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5 Years and still struggling



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I got my lap band 5 years ago. I was 414 when I started and got down to about 360. I have been struggling ever since, I have gained weight and I am now at 375, but I have been holding steady at that weight for about 3 years or so. It is really difficult, I drink too much when I eat and I force food through the band with liquids. I have a difficult time with the "full" feeling from the band, it feels really uncomfortable and I feel like I need to drink something to get rid of that feeling. My wife has been supportive, but now she is indifferent because she has seen no major progress. Food is a drug and I don't know how to fight the addiction. My doctor moved her practice almost an hour away into the heart of a not so nice neighborhood in Baltimore, so getting there is less than convenient so I haven't had a fill in over a year. Is anyone else struggling? I need help, advice, support or whatever. I have two beautiful children and I want to be able see them grow up.

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Sorry for your struggle. food is an addition to me too and I don't know how to get over it either. I told my husband (a drinker) I was like the kind of alcoholic who drinks the vanilla and the medicine just for the alcohol. He thought if he had food that I didn't like, that I wouldn't eat it. But I can't help myself.

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@@Menth13

Hi!

I was banded in Sept 2009, so have had mine for quite a while too. And I have experienced a band that IS and a band that is NOT working as it was designed too.

I hear a couple of GOOD things coming from your post...

1. You have maintained your current weight for the last three years.

2. You're drinking to push food through your band.

3. You still have the desire to lose it sounds like.

You've maintained, without gaining....so the band may still be doing somthing.....just not quite enough.

Drinking to push food through....can be corrected.

You haven't given up!

Now, a couple questions for you, if you don't mind.

Did you lose the 60+ pounds early on because you were dieting and YOU controlled what you ate, or did your band work differently for you during that time?

Are you able to follow up with your doctor and see that everything is good with your band? Adjustment level, no other issues?

There's a lot of experience throughout these boards....each of us having our own stories and suggestions. Glad you're here!

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Thinking about myself in your situation....I quess my band is tight enough, but not over tight, that I cannot drink to push food through...if I did, it will come back up and out....

So when I get that feeling you are describing, it is either time to slow down, or stop eating altogether...or perhaps the food I am eating is not appropriate... and drinking Water will not make it go away, only make it worse....

So eventually, over time, my addictions, my cravings, my approach to food and eating entirely, was FORCED to change due to having surgery, not with anything I did through my own will power....(I don't have any in this regard)

It was behavior Modification.....

I am not in the habit of telling other people to do or not to do...their lives are not my business and I will not Dx over the internet with strangers....

But I will look at my experience with the band and it would appear my band is adjusted a little tighter, where in the beginning had unpleasant consequences, but forced me to change to where I don't even notice it anymore, and don't think about the band being there at all.....changing a life time of bad habits and addictions that were killing me and ruining my life.

A little while back I had a 1/2cc taken out....tipped the scales entirely allowing me to eat more, and returning my cravings and hunger....I had to get the 1/2cc put back in within 2 weeks...

But again, that's me and my story...there are 100"s of people ere who have found their success with different approaches....somewhere in the mix you will find yours.

Edited by B-52

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Does your doctor have monthly support group meetings? Getting together with others, and comparing notes, might help with the motivation to control what you are eating.

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Just an observation, but I've seen people use food as an escape from other problems; usually related to depression or other emotional issues. That can be hard to deal with on your own. I'd at least call your doctor and talk to the staff. They might have some suggestions that would help you.

Good luck, it is hard, but worth it.

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Thank you all for the encouraging words, and knowing I am not alone in the struggle. I will be contacting another bariatric surgeon that is considerably closer to where and see if he is willing to take on new patients that he did not operate on. I have also been in contact with a friend on my wife's who had bypass surgery to see what support groups she goes to. My plan is to take it one day at a time and to try my very best for my kids.

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Hey. I got banded 6 years ago and although I was been able to stop gaining weight I never got down to my desired weight. Had issues with possible slippage and was completely "unfilled" earlier this year, Disaster. Now up 25 lbs and struggling to get refilled to get good restriction and at the same time try and get weight off on my own. It's been very hard but I feel a renewed determination to succeed. Hopefully will get another fill within next few weeks and get back on track. Good luck to everyone on their journey.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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