Do you notice how much others eat?

[WL WARRIOR 690]

blondebomb,

I really like what you mentioned at the end of your response. I think it is important to not be judgmental and let others be themselves. There use to be so many social functions in which I would not eat in fear of others watching and judging how much the fat girl eats. Maybe it was paranoia, but I could sense the thoughts going on in their head after I caught them eying my plate.

Obese people feel frustration when others judge them as being stupid, irresponsible, or lazy. Ironically, many obese or WLS patients can behave in some extremely negative judgmental behavior themselves. Often the comments are geared toward groups of people with difficulties similar to our own. I know the original poster was not intending to sound cruel or harsh. Most people aren't aware that they are being critical and judgmental. When it is pointed out that comments like these sound judgmental, most people quickly realize that how they engage in the very same negative behavior they dislike when it is directed towards them.

Like blondbomb mentioned, focus on your own thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Let others worry about theirs. Everyone judges unfairly sometimes. I am trying to be more aware of my own judgmental comments, thoughts, and behavior.

[laurenella82 625]

In a family style or buffet situation, I don't put much "edible" food on my plate, but do put a few things on the plate that I won't eat, e.g., salad, bread. Then I push the stuff I'm not going to eat around on my plate or tear it into pieces. And I do eat very slow. I also don't mind getting "seconds" if my first serving was appropriately small.

I also tend to ask people questions, and while people are talking, there's NO way they can pay attention to what you're doing with your food. Then, if the situation permits, I get up and go into the kitchen and scrape some things off my plate.

People don't notice how much you eat. They do notice when you ask them to pass a dish or serve yourself food. And they do notice how long you're eating.

Oh, and you have to make a big fuss at the end about being absolutely STUFFED! And about how great everything was. And you can always ask the cook(s) for recipes.

My family notices! You fix your plate with a little bit of food and they look you have three heads! SMH! I guess that's why most of us are overweight! I will not fall victim to their shenanigans anymore! lol

[butterfyeffect 257]

I just got back from a cruise a couple of weeks ago, and let me tell you, I definitely noticed how much food other people ate!!

I admit that I was sometimes a little jealous, sitting there with my little scoop of scrambled eggs, and one link of turkey sausage at Breakfast, and watching other people at the buffet with a heaping plate of eggs, bacon and potatoes, then another one with pastries on it... But then I would get so stuffed after eating my tiny portion that I didn't care what other people did. But I definitely did also think about the fact that if it were me there a year ago I probably would have eaten even more than what these other people did, and probably have gone back for seconds too, so who am I to judge?

[blondebomb 580]

Yes please I have to do family dinner and this part of the family doesn't know that I had surgery and I didn't plan to tell them. How do I make it look like I eat more than I do????

I wouldnt worry about it..I just tell others I dont eat much anymore...none in my family except my hubs knows what I had done. if it does leak out an asked alls Im saying is I had to have my tummy worked on bc the tummy hormones stopped working right..which they did! an now I finally got on the right thyroid med an its doing wonders. dont eat much anymore!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Then I'll be "judgmental."

On cruises and during holidays and, yes, in restaurants, many diners eat multiple times the number of calories their bodies require.

That's why most people gain weight on cruises and during holidays.

In fact, 160 million Americans are now overweight or obese, and the number is growing.

[blondebomb 580]

blondebomb,

I really like what you mentioned at the end of your response. I think it is important to not be judgmental and let others be themselves. There use to be so many social functions in which I would not eat in fear of others watching and judging how much the fat girl eats. Maybe it was paranoia, but I could sense the thoughts going on in their head after I caught them eying my plate.

Obese people feel frustration when others judge them as being stupid, irresponsible, or lazy. Ironically, many obese or WLS patients can behave in some extremely negative judgmental behavior themselves. Often the comments are geared toward groups of people with difficulties similar to our own. I know the original poster was not intending to sound cruel or harsh. Most people aren't aware that they are being critical and judgmental. When it is pointed out that comments like these sound judgmental, most people quickly realize that how they engage in the very same negative behavior they dislike when it is directed towards them.

Like blondbomb mentioned, focus on your own thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Let others worry about theirs. Everyone judges unfairly sometimes. I am trying to be more aware of my own judgmental comments, thoughts, and behavior.

I have been trying to find what I even wrote! lol...I cant remember what I said...I hope no one thought I was being judgmental or maybe I am reading this wrong..IDK..haha...I feel like you..I am really trying my best to NOT judge I have friends who have emotional baggage over a lifetime an many like me ate to self medicate eat comfort food. that was MY inner force at times..then I slowed down an turned around then I hardly ate for yrs still no drop in weight, thyroid disease, became insulin resistance..etc then all these dx's over the past 4 yrs an then 1 dead thyroid shrivling up 2 my drs referred me to WLS I had no idea I would even qualify sure enuff it all fell in place. I want to help others but they have to be READY and WANT to make these drastic healthy lifestyle changes for it work. its a constant battle still with me when I get obsessive an compulsive and to really tell myself NO! make differant choices thru out the day. I am 5 months out over 80 down but I would NOT change a thing!! I just keep to myself try to not think about what others do around me with food. (easier said then done).. I do have a good BFF that we have talked an she is making some changes as far as getting off all white refined items and off artificial sweetners..she says she wants to drop some so it shouldnt take much for her to drop 20 30...I said go for it! we can do this! us 3 girls go on vacation every yr an have a great time! so we are working on oursleves for next yrs trip! lol...

[cdenney123 103]

This is so funny you started this I was thinking the same thing. I was at a thanksgiving dinner and everyone had their plates mounded with food while I have a little bowl of Soup. I was still sipping my Soup and they were all done and feeling horrible because they ate too much. That is what im happy about I dont ever want that again.. In general when I go out Im still shocked how much they eat because again im sipping soup..

