female only social skills victory!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Called...and off the bat started up with religion talk. Maybe not my type after all but the larger victory here is me meeting someone nice and actually knowing how to engage in the initial flirting process. .. perhaps now I will miss fewer opportunities and actually get some dates in a more normal "old fashioned" way since I detest online dating stuff.

[FairySleeve 297]

Called...and off the bat started up with religion talk. Maybe not my type after all but the larger victory here is me meeting someone nice and actually knowing how to engage in the initial flirting process. .. perhaps now I will miss fewer opportunities and actually get some dates in a more normal "old fashioned" way since I detest online dating stuff.

Yay! Okay unfortunately for this one lol but I'll wait for more stories to come from your next instinct.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Well, I have really enjoyed this thread, so thought i would share an update on 2 fronts.

First, I have tried "slightly" modifying my dress. Saturday night I went out to blues music with a meetup group. I also invited a guy I met a week ago (not a date, just invited him out) so I would have a male dance partner..haha. He is a terrible dancer, but a sweet guy and we had a nice time. Anyway, I dressed myself and looked in the mirror and said... I am doing it again. Not.quite.right for the occasion. So, I switched to dark blue skinny jeans instead of the black ones. I put on a loose, comfy top that did not emphasis my breasts. I put on a brand new blingy belt which was perfect for the "saloon" setting I was going to... dressed up in a country casual kinda way. Then I wore black booties instead of hot heels. Very comfy, and a little edgy without being overdone. OMG - I was asked to dance, every time I walked to the bar or bathroom, I noticed eyes following me. It worked - it was attention in the RIGHT way. I had women compliment on my belt, my outfit. I think I am getting a little bit better at this and i really appreciate my friend that gave me the feedback. Like, I was very happy with how i dressed, it was my style, it pleased me - but it also somehow just fit the setting too, better than I usually do I think. I am continually improving my social skills and the image I want to project... a work in progress!

Second update, guy I met in the parking lot which is how this whole thread began...haha.

We have talked on the phone a few times, and he LOVES to dance and says he actually knows how. He asked me last night how my swing dance lessons are going - and i told him I am a rank beginner, but having fun. So, we are hitting the town next Friday night (it's a small town!) where there are like 3-4 live music places in walking distance to each other with no cover charge and we are going dancing. I am excited to actually dance with someone that knows what he is doing, listen to some bands and have a date with zero expectations other than having fun dancing. I for some reason had a hard time finding that sort of thing via online dating and have completely given up on that - I became jaded and needed a fresh start and decided the real life meeting people suits me better!

Yesterday, I had another missed opportunity. My girlfriend and I were riding our horses in a fairly urban area - a shared use trail with lots of hikers, bikes etc. We helped a group of hikers that were lost - led them back to civilization..haha. We rode fast most of the ride and just had a hoot of a time. Anyway, talked for a long time with a solo guy who was seeking navigational guidance as well. We talked bikes, hikes, horses, weather everything. No ring. He said his sister has horses and he wants to ride, so I should have said "hey, I have a beginner safe extra horse always looking for someone to exercise him - want to go for a ride with me sometime?" which would have led to a phone number exchange. I don't know why I didn't say that as he was clearly dropping hints... i think maybe my friend being there or something. Anyway, my goal is to just keep being more "open" and giving guys a chance to ask me for my phone number. I realize that I often shut them down - unintentionally - old self protective habits I guess. My girlfriend told me she has always been that way too - not very good at flirting or taking the initiative with men. Practice, practice practice...

[MichiganChic 3,262]

@@CowgirlJane Great update! Love these stories

[FairySleeve 297]

I would be looking forward to that dancing night too!! I wish you have a great time!

[cindyt 24]

Hi there,

I am seriously considering surgery...going next month to a seminar. I have been divorced almost 8 years and have yet to have one relationship! I have forgotten how to flirt. I have had many many 1st dates from dating sites, but I have been attracted to only 1 or 2. I haven't had sex in like 7 years! It is seriously getting to me! My #1 reason for wanting WLS is for my aching knees....but honestly the #2 reason is to find a man I am actually attracted to to have sex!!! Seems the only men that contact me are less than desireable in the looks and jobs department!

I can so relate to your post because I know I need help in the social department...having conversations with men and actually putting myself out there more. I too dress very well, am smart and well spoken...I think I either intimidate some men, or I just don't put the "interested" vibe out there enough.... anyway I love reading about everyones experiences and I hope I can make it through all the hoops my insurance co will want me to jump through to get to the "prize"!

Edited October 16, 2014 by cindyt

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Dancing is just so much fun. I love going out whether it's to a bar just to shake my booty or one of the regular dances I go to where there are certain dances for certain songs.

I get a lot of compliments on my dancing,and I know WLS has made this all 100% possible.

I'm still not very good at dressing myself or especially adding belts or jewelry etc., but I still get a lot of compliments from all different aged guys when I go out, which feels really good for a 62 year old lady. Today is my birthday!

[scrapbasket 83]

I too am getting used to becoming visible again and attention from men.even with gray hair in front, they are giving me the eye. what, cant you see the fat and gray hair??? I guess I must look ok or project something good. it sure is strange tho I like it! love sara

[lsereno 2,525]

Dancing is just so much fun. I love going out whether it's to a bar just to shake my booty or one of the regular dances I go to where there are certain dances for certain songs.

I get a lot of compliments on my dancing,and I know WLS has made this all 100% possible.

I'm still not very good at dressing myself or especially adding belts or jewelry etc., but I still get a lot of compliments from all different aged guys when I go out, which feels really good for a 62 year old lady. Today is my birthday!

Happy Birthday Daisy!

[AvaFern 3,516]

Good for you! I also never recognize when people are flirting with me and tend to have that polite wall as well. I've gone back and forth between being the size I am now to a little smaller and then the size I used to be, so I feel very conscious of how men treat a woman who is small compared to a woman who is large and I don't feel terribly comfortable when they start talking to me.

Fingers crossed the man who owns an airplane and a barn calls you!!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

We have had several dates now. ..going really good!

[Katcloudshepherd 630]

CowgirlJane,

I don't have a "flirt alert" capability either For me, that's A OK since I've been married for 22 years. I just don't pay attention to the signals. I was morbidly obese for so many years and didn't give it a second thought. Now, men are giving me lingering glances and I still don't pay it much mind because I'm not "on the market" so to speak.

I'm so happy for you. Hope things continue to go well.

Blessings,

Kathleen

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

We have had several dates now. ..going really good!

I don't think you give your self enough credit! You haven't had any trouble attracting guys all over the place!

I hope this one is a keeper!

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Happy Birthday Daisy!

Thank you! I didn't mean to hijack CGJ's thread!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I think most women do fine attracting men, it's attracting and keeping the right ones that are the challenge! For me, I switched to the mindset of living the life i want and looking for guys in that context. Just so happen that the very first one I managed to somehow not block of from talking to me is one that is "into me" and is looking for a great long term relationship. And, we get on well, have common interests and in a similar place in life... lots of good signs. Only time will tell, but we are off to a great start. Even the religion thing that originally put me off a bit we have talked about and are more on the same page than I realized on that subject too.