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Emotions + eating



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@@☠carolinagirl☠ -- How GREAT is that picture!!! I'm going to print it out and post it on the fridge with this picture of my dogs (who just happen to be begging for treats!) Actually, I don't have to post their picture on the fridge, because any time I'm standing at the fridge, they are going to be in this same position which happens to have been taken while I was standing at the fridge -- with them begging for treats.

post-211531-0-79128300-1401459362_thumb.jpg

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@@☠carolinagirl☠ -- How GREAT is that picture!!! I'm going to print it out and post it on the fridge with this picture of my dogs (who just happen to be begging for treats!) Actually, I don't have to post their picture on the fridge, because any time I'm standing at the fridge, they are going to be in this same position which happens to have been taken while I was standing at the fridge -- with them begging for treats.

At my house... same circus, different clowns.

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same circus... different clowns... describes my dating life...sigh

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Hilarious! I used to wonder at times if I might be part Labrador Retriever, except of course for the retrieving part -- that's exercise, right? Lol. I am not a dog. But oh, the feelings. So many feelings -- and that's what I used food for, to tamp them right down. As soon as I sensed that whirring inside, I would start looking for food. And sometimes I would eat ahead of time because I knew an anxiety-provoking occasion was on the docket. I used to "prep" myself with a snack prior to a conference call. There's something about that phone and having to communicate in that way which really sets off anxiety for me. Or meetings. I usually work from home but when I have to see clients one-on-one or heaven forbid conduct a training session, etc., I would do both -- first the prepping with food and then after I would stop somewhere for a reward. This kind of emotional eating became like a set of parenthesis for me -- punctuation.

Now I allow those feelings to come right up to the surface and guess what? They are not so bad. Actually most of them are kind of silly. Low self-esteem can certainly kick off some pretty immature responses -- "what if they don't like me" is really "what if they don't like my work." Now that I know what it is I can roll my eyes at myself and move forward in a new way. That tentacled mess in my head has unbraided and now when I feel those knots coming I try to take some time to really look at what's going on. The overwhelm I feel in trying to manage my daily life, our family, the land, my job, creative work, pets, etc. -- well, when I really look at it all I feel like I'm doing a great job. I am patting myself on the back now instead of undermining myself -- first by denying the feelings and then by inappropriate eating followed by the inevitable beating myself up over time. "I'm so fat."

As a former Labrador Retriever, of course I ate for lots of other reasons, too, but I'd say anxiety is right at the top of my hit parade. Still -- eating from boredom, celebration -- pure love of food. I do still love food and I enjoy eating -- that's important to me. I'm a good cook and I like to be "in" food, preparing it, serving it, organizing the pantries, having dinner parties, etc. I didn't want to turn my back on food in a weird way and I'm glad that now I can still enjoy food but just in smaller amounts at appropriate intervals. Eating for the right reason, like it's time for a small meal, rather than eating for every reason possible. Much of my eating was "in for a penny, in for a pound," like I had to get it in because I knew I'd probably be putting myself on a severe diet soon. I'm very glad to not be on a diet. Sure, I have to think about it -- I am careful. But I was so restrictive before and was never able to sustain a program for long enough to lose the weight without regaining. The band is enabling me to do that and I'm so grateful.

This is a wonderful thread -- I'm really enjoying reading every one's thoughtful insights into why we do what we do (or did what we did so we don't do it again).

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CowGirlJane...LOLRH

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Bandista thanks for your response...made me feel good

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CowGirlJane...LOLRH

LOLRH? please explain. I'm not aware of these abbreviations.

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I've been seeing a counselor for a while pre-surgery, and I'm continuing to see her post-surgery. It's helped me recognize my triggers (I don't eat when I'm upset or when I'm fighting with my bf. That's an automatic appetite suppressant), but when I'm bored? I snack mindlessly. Which is part of the reason I chose to restart college at the same time as my surgery. It keeps me occupied and when I'm busy, I don't think about food. I do make sure I keep drinking, but keeping occupied has helped distract me greatly.

My other major trigger is simply habit. It's habit to eat at certain times, habit to have dessert this many times a week, whatever. But since surgery, I can't eat at set times, because my tummy doesn't always want fed when the clock says it's lunch time. I always do my shake in the morning at 6 a.m. when I get up, and sometimes the tummy wants something more substantial at 11 a.m. Sometimes it's not until 2 p.m. (a lot depends on if I exercise a lot. I tend to want an earlier lunch if I've been walking or cycling) Breaking the habit and breaking through the boredom are two of the major things I hope will keep me on target.

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I just had a day of emotional eating. Although the amount is NOTHING like it used to be. I mainly was not concerned with eating Protein first. It's scary, but I'm so glad I'm not alone. I believe that this will be a life-long struggle and that will support I can overcome the need to want to eat when I'm depressed. Thank you all for sharing.

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I just had a day of emotional eating. Although the amount is NOTHING like it used to be. I mainly was not concerned with eating Protein first. It's scary, but I'm so glad I'm not alone. I believe that this will be a life-long struggle and that will support I can overcome the need to want to eat when I'm depressed. Thank you all for sharing.

I recommend this book. It helped me a lot in separating emotions from my eating. That reduces the struggle.

"The Emotional First + Aid Kit: a Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery"

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So I got some bad news today...and I really over did it today.I ate the wrong things and too much of it.I'm totally depressed and stressed out about things, but I hope to get back on track tomorrow.I feel hopeless

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So I got some bad news today...and I really over did it today.I ate the wrong things and too much of it.I'm totally depressed and stressed out about things, but I hope to get back on track tomorrow.I feel hopeless

Not a big deal in the large scheme of things. Tomorrow's another day!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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