY relate to!

I second the asking a teen girl, my 16 year old daughter is my judge jury and executioner (which means anything she deems inappropriate she keeps and wears instead!)

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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