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Sitting next to my mom.....



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I Am sitting next to my mom on the beach and dying to tell her about my surgery BUT I know she would tell all Her sisters and my entire family will know by the end of the day!!! I don't mind telling people after my surgery and once I start loosing but I am nervous something will get in the way and I won't be able to get it done

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If you are a grown a--woman, then do the latter. I would only share it with her if you don't have anyone to support you and if you knew that you could trust her to keep it private. Good luck with your decision.

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I chose to tell only a selected few prior to surgery , I am 13wks out and I have still kept it to myself. I discuss it with other sleevers or bypass patients... it just seems to be entirely too many questions, answers and explaining

I Am sitting next to my mom on the beach and dying to tell her about my surgery BUT I know she would tell all Her sisters and my entire family will know by the end of the day!!! I don't mind telling people after my surgery and once I start loosing but I am nervous something will get in the way and I won't be able to get it done

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I agree tell her when it's done. If I were to tell my mom she would tell all and I'm 57 yrs old!

All my family lives in different states than I, my kids are here. I will tell them when my surgery date comes up. Which I'm doing the 6 month wait.

Good luck, I understand.

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Thanks everyone!!! You really helped! It's hard for me to keep a secret especially from my mom and sister but I know it's best!! ...my husband knows and a few select friends and that's it!

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I was going to keep it to just my hubby and kids. They would not tell anyone. But I got to thinking about "what ifs" and told my mom and sister. My sister is keeping it to herself but my mom has told her sisters, my brother's girlfriend etc. When I asked her she said well they're just family! So only tell people if you are willing for it to get out!!!

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I told my parents and my boys so that if something were to go wrong they would know what the deal was. I didn't want to tell my Mom, as she is a retired nurse and not very supportive of weight loss surgery in general, but she was very supportive and researched the procedure and is comfortable with me having the surgery. After I got over the hurdle of telling my Mom, it was easy to tell a few friends and they are excited for me.

I figured if my friends knew, then possibly they would be supportive through the rest of the process as well. Knowing that I will not be sharing with birthday cakes and that our cookouts will be a little different on my end will be a big help. They won't hound me to "just try a bite" if they know it could make me sick.

As far as people knowing that I had surgery to help me lose weight, well I thought long and hard about it and decided that I really didn't care what anyone thought. I have to take care of myself the best I can and this is decision was made after years of losing 30 lbs and gaining 40 every time I turned around. I refused to wait until I had diabetes or high blood pressure to have the surgery. Everyone has their own path and this one is mine.

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Well, I'm one of those who has told no one except my husband and my best friend. I'm working on the theory tat once it's out, it's hard to put the toothpaste back into the tube.....

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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