I've been trolling for a little while and posted a few threads. I've seen others get verbally attacked and bullied on this site and all I want to say is don't be a bitch to folks here. Most of us already have suffered some type of abuse in some form or another and it isn't necessary.

Is hurting other people making you feel better about yourself? I thought this site was to build people up ...let's be positive to one another and not hateful there is enough of that in the world already!!!!

And thank you to everyone that took time out to answer my questions or tell me their experience.

I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

I agree. I would imagine quite a few of us are insecure and are looking for moral builders and positive support. Thanks for speaking out.

Edited October 6, 201411 yr by tomsbiggirl

Thanks for posting this. I put something similar as my status. I was more or less called sensitive.

Those people have problems with themselves so much that they cut others down in a minute.

It's not like the post they tear people up on are about going on alcohol and drug benders. Mean people.

I've been trolling for a little while and posted a few threads. I've seen others get verbally attacked and bullied on this site and all I want to say is don't be a b***h to folks here. Most of us already have suffered some type of abuse in some form or another and it isn't necessary.

Is hurting other people making you feel better about yourself? I thought this site was to build people up ...let's be positive to one another and not hateful there is enough of that in the world already!!!!

There is another thread ongoing right now, and Shersun adds this to her post. I don't take anything personal unless it's a compliment.

I am a lot older than most people here. I have been posting since ?October, 2013, and never met a bxxxx here. Please look at the number of posts I have made. I am opinionated (like your Grandma lol). I try to roll gently and give good, solid, and kind advice, and I probably target more older people because bariatric surgery can be a life or death matter for some, like my husband. This site is to build people up. Please do not take a few snarky posts and turn it into something. Bariatric Pal is the best thing going. In almost a year, I have seen two people stomp off and say I am done here. Well I can tell you it is their loss, because there are many kind and wonderful human beings here, committed to helping each other. I would not have it any other way here. I can tell you if I think you are hurting yourself if you ask me a question, and if you get mad that I said you should not do this, does that make me a bad person? Relax and make friends here. It is awesome!!!!!! Linda

If I get a response that feels mean-spirited, then I don't answer back and just move on. I learned from having such stress that it maxed out my blood pressure and hit me with a stroke in 2010. Now if I think someone is bullying me on-line here, I just walk away and leave them unresponded. I am not going to give them a chance to hit me twice. I have been on here since September 2013 and have received awesome advice that carried me though many dark days.

The 80/20 rule of life works here, too. Let's say that 80% of the comments here are intended to uplift you and sail you over the rough spots. Don't let that 20% of roadkill slow you down. There is a lot of valuable support on this forum. Please feel free to ask us questions. As you procede through your own weight loss journey, you will be able to look back and help other newbies following behind you.

I must be blind as I haven't seen a single negative posting, all I've read over the past few weeks is positive responses and honesty. I for one appreciate honesty.

If you see verbal attacks or bullying, report them to Alex and other moderators here.

That's what the report button is for.

I have not encountered mean-spirited posts on this site and I'm sorry if that has been your experience. I am actually grateful when I make one of my hand wringing complaints and someone gives me a reality check. But I know I would not get take it well if their advice was actually a put-down.

If you see a post that is inappropriate, please report it. I don't want this site to go the way of so many other places on the internet!

Please correct me if im wrong, but did I miss something ? Ive seen about 98 % positive remarks, and 2% negitive / snarky. Occasionally we all have a bad day, are cranky, vent a little too strongly, etc. We're human, and not perfect. But bullying ? Never seen it here. Do I need glasses ? Just wondering what I did'nt see, as I would'nt like anyone to think I was ever "bullying " etc for having a strong opinion. Just wondering. ................

I think all the hormones being released as we lose weight combined with the need to find something to file the void of emotional eating might be behind some of the snarky posts.

I love the title of this post

Remember the Elton John song from the 70s called "The B!+€# is Back"? My school had "bring your favorite '45 to music class" day. A kid brought that record to class and was promptly sent to the principal's office.

@@pink dahlia, I agree. I'm not the sugar coating type, I don't like sugar coating things, and I hate it when people sugar coat the truth, so if I ask this board something, please, answer honestly, and no sugar coating, I've always enjoyed the truth. If I come on here whinning I'm gainng weight becasue I've slipped back to my old ways of what led me to obesity, then please don't coddle me, give me straight answers and force me back to reality. Me and only me got me into this mess, I appreciate straight and honest talk, please!.. And to everyone on this board / forum, you are all kind and compassionate people, and I am blind to anything the originator of this post has said and beleive me, I have eight hours a day at work to surf this site, and I've seen NOTHING of the sort!, I think everyone has tried to give honest feedback, even if they try to guide you in a manor that seems a little harsh. Kudo's to you all!

Edited August 27, 201412 yr by Cody's mom

i hope you arent trolling! trolling means posting stuff in order to get negative emotional responses from people!

imma post this again. it seems sometimes people get so focused on what others are doing, they lose sight of why they actually come to bariatric pal in the first place.

this is probably the worst analogy to use for us, but, here it goes.... when you go to a buffet and there is a dish there you dont like, do you get angry and rage at the chef for making and offering you something you dont like? do you feel offended and take it personally? do you feel like the chef's choice was made specifically as a way to hurt you? do you feel so hurt you tell the chef you can only eat the other food if he/she stops making all the food you dont care for? probably not.

most likely what you do is say, "oh what is that over there that i do like?" and you move on to choose the dishes you do like. you dont let those dishes you dont like ruin your meal or wreck the enjoyment of the food you do like.

online forums are exactly the same way. people will offer you all kinds of things. you get to pick and choose what you want to take in. you need not get angry, enraged, offended, take it personal, or allow it to wreck your experience here at bariatric pal. take what you want, leave the rest. of course its your choice. but ultimately, your experience here is your responsibility, no one else's..... only you can choose your attitude.

I've been using this site since last year and I try to be positive in all my responses and fortunately--I've not had a negative response to any of my posts.

I think many people who use this site are under a great deal of stress no mater what stage of the process they are in. Everyone communicates differently. Some people are much more direct and some perceive that directness as being brusque. Everyone's perception is their reality.

Have a good one y'all,

Kathleen