[SuperDave 1,115]

I definitely notice, but more than how much, I notice how fast people eat. Watching people polish off a huge dinner before I can get in my 2 ounces, (and knowing I used to regularly do the same thing) amazes me!

[Forsythia 882]

I try not to notice. My husband eats like it's the last meal before his execution. Lol. My cat also eats like it's her last meal. Hubby has good genetics on his side but the cat, not so much. She gets a controlled amount of weight control food because of her gluttonous ways.

But you were referring to people. I do my best to focus on my plate. I'm not going to judge other people. Maybe they only had black coffee and a cigarette all day to save room for a big dinner? Maybe they are like my husband. I had to adjust my mind to worry about me.

[finediva 979]

@butterfyeffect. I went on a cruise in 2009 and came home 6 pounds heavier after one week. No, not Water weight, fat! Took me almost two months to get it off. We ater from the moment we stepped foot on the boat. Had Breakfast sent to the room AND, ate breakfast again after leaving the room. Wasn't hungry, but sat down to a 6 course dinner every night at 9pm. That sort of crap is what caused the gain. I look back now and wonder why I ate that much food. I was eating simply because the food was there and I felt it was already paid for. SMH.

[Beni 1,484]

I absolutely notice and I feel sorry for them because I know they are killing themselves. I also notice morbid obese people about and wish I could tell them there is a solution, you don't have to suffer. But it's not my place to say. Mostly I feel sad, especially if they are young because I wish I could tell them this is where you will 10, 20 years down the road. It's not unlike when I see someone smoking. I just feel so bad for them.

Restaurant portions are out of control in the USA. People don't eat like us overseas. I have had a chance to travel all over the world and nowhere have I seen our portion sizes being served. It's a horrid state of affairs and it's killing us.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I used to notice when I was newly sleeved. I think it was more of a comparison for myself - that I would have been eating that much or more. As time went on and I became accustomed to my smaller portions, I started thinking in terms of smaller portions for everyone. I host a lot of family gatherings, and I always had an abundance of food choices and amounts when entertaining. For a long time I had a hard time judging what the right amount to prepare would be, because my old ways collided with the new. Now, at two years out, I do a better job. I still prepare too much, but much fewer choices and certainly not enough for 2 or 3 times the amount of people I have. I also notice that I don't watch what people eat anywhere any more. I don't care. I know what I need to do, and that's what I focus on. As a fat person, I didn't want to be judged for what I ate, and as a WLS person, I still don't want to be judged. I assume others don't either.

[BryBro63 410]

I was just talking about this very subject...I now notice this, not because I'm being self-righteous or anything, but more because I see my old self in the habits of others, and there are habits that I thought I would miss but I don't. My co-worker went out to lunch and grabbed a very un-healthy meal, which was the exact same meal I would have pre-surgery. The meal was 5 pieces of fried chicken, extra large fries, extra large soda, 2 biscuits, Cole Slaw, and 2 hot apple pies. For my own sake, I did the calorie count and noticed that the single meal that I used to have came to more than 3700 calories!!! I realized I used to take in this much in a SINGLE MEAL, and now I don't even take in that many calories in 2 full days, including snacks!! I truly wonder how long I would have lasted at that pace!!

[Chrystee 838]

YES! my thinking is soo opposite now. we went out with some friends a few wks back...we went to Rubys..they (hubs and the other 2) got the salad bar on top of meal an when the hubs came back before the other 2 I told him Im going to play on my phone while y'all are eating...I said I am NOT going to just sit here an watch y'all eat all these food with this look on my face which I am DESPERTLY trying to avoid putting on about trying not to care of what others are eating...bc when I do get my main course which I order small already I immediatly ask for a to go box . I only eat about 4 or 5 small bites an then Im done! I get these comments all the time when with others.."IS THAT ALL YOUR EATING? ARE YOU FULL ALREADY? yep!! I just say I dont eat much anymore. my life an social life doesnt center around food anymore. I do get some looks like Im crazy but ya no I dont care! its me an my new lifestyle...they have noticed I have lost another human being in weight..lol...an I love it! I have a friend who is reacing 300 or more for all I no an she asked me what I have done told her everything I stopped eating, watch everything I eat an her responce was I dont see me losing this weight ever...been over weight all her life...in her 60s now...I said WHY? shes miserable. she has looked into the bariatric way but cant pass the mental/psychologic assesments...so I dont no what else to tell her. but now when I see what others eat when we do an it makes me sick to look at so I try an keep my mind on other things...I try not to be judgmental an let others be themselves an not care..I just control me!

I've always noticed everything we do is centered around food.. esp. where I live.. there isn't too much "to do" except go out to dinner..

Any time I've been successful at losing weight, I felt lonely cause I stopped going to as many social functions, cause they all are centered around drinking and eating.

[Chrystee 838]

I just got back from a cruise a couple of weeks ago, and let me tell you, I definitely noticed how much food other people ate!!

I admit that I was sometimes a little jealous, sitting there with my little scoop of scrambled eggs, and one link of turkey sausage at Breakfast, and watching other people at the buffet with a heaping plate of eggs, bacon and potatoes, then another one with pastries on it... But then I would get so stuffed after eating my tiny portion that I didn't care what other people did. But I definitely did also think about the fact that if it were me there a year ago I probably would have eaten even more than what these other people did, and probably have gone back for seconds too, so who am I to judge?

I haven't had my surgery yet, but I actually lost 10 pounds on my cruise! I think cause I ate healthy, and i had more to think about than eating.