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It hurts to know that I will never see someone again...

People come and go in all our lifes, but there are always those who impact us in incredible ways. I am writing this right now after spending the last week struggling with the death of someone I knew. He was a gentle man and a man who had friends where ever he went. He could make you smile with more ease than most. He stood up for all the things he believed in and was there if he felt someone had been wronged in some way. He was one of those people we all admire and wish there were more of. Sadly there is one less now...

He died of a massive heart attack while on the waiting list to have WL surgery. He was only in his 40's and he had so much he wanted to do. He was trying to make his life better but somehow got lost in the paperwork and wait time. My heart hurts and I cry because of this loss that seems so senseless. I know that there are others who have not made it because the wait was too long. I am greatful that I can self pay even though it will mean doing without somethings. I just wish that there was a way to make the world understand that this is not about people who need to go on a diet and just stop eating. That this is a disease that is like so many others.. but there are ways to help and even maybe cure just like the other diseases. We need more Doctors and more clinics just like cancer clinics ... This is a problem that is only growing. We hear it everyday on the news!

Forgive me if I am not making sense, I am rambling and venting as this is one of the few places I can just let out this sadness and hurt. I could likely go over this post and fine tune it before hitting send but I am not going to as I just need to let it out... raw

This morning I walked and walked and then I came in and tried to go on with the day... I finally said ..." I need to vent this so I can move on, this is a safe place to do it."

I will miss this fellow very much, as will so many others he touched, but I will also be forever greatful for the time I did have to know him.

As well I know this one true thing

I will not die without a fight! I will battle this disease with everything I have and I am greatful to be able to have this surgery and to have a tool that will help me live a healthier life!

I will dance, I will run, and I will play

I will not regret the things I did not do because I will have enjoyed all the things I got to do!

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Dear Leslie Lee,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. How very tragic. I hope your hurt will heal over time.

I think we all have to be grateful that we are able to do something about this disease. It is almost like your friend dying while waiting for a heart or kidney transplant. I am glad though that your resolve is strenghtened now - I am sure that he would be very proud and happy for you.

Thinking of you,

Susan

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I am so sorry to hear about your friend Leslie Lee. Go ahead and vent out that is what we are here for. SUPPORT

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His life was no doubt more blessed to have you as a grand friend.

..........................................................................................

I spoke on the phone to my insurance company one day, the human element in me came out. I cried. I told this women, "all I want to do is run, breath..live long enough to hold my grandchildren" and the human in her came out.

It seems we all know someone like your friend. She lost a friend who was denied coverage for her WLS. We have much to be grateful for and never take a day that is given to us for granted.

HUGS your way!!

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Leslielee

I am so very sorry to hear about your sudden loss. You and your friend's family will be in our prayers. As for rambling, go ahead and share your feelings. That is an important part of grieving. If you need formal grief counselling and not sure where to go, please send me a private e-mail.

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Sorry Lesley Lee. I know only to well how it feels to lose someone too young. You can only be grateful that you knew him and treasure his memories. My thoughts are with you.

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Mrs. Yoda and I are sorry for your Loss too. It may not be much but I've always liked this saying:

"If you love someone, put their name in a circle, instead of a heart, because hearts can break, but circles go on forever."

it wonlt fill the hole left by your friends passing, but it may dull the ache a little bit...

Again we are sorry...

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Oh this is such sad news LeslieLee, I am so sorry to hear of it. The fact that he was loved meant he was a good man.

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My condolences. Hopefully one day help for people in his, and all our situations will be more widely available.

Andrew

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-=smiles softly and nods=-

Thank you everyone for your kindness and for caring. I really needed to vent and although I know there are those locally who knew him that also need to vent or just talk there is really no one that I can say "Hey you know I am really pissed off that he didn't get his surgery when he first started looking... or that I wish he could have self paid for it like I am doing. He had to wait too long. It isn't right!"

Thank goodness for this board!

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Your friend would want you to use his example and be inspired and even more determined to look after yourself, take care.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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