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My family feels I should at the table



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@@Sexy Granni I think it depends on where you are (mentally/emotionally) in your weight loss journey. Have you had surgery? Which one? How long ago? How are you feeling about joining the family?

In my opinion - this weight loss decision is about YOU and no one else. We have spent our lives doing for others and making our choices depending on what others want or think. When I made the choice to have the Gastric Sleeve, on Oct 20th this year, it was a choice that I made for myself and no one else. Along with the decision to have the surgery came the decision to begin making all my live choices based on what I want/need/think rather than what others want/need/think. I know it may sound very selfish. I thought so too. However, both you and I are now grandparents; which means we have already spent most of our lives doing for others.....our spouse....our children.....and now our grandchildren. I had to decide....at some point before I die.....to start making choices that make ME happy. Sure, making my family happy also made me happy. But, I needed to be truly happy with "MY" life. It started with the decision to have the surgery and to begin to make choices regarding my health/diet, etc based on what is best for me in order to be successful.

To this end I say that if you feel you're strong enough emotionally/ psychologically to attend a restaurant meal with your family, AND, stay true to your weigh loss lifestyle, Go For It. If not - or if it will cause you too much stress/anxiety or you feel you make make too many bad food choices - I say don't do it. They will eventually understand; if not now - eventually they will.

Best of luck to you in your journey to be healthy and truly happy.

Holiday Blessings, etc..

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Years ago, I watched a British movie called Bartleby. Bartleby gets a job as a secretary/receptionist and every time his boss asks him to do something, Bartleby says "I prefer not to." He must say it about 1,000 times during the movie, and you almost change the channel many times, but Bartleby's insistence draws you back in. Be a Bartleby for a while, and speak up for yourself. Tell them you prefer not to, but if they want to start a new tradition, they are welcome to come to your place for Breakfast and you can prepare a "make your own omelet" bar for everyone. Clearly, the family doesn't care how YOU feel, so don't feel so guilty about standing your ground.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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