Just Need to Vent

[BandedCandace 105]

I am FRUSTRATED...I am FRUSTRATED that I can't get below 330 and stay there for more than 2 weeks..I am FRUSTRATED that I count and I track and I work out and nothing changes...I am FRUSTRATED with the a**holes that tell me I was just too fat for the lap band to work I should have gotten gastric bypass...I am FRUSTRATED that my ex boyfriend that I posted about in January that dumped me after 3 years has decided that he needs to go to the same gym as me and likes to tell me how my body hasn't changed in months and now he tries to embarrass me at the gym..and it really FRUSTRATES me that all of this is affecting my mood and my confidence. I am 15 months post op..I have been pretty much stuck for 6 months. I get to 325 and then I am slowly creeping back up to 333..back down to 328 and back up to 331..I KNOW I have done well..and I am amazed at how much better I feel just by going from 428 to 332 (this week) but I want MORE I want to lose MORE. I want to tell everyone who has doubted me MAINLY my ex to shove it and laugh in their face and say HAHA YES! I can do it! I have switched my food around and I get my Water in and I don't eat slider foods and I take my Vitamins, I work out everyday and rotate work outs, I push myself until I can't push anymore, but the damn scale will not budge!!! I know I shouldn't focus on numbers, but isn't this why we are here? to actually lose weight? TO see that number dwindle down to a number that we are proud to discuss? sure, saying I weight 332 sounds MUCH better than 428, but this isn't my stopping point...that's not enough for me. I lost 9 lbs last month and I go to the dr Wednesday and I know I have gained some of that back and I don't get it. Maybe I'm not tight enough, because I sure am hungry, but my dr felt like I needed to switch my diet up some before getting much of a fill..so I did. I feel defeated and all of the negativity coming from a**holes and the ex aren't helping me any. I have been getting up at 3 am to go work out before work just so I dont see him so I am dragging at work and plain exhausted and EMOTIONAL. I can cry at the drop of a hat because of the frustration. I know that this too shall pass..but until it does I need some words of encouragement/wisdom or something because right now I feel like throwing the towel in and saying I quit.

[lisacaron 5,075]

@@BandedCandace You are having a very rough time of it lady and for that I am sorry. I would like to personally take your ex use him as a punching bag or a crash dummy or some equally painful and demeaning thing which is just about what he needs and deserves from reading your post!!

What gym do you go to? If it's a chain consider switching to another one and getting away from him, or changing your times and going super early or super late and not letting anyone know when your there. If you check in at four square, twitter or Facebook don't do it. Then take up kick boxing and picture the jerks face with every kick! I hate him for you already!

You have lost nearly 100 pounds in a short amount of time, and I know you want to lose more and you will you will you can do this and you will do it! I have confidence in you and so do many here. I can see the change in your photo and you are not too fat for a band! I really dislike it when people make those statements. WLS is just a tool, and no matter the one you choose each one has it's ups and downs and each one has to be worked at! Trust me I know! I am banded too I have my own set of issues...and I have to work at it and work hard for every ounce I lose, and I have never been happier!

I feel healthy, and I am grateful for that every single day. Don't let some miserable person rob you of your happiness. This guy even though I have said all these things about him because he has made me angry today reading your post, probably has more problems in his little pinky then we do in our whole FAT bodies!!! We should feel sorry and have pity on a sad person like that cause we are BIGGER people! HAHAHA and for that reason we will...and we will forget about him totally! Put him out of our minds, and not give him one ounce of power over us to make us feel badly to make us angry or to make us feel less then the amazing wonderful women that we are! We take back our power and we leave that person and those other people with nothing to make us feel anything about them.

Now how' that???? Do you feel better....???? Jazzed up??? ready for some kick boxing?? I'm ready!

