Sleeve on Wednesday, Frustrated With Family

[Capegin 12]

This is a minor rant! But, I want to preface it by saying that by and large, my friends and family have been AMAZINGLY supportive. Even my mom, who doesn't "get it" has kept her mouth shut and been positive about this.

My rant, however, is about just why people like my mom don't get it. What's so damn confusing about this choice? My mom is one of those people who gets a little overweight from time to time, realizes it, goes to WW, get down to goal, and that's that. She's lucky, and that's great! She doesn't see why I can't do the same. She has seen me struggle with my weight for almost all of my 35 years. She's seen me miserable shopping for clothes. She has seen me lose 114 lbs on Biggest Loser, and gain it all back. She has also seen me reach a number of other goals by not giving up. My point is, that if getting to and maintaining a healthy weight were simply a matter of my drive to do so, I'm the type of person who would have done it by now. It's obviously bigger than that. When I was explaining the process and the science behind why for many people it is a better and more long lasting choice than traditional "dieting" she asked, "Well, if you're still going to have to make those healthy choices every day, why not skip the surgery and do WW again. Isn't that the same thing?" No, Mom, it's not. I've done that AGAIN AND AGAIN for years. I have lost and regained the same 30 lbs, and spent thousands of dollars on that. I have been to therapy, I have sobbed and cried routinely over that. Clearly, it's not the right approach for me. I explained that studies show that only about 3% of obese people can maintain weight loss, compared to 50-60% with surgical intervention. That still doesn't seem high enough of a percent for her. I'm her child, so of course I'm beautiful at any size to her. But that is not the same as being healthy at any size. My overweight (obese?) dad has Type II diabetes and sleep apnea. I explained to her that I'm lucky that I don't have any health problems, but I can't reasonably expect to stay that way if I don't fix my obesity. Her reply, "Well did the doctor actually say that?" *Sigh*

Honestly, she has been as supportive as it's in her capacity to be, and that's huge growth for her. I know she just wants me to be happy and healthy... I just don't understand why she can't see that this will help get me there. If I had a heart problem, I'd have heart surgery. I am obese, and I'm having surgery to help me combat that. Case closed.

[Katcloudshepherd 630]

Capegin,

My stomach didn't work so I had it fixed. It constantly told me I was hungry. I see it as the same as someone who has a defective heart having it surgically fixed. Yes a defective heart is an obvious, immediate threat but obesity does KILL it just takes a lot longer and you end up dying from the results of obesity---diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer, etc., etc., etc.

I hope you have a routine surgery and easy recovery.

Blessings,

Kathleen

[JamieLogical 8,727]

Sounds like your mom and my husband have a lot in common. I've heard him say the EXACT same things. And while, like your mom, he is supportive and will support me and love me no matter what, I just can't seem to make him "get it."

It IS frustrating. I suppose I should just be grateful that he is supporting me through this, but I really wish I could find some way to make him understand, so he could truly be 100% on board with it.

[abordenster 43]

My daughter had that argument. Why can't you just diet and exercise like everybody else is what she would say. We have a close friend who is on the hcg diet. A shot everyday and 500 calories a day. Not doing that. I like my brain functioning at the fullest capacity possible. Then right before surgery she said she was worried I would be skinnier than her. She was crying. I told her skinny is not the goal but holding her babies someday is. She's over it now. During the first couple of weeks after surgery if I threw up she was like see I told you so. Quite the critic. She was and is a big supporter now.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Family!

Sometimes, you just want to ...

[JCP 619]

I don't get it either. It's like people who tell people with clinical depression to "cheer up". Really... Gee... I never thought of that! Thanks!

[Shells_Almost_There 357]

Sounds like you have made up your mind and know what you are doing -- go for it! Mini-rant aside, it's good to know some of the uphill challenges you might have post-op (like the "I told you so's" ) and work past those towards your own goals. Best of luck on Wednesday! You'll soon be on the loser's bench again.