Hi Everyone...I'm new to this site, as well as this journey.

Tipping the scale has always been a huge fear factor for me...and yet I've managed to do it several times.

The smallest I've been ever in adult years was 120lbs, and I was only 21. I managed to ride the roller coaster of weight gain in small increments and eventually skimmed the edge of the 140lb mark until I was about 26...and pregnant. By the time I gave birth to my son, I was a whopping 227lbs. The weight didn't melt away in my post pregnany workouts. It took a lot of work, appetite suppresant pills, water aerobics and a bunch of whinning. But my body finally gave in, and allowed me to maintain a more curvaceous physique where I hovered over the realm of 160-165lbs. It took time to accept that I would probably never get to 120lbs again, but at least I was comfortable.

Fastforward 10 years later, and I am sick to my stomach every time I step on the scale at the doctor's office, or in my bathroom at home. I never imagined that I would weigh 200lbs or more. As of today, I weigh 236lbs, and my body is screaming at me. My once small frame is proportionately lopsided as my stomach bulges out of anything I wear. I refuse to wear pants, unless I absolutely have to wear them...and that is usually when all of my dresses are unavailable waiting to be dry cleaned or washed on the gentle cycle. This summer I found myself buying dresses as often as I could, because I was comfortable. Pants restrict me, and searching for a shirt or blouse to hide the muffin top and wide hips is not a convenience.

I remember the first time the scale bypassed the 190 mark and landed on 201. I was devasted. I kicked into high gear and tried every type of diet you can think of...including Weight Watchers. I joined several weightloss clinics and received B12 shots and more appetite suppressant pills. The journey was hard and depressing. I ordered every workout DVD you can think off, including the latest and greatest Shawn T's T25.

Check out the rest of my story!

http://www.bariatricpal.com/user/240301-fatdiva14/

@@Fatdiva14, if only a persons size was measured by the amount of fitness clothes, video's, weighloss clubs joined, diet pills taken, and crying done and money spent. I'd be back to 110 pounds myself. But your story is so familiar!

Thank you @@Cody's mom...I see you have started your journey. I can't wait until I am able to breathe and look at myself differently.

Edited November 13, 201411 yr by Fatdiva14