[Bandista 7,466]

Hi Candace, congratulations on all you've done so far. Don't forget to pat yourself on the back as your weight loss is a tremendous accomplishment and you're really working it -- you're going to the gym, you're not eating sliders and you're dealing with emotional issues. Your weight WILL shift and you'll be heading down, down, down. It's going to feel really good to hit that next goal. Do you use My Fitness Pal or some other way of counting calories? I don't count regularly (though I love to plug the exercise in!) but this is such a good way of seeing if there are some empty calories sneaking into your diet. It might be good to sit down with a nutritionist for this purpose. Also some people mix it up with carb cycling, etc. Just know that you are on your way. We all level out for periods of time and of course it's very frustrating -- just keep with it and keep your chin up. This issue with the ex is serious. He is sabotaging you. I don't have any good advice about how to deal with this except to keep yourself safe. One technique that works for me when there are a lot of feelings involved is to step back mentally from whatever it is -- I sort of picture what is going on but pretend it's other people. This has helped me get through some situations -- like watching it as a movie rather than being wrapped up in the movie. Good luck and sending best wishes your way!

[BlueMoon~T 276]

@@BandedCandace, first off *Hugs* Secondly, you have lost a lot of weight. You should be proud of your progress! Don't let dumbass take that away from you. If your switching your food around remember its still more calories spent than calories consumed. You could be building muscle. Have you measured yourself or noticed a difference in the way your clothes are fitting. Look for ANY NSV! You've got this. I'm so with you on wanting to give a giant middle finger to the people who have said negative things about my WLS. But seriously, you have to get the attitude of F*** em! You did this for yourself and you can do this. Don't give up you're worth this fight, this struggle, it's part of our WANT to WILL ourselves to be successful. You have an entire community here who want to see you reach your goals. The only failure here would be you giving up! Find your mantra and when you feel like giving up, say it over and over.

Now, I can be emotional too. I sometimes wear my feelings on my sleeve and all I can say is use it. Cry if you need to but get angry at those assholes that are giving you shit! Find an exercise that let's you release some of your frustrations. Oddly enough, yoga works for me.

Now go get em tiger! We've got your back!

[BandedCandace 105]

I woke up today with a little bit better attitude. I refuse to let him or anyone else bring me down because that's exactly what they want. I live in a small town so this is the only gym I can attend, but since the weather is nicer I am going to start walking and jogging outside. I can do zumba and stuff like that in my house so I plan to stay away from that gym unless it's super early or super late until I am completely out of this funk. At this point I don't know if I can see him without punching him or throwing something in his direction JUST because it would make me feel better. I will be successful and get out of this funk. I keep telling myself if I didn't have surgery I would be 428 plus more I am sure. Thank you for the words of encouragement and for the kick ass attitude..which is what I need get back! Thanks yall!

[enjoythetime 1,457]

@@BandedCandace You've found your motivation girl!! " I want to tell everyone who has doubted me MAINLY my ex to shove it and laugh in their face and say HAHA YES! I can do it!"

For me one of the greatest motivators is showing someone who doubts my ability that I can and will and do it!!!

In regards to your diet. I know you said that you're switching things up. Can you give us an idea of what you eat and your portions sizes so that maybe we can help? Are you getting enough Protein in every day? Are you getting in all of your Water? I know this sounds odd but depending on what type of excerise you're doing you may not be consuming enough calories so your body is holding onto everything causing the scale to not budge or go up. I'm not sure if it sounds like you need a band adjustment or a calorie adjustment. Working out the way you are could be causing you to consume too little calories will make you feel like you're starving. Just a thought. I'm sure you've evaluated it but just in case I thought I'd throw that out there.

As far as everything else goes, remove negative people from your life! They're sucking the joy from you and that will only keep you feelling defeated. Like Lisa said, switch gyms, not because you're hiding from him but because you don't need to put yourself through that, PLUS just think how great it will be when you run into him the next time after not seeing him for a while and dropping xx lbs. and being like yeah, you f&*%ed up:-) (which we already know he did but now it's in his face:-))

You've done a great job and should be VERY proud of your accomplishements. You seem like a very strong person so keep your head up!:-)

Edited May 20, 2014 by enjoythetime