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Guilt - How is it helping you?



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When embarking on and moving through the life-changing journey of weight loss surgery it is essential you have fair expectations on yourself. Always try treat yourself with kindness and compassion.

All too often I hear stories of extreme guilt related to eating choices – this guilt is not positive or productive and it will not serve you well!



YOU ARE NOT EXPECTED TO BE PERFECT!

There are times you are going to deviate from your intended eating plan and that is ok! Eating is not always about nutrition and weight – it is social, it is enjoyable and it contributes to the quality of our life. Small amounts of indulgent foods eaten slowly and mindfully and truly enjoyed are an essential component of your ultimate success.

However, at times these small amounts may blow out, indulgences may be eaten when you are emotional or distracted and this can leave you regretful. Don’t be too hard on yourself, focus on what you can control and get back on track at your next meal or snack time. Remember each meal is a new opportunity to get it ‘right’, to nourish your body and to achieve your goals.

IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION

Can you to listen out for any guilty internal thoughts related to your food choices. Imagine saying them to a good friend. Now turn those thoughts around - you can’t change what has happened so focus on what you can control, that is, the very next meal or snack.

It can be useful to ask yourself.

  • What were the triggers or events that lead me to make that food choice?
  • How can I plan to decrease my vulnerability next time I am in that situation?

Let us know how you go, and remember when it comes to food, guilt is a wasted emotion.

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wonderful topic.....it was years ago that I realized My Actions or Failure to Act produced a lot of my own 'guilt'.

Somehow I've moved beyond those cloying disappointments and energy drains. The more 'active participation in my OWN life' I undertook, the less guilt I had to drag around.

'Guilt' for me was like 'credit card debt'. I cut up them things in 1994 and haven't looked back. As a result my own 'discretionary income' seemed to rise as my debt load dwindled.....no sin of overspending, no guilt/sorrow/poverty of spirit.

In any case, the motivator for personal growth was that dank compost-cake of disappointment and despair with a thick frosting of guilt. Some of the reason I was able to break free of that emotional sugar/fat/overload, was taking the WLS steps and early support from Lap Band Talk.

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Love this article. I try to make sure that if I feel guilt, its in the form of acknowledging a mistake, rather than feeling ashamed. I think of the former as a step moving forward, while the latter keeps you trapped in the past.

If I make a mistake, I make sure I keep it contextualized. Yes I caved in to a goowy brownie. No I am not an uncontrollable failure. And I let the guilt go so that I can actually enjoy the goowy brownie affair, move on and commit to an extra workout that week.

When I catch myself having a staring contest with a potential mistake.. I try to ask myself, if I let this happen, how am I going to feel about it tomorrow? And in most cases, the brownie is first to blink and I walk away knowing I made a confident choice.

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Gotta love blinking brownies.

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Guilt sucks....don't go there!!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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