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annoting personal questions people ask.



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Questions you do NOT ask people who have had bariatric surgery (or frankly, anyone):

#1) are you supposed to eat that?

2) are you eating too much?

3) is that all you're going to eat?

4) Any good buffets we can go to around here?

And I wish they'd stop asking how we're eating and how much weight we've lost every time they call. I wish they'd just mind their own business. I will volunteer this info if/when I feel like bringing it up but I have a life and its not centered around what I eat.

Sorry for the vent. One set of my in laws (the ones I can't stand) are visiting and these are some questions they've asked. #1 question really irks me.

How do YOU respond to questions like these? How do I make them stop asking? I know they are just curious but I don't ask them what they've eaten that day or ask them how much they've eaten our make comments about how much or what they are eating or if he's eating heathy with his health issues...... you know?

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I know it is annoying but they are both curious and concern, The best way to handle the question is to say directly, "I know you are only concern and well meaning BUT it would help me if you didn't ask me questions about my diet or weight."

In the alternative answer the questions with as little information as possible - do not invite conversation by answering with long explanations;

#1) are you supposed to eat that? YES
2) are you eating too much? NO
3) is that all you're going to eat? YES
4) Any good buffets we can go to around here? YES, BUT I WON'T BE GOING.

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That is the very reason I told no one and kept my business mine. Then u can offer what information I feel comfortable eith. Good luck it will get easier.

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My husband has been doing the "you can't eat that" and I am 4 months out. Granted I have only been eating solid foods for a few weeks now and still introducing new foods to see how my new pouch handles it. While it annoys me and I have to remind him to please stop monitoring my food I am glad he is involved and concerned for my health so I can't be too mad at him.

I would keep your reaponse positive but short and don't give them the option to rebuttal.

Good luck!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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