Not too proud of myself....

babsyintx · September 28, 2004

Hi Everyone,

On Friday, I made a last minute decision to go to New York for my sisters 40th birthday. My family consists of thin folks who eat carbs, Teddy Grahams, cheesecake , biscotti and lots of Pasta. So naturally from the time I arrived until the time I left, I ate what others ate.

First there was the party which consisted of penne ala vodka, a five foot italian sub sandwich, eggplant parmagiana, lemon chicken, potato and macaroni salad and for the rest you get the picture!

Dessert consisted of three different choices like cheesecake, cannolis and birthday cake. THere was also champagne, MUDSLIDES to follow and homemade wine.

Well needless to say, I had to try everything. I guess I was surprised at how much I could eat with the grazing over a 5 hour period. I knew it was bad since once I get on the carb trail, I have trouble getting off of it. Saturday and Sunday were pretty much the same. I tried to get some exercise and walked a little and did the elliptical machine forabout 15 minutes.

I am afraid to get on the scale and find myself back over 200 pounds. Here I am 15 months post op still obsessing about food some of the time. I know I could use a fill, but my doc wants me to wait 2 more months. (I recently had an unfill of .20 after a fill of .10 which made me looser and more receptive for food.)

I dont believe in the elusive sweet spot that everyone talks about despite my success losing 136 pounds so far. I do have restriction and when I attempted to find the sweet spot, I just got overfilled and had to take more out than they put in . So I do know my maximum which is somewhere between 2.5 CC. and 2.6, but not a drop more because I was miserable for about 2 days before having the .10 they put in . I now have 2.4, which is not enough but still offers me some restriction.

So I am upset with myself for making such bad food choices. I could have just said no. I was hoping to drop another 5 pounds before coming to Vegas next week. Now I will be lucky to just be the same weight I am today. I think I am going to do Protein Shakes this week and see where I get.... Do you sense my frustration?

Babs in TX

334/198/170

-136

La_madam · September 28, 2004

You need to be EXTREMELY proud of yourself!! Are you kidding

Losing 136lbs is an amazing assomplishment. So who cares, you fell off the wagon. It's done, it's over , now just get back on the wagon. Don't let it get you down. Just a little bump in the road is how I see it. You have done so good Babs..you are an inspirations to so many of us here with your 136lbs...! I'm looking forward to meeting you in Vegas.

Iluvharleys · September 28, 2004

Michelle is right, you need to be very proud. This is a lifetime thing, and you will fall off sometimes, just get back on and things will be fine. If we can't have certain times that we can enjoy life, then something is wrong. You have done amazing, and you will be fine. You can do it!

Betty

New Hope · September 28, 2004

Babs, please don't be hard on yourself! You have done remarkably well in a very short length of time! And this party sounds like the ultimate tempation! All that great, unhealthy food - everywhere! I guess they wouldn't have thought of having a salad bar. Well, it will be a year before she has another birthday. But, other than too much foods, I know you had a great time and it meant the world to her that you came!

~c~ · September 28, 2004

"normal" people eat right everyday and pig out on special occasions.I know for me this used to be reversed and i am working on turning it around.With your weight loss it seems you have accomplished this!Don;t feel bad that you indulged in special foods!

Just go back to your routine...you are doing FANTASTIC!!

C

LisaMG · September 28, 2004

You've obviosly been doing SOMETHING right. You have lost double the amount that others have in your time frame.

Look at your stats girl, 14 months ago you were banded, sice then you've lost 136lbs., that an avg. of about 8lbs. a month. You are doing something right!

I think I speak for alot of us when I say job well done! I hope to do the same.

Just curios, what did you do for yourself when you reached the century mark? You know, how did you reward yourself for losing 100 lbs.?

donali · September 28, 2004

BABS!!!!!

I, too, am SO SO SO proud of you!!

You have had an AMAZING journey. You did NOT "fall off the wagon" - there is no "wagon". You indulged for a weekend - so what? Your five pound goal is pushed off for a couple of weeks - SO WHAT!! This is your LIFE, Girl, and you are LIVING it!!

Sometimes life is filled with carbs...

I can NOT wait to meet you in Vegas, regardless of your weight... That's NOT the important thing about you, to me.

(((hugs)))

babsyintx · September 28, 2004

Hi Guys,

You are all wonderful. I did get on the scale reluctantly today and I gained two pounds since Friday. So back to mostly liquids and Protein shakes this week. I really overdid it this weekend. Yes, I am a little down about the gain, but at least now I know I can get it off. So my goal this week is to work out almost everyday and keep my calories under 1000. I think the one thing I have learned with this journey is that it is filled with ups and downs and you have to just go with the flow and not get discouraged everytime there is an increase. (Now if I can only convince myself of this....

Donali: You are very sweet and wonderful and I look forward to meeting you too!!!

P.S. The one thing that freaked me out this weekend is how much male attention I received. It seemed like men were falling from the sky to help me with my bags on the plane and talk to me inflight etc.. I am in scary territory!

Babs in TX

babsyintx · September 28, 2004

OOPs,

I forgot to answer Lisa's question:

Lisa, I really didnt do much when I reached the century mark. When I got below 200 a few weeks ago, I had a couple of parties and dinners out with other bandster friends.

Babs in TX

Rebeccalee · September 28, 2004

Babs, you are doing so well. Keep up the good work!

I can understand how you feel when you make a goal, though. I wanted to Celebrate with food when I lost a certain amount. How ironic to want to reward ourselves for eating less by eating more. But... it is part of all cultures to Celebrate with food. I think we should do it and then make that big push to get back to the program. It sounds like you are doing just that.

Besides, we want to live normally, and part of that is eating with others. You know better than most of us how to work the band. I think you are doing a fantastic job!

claraluz · September 28, 2004

Babs, congratulations on the outstanding weight loss! I know what you mean about carbs being hard to resist once you start because I have that problem too, but the reverse is also true: After no more than three days of sometimes white-knuckled discipline in eating right, the carb craving usually lessens dramatically. I will just echo what everyone else said: You know how to be successful better than most of us do. That hasn't gone away. Good luck!

Nancy