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lied about my surgery :/



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So! I finally broke the ice and told my boss Im having surgery early August. I didnt tell him I was getting sleeved instead my dumb ass says I have a bad stomach ulcer. He was very understanding but at the end of the conversation he tells me to make sure on the doctors note it has a diagnosis since Im taking so much time off. Wtf! Now I feel dumb for lying I shouldve just said it was personal but in the same breath im like.. fuck it, if he finds out, he finds out. (Sorry for the profanity) but now im thinking doesnt that violate the HIPPA law? Do I really have to have a diagnosis or is he just being nosey? Input anyone?

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My note only said that I had to be off for a certain period of time and did not even say I had surgery. I do not believe they need anything more than that but you should check with your HR dept

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Hi Amarie,



It is your personal business what type of surgery you are having. I don't feel your boss has to know. I told my boss that I was having a surgical procedure and I would need 2 weeks off. I provided human resources with appropriate doctor excuse but it didn't say anything about diagnosis or why I was having surgery. It just listed how much time I needed and was signed by surgeon. Good luck on your surgery.

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Are you taking PTO OR STD?

I really hope you're taking STD

If you are taking PTO, then I think he can ask for a doctor note but doubtful your surgeon will break the HIPAA laws and add a diagnosis

If STD then he can't ask for squat all of it goes to the STD people and he sees nothing

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So! I finally broke the ice and told my boss Im having surgery early August. I didnt tell him I was getting sleeved instead my dumb ass says I have a bad stomach ulcer. He was very understanding but at the end of the conversation he tells me to make sure on the doctors note it has a diagnosis since Im taking so much time off. Wtf! Now I feel dumb for lying I shouldve just said it was personal but in the same breath im like.. f**k it, if he finds out, he finds out. (Sorry for the profanity) but now im thinking doesnt that violate the HIPPA law? Do I really have to have a diagnosis or is he just being nosey? Input anyone?

He doesn't need to know specifics. Have your note say "you need to be out for x amount of time for surgical recovery". Or something of that line. As long as it's a medical note from a provider they can't require details. Now if your filling out short term disability paper work then they probably need to know more. BUT you can give that straight to your HR department. Your boss never needs to see it.

(I was told this by my HR department when I had to fill out Fmla for my chronic illness. )

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I work for a fortune 100 company and manage a department of 150 people. Neither I nor HR can handle any return to work notes from doctors since we make hiring and firing decisions. The notes have to go straight to our leave of absence team. You should double check with another source. Likely your boss is just misinformed on the policy.

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P.S. surgery for an ulcer is totally my cover story too. ;)

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Are you taking PTO OR STD?

I really hope you're taking STD

If you are taking PTO, then I think he can ask for a doctor note but doubtful your surgeon will break the HIPAA laws and add a diagnosis

If STD then he can't ask for squat all of it goes to the STD people and he sees nothing

Im using my paid sick time first. And beings that I already have an approved vacation for a few days after my surgery im going to use that towards the end of my recovering process.. but hopefully I have enough sick time to save my vacation. Not at all using personal

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I work for a fortune 100 company and manage a department of 150 people. Neither I nor HR can handle any return to work notes from doctors since we make hiring and firing decisions. The notes have to go straight to our leave of absence team. You should double check with another source. Likely your boss is just misinformed on the policy.

Thanks I will call HR tomorrow and find out specifics

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Hi Amarie,

It is your personal business what type of surgery you are having. I don't feel your boss has to know. I told my boss that I was having a surgical procedure and I would need 2 weeks off. I provided human resources with appropriate doctor excuse but it didn't say anything about diagnosis or why I was having surgery. It just listed how much time I needed and was signed by surgeon. Good luck on your surgery.

Thank you! I 100% agree with you

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Just ask the doctor to write:

'Gastrointestinal issues requiring surgical intervention. This will necessitate a period of leave last x amount of days'...

End of story!

Don't panic honey. I think you'll be fine :)

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I do not believe your boss needs to know what surgery you are having. I agree he must be misinformed about process and protocol. I didn't take anytime off although I did tell them that I had a surgery scheduled and would let them know if I would need time off based on the outcome. read your states policy and hippa regs that will help.

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My cover story ended up being having my gallbladder removed. I never wanted to tell people about my sleeve, but I didn't purposefully want to straight up lie about something else either.. When I was initially asking my charge nurse about what I needed to do for my FMLA, one of my coworkers walked in and heard me say I was planning on having surgery. She caught me in the breakroom later and asked me what I was having done and in a moment of panic, that was what my brain came up with. Now I'm stuck with it... oh well. I guess it works.

For my FMLA, none of my managers needed to have a diagnosis or anything like that. I just had to tell them "surgery" and my MD sent in paperwork confirming how much time I needed off.

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I lied too when pushed for an answer to my manager's inquiry. But according to my HR dept., my manager can't, and shouldn't have, asked anything. The only info she will see is my need for a procedure and how long off. According to Hartford, who handles our FMLA cases, it is a HIPAA violation to ask such questions.

Good luck!

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Whew! Thank u guys I feel much better. Ill get my dr note and specifically tell my dr I want my procedure confidential and if he says anything about it.. ill let it be known thats its confidential. Im sure what all u guys are saying is right but ill still call HR and tell them what my boss said

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

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