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well I told my parents..didn't go well



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My mom has been the opposite - she has been pushing for this surgery. Every step of the way she calls and asks what is the hold up. I have had other medical issues she never mentions, but this has been her priority. My family is thin. I am the fat son, the embarrassment. Now that I have had the surgery its all about how much are you going to lose and how fast. There is a family reunion in July and she wants to make sure I will look good in the photos. She is so draining, that I simply avoid talking to her.

I can sure understand your avoiding talking to her. Pretty soon you will love the new you. My husband is down 90 lbs since Nov. 2013. He was sleeved 12/2. Share your successes, and good luck Moto!!!

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My mom has been the opposite - she has been pushing for this surgery. Every step of the way she calls and asks what is the hold up. I have had other medical issues she never mentions, but this has been her priority. My family is thin. I am the fat son, the embarrassment. Now that I have had the surgery its all about how much are you going to lose and how fast. There is a family reunion in July and she wants to make sure I will look good in the photos. She is so draining, that I simply avoid talking to her.

She drains me more often than not

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Jeez! Family!

What I see often here is a desperate longing for acceptance from parents who truly don't seem to know or value their children. Yes, there are always parent-child generational differences. But so many of the parents I see described here have staggering boundary violation issues and uncontrollable compulsions to control their grown children's lives.

What mother goes through her grown child's mail! What kind of mother says, upon being told of pending surgery, "You know better!" Apparently, lots of people's mothers.

I'm so sorry. I hope you all know that you deserve better than that.

We are doing this for ourselves -- not for our mothers' approval.

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may lighting strike me dead if i ever act like this with my kids... i have an 11 year old son who is about 17 pounds overweight. he has a pedometer that syncs with the wii u. i encourage him to move. i encourage him to eat more fruits and veggies and drink Water instead of chocolate milk. he is doing well. is getting stronger and loves breaking his own recored with the pedometer. i pray i never act like an ass with him though. or my daughter. who is skinny as a rail right now, but so was i at 7. i hope i am never a parent who "drains" my kids.... i never want to be that parent.

Edited by moonlitestarbrite

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Hello country girl. I have faced lack of support thus far as well with my husband. I am really hoping for support here.

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Hello country girl. I have faced lack of support thus far as well with my husband. I am really hoping for support here.

Weezy, please try to set things right with your husband before you have surgery. The very best of wishes for you. My husband and I were sleeved together. I wish you happiness. Linda

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<p>I finally told my parents yesterday. My dad was very supportive, my mom, not so much. My dad was honest that he didn't know much about it, but wanted me happy again. My mom (who works in the med field) told me to try different options, jenny craig, nutri system, etc. I told her I've done it all and it doesn't work for me, that's why I have done so much over the past year to get this surgery. We left lunch on 2 different pages, but at least it's out in the open. I just wish she would understand and support me.</p>

I went through the exact same thing with my parents. Dad just wants me to be happy and healthy again. My mom who is the one who is always on my case about my weight is totally opposed. If she can't be supportive I wish she would not say anything at all. It's so frustrating.

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You are doing it for you and it will be the best decision you ever made. My heart goes out to everyone who doesn't have their families' support. I am thankful for my husband who has been awesome this past month since i was sleeved. I was afraid to tell my mom too. I am 66 and she is 88, but she saw it on abc news a couple of days before I told her and was all for it because she heard of the health benefits and the possible cure for diabetes. I am on my way!!!! I have already had my blood pressure med cut in half and am down from four injections of insulin a day to only one and a very low dose. It is ALL worth it!

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Hello country girl. I have faced lack of support thus far as well with my husband. I am really hoping for support here.

Weezy, please try to set things right with your husband before you have surgery. The very best of wishes for you. My husband and I were sleeved together. I wish you happiness. Linda
LindaThanks. He does not believe in any surgery for weight loss and is overweight himself and diabetic! I do not want to become diabetic!

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LindaThanks. He does not believe in any surgery for weight loss and is overweight himself and diabetic! I do not want to become diabetic!

Weezy, my husband has been diabetic almost 40 years. I got tired of calling rescue to him unconscious at 3 am, thinking he would die. When I was diagnosed diabetic and asthmatic, and weighed 220 lbs, I was terrified. I took him to a seminar and thank God they told me I qualified for the sleeve. I led my husband into sleeving and he is one happy man today, 90 lbs. down. Take care of yourself!!!! Linda

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BTW Weezy I am off Metformin (after a year on it) and asthma inhalers.

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I finally told my parents yesterday. My dad was very supportive, my mom, not so much. My dad was honest that he didn't know much about it, but wanted me happy again. My mom (who works in the med field) told me to try different options, jenny craig, nutri system, etc. I told her I've done it all and it doesn't work for me, that's why I have done so much over the past year to get this surgery. We left lunch on 2 different pages, but at least it's out in the open. I just wish she would understand and support me.

I'm not telling mine either yet..I did say theyr going in an fixing my tummy an hernia. I didn't say weight loss was the side effect theyll figure that one out..haha: )

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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