Dont be a b***h

[elpasovet 83]

I know what it means. Just pointing out the glaring hypocrisy.

Lol how is smh wrong? I won't respond to anymore of your posts because it seems as though you are looking for an argument as well ...smh.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Lol how is smh wrong? I won't respond to anymore of your posts because it seems as though you are looking for an argument as well ...smh.

Okie doke.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Yup I do think you're being a b***h. Because no matter where I post you are always following me and trying to "egg" me on.

• moonlitestarbrite is one of the kindest people here. Get a life. Sick and tired. Sick and tired of people attacking decent people, sick and tired of the words bully and bxxxh. My God cannot we act with kindness and love?

[deedadumble 1,033]

Troll: One who posts a deliberately provocative message to a newsgroup or message board with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Lets keep this on rule based replies please!

Lets also remember why we are on here in the first place and that is to help one another get through the real stuff that is happening regarding WLS.

K, thanks!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Lets keep this on rule based replies please!

Lets also remember why we are on here in the first place and that is to help one another get through the real stuff that is happening regarding WLS.

K, thanks!

I do not know what a rule based reply is RJ. I am a simple human being and I am here for help and to help.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I do not know what a rule based reply is RJ. I am a simple human being and I am here for help and to help.

I do not know what a rule based reply is RJ. I am a simple human being and I am here for help and to help.

I know you are here to do just that. I mean the name calling...I have to monitor this forum. It is probably the hardest one to follow....So I am one among others that are responsible to keep it nice. That's all I'm saying..

[deedadumble 1,033]

The original post does not follow the rules RJ. It should have been shut down a long time ago.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Maybe so.....But tonight it seems there is more unpleasantness then before. I will check it out with Alex and see what he says about it.

thank you for pointing that out.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

elpasovet wrote:

I agree with the rude/preachy part. I have seen that as well. Sensitive or not they are still a human being and shouldn't be belittled or talked down to because of their choices. Who do these people think they are?

These people (including me) are WLS patients who think they are on a message board about WLS. They don't think (and I don't think) that we are your therapists. I am a WLS patient just like you will be if you ever actually decide to have WLS.

Here, I have an obligation only to decide whether I will respond to your questions and posts. And if I do decide to respond to you, my obligation is to give you my honest point of view.

If you really believe that everyone on this forum is obligated to avoid typing anything that would ruffle your feathers, then you deserve all the agitation you can give yourself.

You have extremely unrealistic expectations for social media -- and of us.

Once again, we are neither your therapists nor your mother.

Edited August 31, 2014 by VSGAnn2014

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Perhaps the words bitch and bully which offend the heck out of me, should be banned. I don't bully anyone, I have never been a bitch in my life, I am accused of slamming people, what is wrong with women on the attack here? This gets ridiculous. Irritable sometimes, yes, that is me. Old age does that sometimes. But I am genuine, real, kind, and honest.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

Well... I actually didn't see it this way in the beginning but now that it is pointed out.. The original post violates the forum rules.

I am admittedly biased because this thread is full of experienced sleevers who post useful helpful info and advice to others quite regularly. Not to say any of us are perfect but I am often amazed at how quickly some jump to being offended rather than considering the possibilities there is something to learn. I am forever grateful for those who came before and shared their learnings ... and not just the rosy stuff. It's easy to see why most of them, and in fact most from my "era" are gone from the general forums. After a while you start feel fatigued by constantly wordsmithing every sentence to avoid offense. What cracks me up as I was once called out on THAT. You know, speaking in gentle terms while still conveying a strong meaning. I don't recall the insult that was tossed at me that time.

Hey Ann, there is something about the tone of this that reminds me of our good friend terror or whatever her name is on a different forum. Knows all about how bad everyone else is...With little reflection back in the mirror.

Anyway, I never want to hurt offend or put down anyone, we are all in this together but I am tired of the word bully and similar being thrown around when someone doesn't agree with you.

Edited August 31, 2014 by CowgirlJane

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I believe that we go around and around this issue as well. And no one gets tired of replying to this topic...So what is the difference when people ask the same questions over and over again?

We chose to comment when it suits us and the way we comment suits us. Maybe this topic is over used on this forum. And we feel we have to defend our comments. Which we don't as long as we show respect and have the right motives.

Just saying that we all see things differently and have had different experiences and learned different things. We all have the right to express these truths. Our truths. But when it gets to being unkind. Then the line is drawn.

Then the hosts have to step in and monitor. Using the expression B***H in the thread was a draw for many. And as @@CowgirlJane pointed out it was against rules. I did not see it that way either at first.

I guess it can be difficult to express any opinions without someone taking offence. Me included. So I will leave this to someone else to continue to follow and monitor this thread. Almost 2000 people have read it! Wow!

If 2000 people would read other types of topics.....Just saying. Maybe more would be accomplished and learned......

[LipstickLady 25,682]

But again I ask, who gets to be the ultimate judge on who is being "kind" or "respectful"?

We are never all going to communicate in the same way, nor should anyone be presumptuous enough to ask that we try to. I would MUCH rather someone give me real answers to my questions or real advice if I ask. I don't need or want rainbows and unicorns nor will I pass them out. Some people might consider my approach less kind but is it really kind to coddle someone who needs a wake up call? How many people have we seen come here, ask a question, get a kick in the rump, get their feathers ruffled and then come back a few days or weeks later and THANK those who did the kicking for the honesty?

There is no answer that is going to please everyone. I prefer to allow the communication to flow as long as there is no name calling or blatant insults. I am also a "host" of this forum and I think the original post is "controversial" and a bit "trollish" but I don't have a problem with it. I do, however, have a problem with someone calling someone else a b!tch. How funny is it that the person who did the calling out, actually turned out to be the biggest offender?

Edited August 31, 2014 by LipstickLady

[gmanbat 5,889]

At times in this life we are thrust into the inescapable presence of unpleasant people: the rude clerk at the DMV, the soap-allergic olfactory offender in the grocery line, the sulphuric mother of the sweet woman you are hopelessly in love with.

Everything here is behind glass, it cannot hurt you without your permission, you can defeat any attack by the simple tap of a finger or voice command and go on unscathed with your life.

Other than regular rules moderating by hosts and admins lecturing folks on being nice is an exercise in wheel spinning. The bad people are bad so they won't listen, the good people don't need to hear it.

In my life the offensive people that I have the freedom to escape are normally dealt with by employing my best defensive tactic.... not being there. When I see their name, when I hear their voice, I occupy other space and experience other environs. My life is fraught with trouble enough without subjecting myself to self-torture.

Forums like this remind me of a guy working quality inspection on a conveyer belt of peanuts. You occasionally see a bad nut, don't eat it, put it aside, move on.

Edited August 31, 2014 by gmanbat