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What do you see when you look in the mirror ?



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I know I look better than before but emotionally, I have yet to find peace because I still secretly fear that this is a just a dream and I will wake up most of my weight back.

Wow, @@erp, you expressed it perfectly! This is why we have to work so hard to get our heads right during the journey towards our goal. Ironically, if we do everything right, the day will come when the compliments fade, the exhilaration of fitting into new sizes diminishes, and our surgery will stop doing some of the heavy lifting. And from then on, comes... the rest of our lives. Just like watching children grow up, we need to try to embrace and Celebrate each success, each time we make the right choice, each scale and non-scale victory, each compliment, each disease we overcome, each ache or pain that goes away, and each milestone we achieve along the way. Every time someone say, "OMG, I didn't recognize you," I'm overjoyed, because that means the new me is coming to life. I hope and pray that you (and so many others) can learn to accept your success, not as a step towards the next failure, but as a well-earned and entirely positive outcome of your WLS decision; and focus your energies on maintaining that success by looking forwards and not backwards. We all deserve it! (Whew, I guess your statement above really moved me!)

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What a fantastic thread! I am taking out a pen and writing "worthy" on my hand right now. It's a hard thing for me to remember. Worthy and deserving of all good things. I used to write "willing" on my hand from time to time, because I was willing to do whatever it took to heal. Well, for me apparently it took surgery because now I feel like I am truly healing. I never felt like I belonged or that I was welcome. This may have to do with being adopted. When my parents got me there was an intention that finally having a baby would make my mother happy, that all of her problems had to do with her inability to carry a baby to term. Well, I didn't deliver. I was carried in shame by some one who could not deal with having an out of wedlock baby and given to some one who was not able to deal with the real sources of unhappiness in her life. I think that gets into our cells somehow. Meanwhile I am so fortunate to be truly loved. Adored even. But I had trouble accepting it, feeling it, because I could not truly adore myself. Now I'm getting glimpses of that. I sort of look at myself as a character in a book and admire some attribute -- then there is this feeling of, "oh, don't get carried away with yourself." Dammit, I'm ready to be carried away. I'm ready to really get it that I am one wonderful human being. I matter. And I'm welcome.

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I'm currently struggling with this... I'm down 31 lbs since surgery and 74 lbs since I began the whole process in July.

I keep getting comments, "You're disappearing!", "Skinny lady", "You're melting." But I don't see it...

I'm finally just under 200 lbs, for the first time in 15 years. I put on my prom dress a few weekends ago and I totally could have worn it.

I need to figure out how to make my brain catch up...

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What do you see when you look in the mirror ?

@@gowalking

short and sweet......... :)

i see a person that is soooo happy with life :)

and who happens to look "cute as a button too" ;) :D

kathy

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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