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I Am So Angry When People Think Surgery Is The Easy Option!



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I'm in the process of doing research and stuff on whether or not I'm going to get surgery, and I've already noticed this. My healthy weight friends and family are all "if it helps you be healthy, go for it! Get healthy girl!" My overweight friends look at me like I'm a cheating heathen to even consider it. It's so weird to me.

Easier compared to what? Everything is relative... Ignorance of the dedication it takes to be compliant WLS "losers". There are plenty of people on this forum that haven't been successful with their surgeries. I'm not judging, but you have to change your lifestyle. No matter what surgery you have and if you don't it won't work. So, easy... no way!

Oddly enough, my two best friends are gym rats and runners and have been my biggest supporters. The negativity has come from friends and family who are over-weight. Now, I'm just letting my progress speak for itself.

If ppl don't like it, tell them to kiss your shrinking ass!

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When people say wow you've lost a lot of weight. How did you do it. I don't mind telling them. This is my life. I'm 43 years old. I have been dieting since I was 12 years old. Ups and down. Okay now my body is different. It metabolizes food different, the rate at which you loose weight is different, being overweight starts to be a catalyst for certain health issues. So guess what I made the right choice because of the shoes I have walked in. If you don't know my struggle than shut up. Everyone is different. You do you and I'm doing me. This is the best thing I could have ever done on my life. So whoever don't like it I don't care. This is my life and my decision and I feel soooooooooooooo good. Congrats to all sleevers, banders and everybody who has made the decision to be a better you kudos!!!!!!!!!!

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I should be getting my date this week and after a 3 month waiting/dieting period...it finally happend. An "ex" (and yes, overweight) friend became the first person to actually say it to me. Well, in reverse.

"That's nice. I've actually been doing it the hard way. I've been hitting the gym 5 days a week and dieting. I've lost 17 pounds in 6 weeks".

Really? Right, and I've spent the last 3 months sitting around binge eating just waiting for the surgeon to come along and miraculously "trim" my stomach and all will be well. As a psychologist I understand jealousy (Actually, there was recently a research study released that found for every 7 pounds a person loses, they also lose a friend.) but I'm not sure I'll ever really understand how people who once claimed to have loved us or cared about us could actually be so cruel. .. guess it keeps me employed.

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Killing yourself would have been easier.... WOW you might want to get some help.

I think you need to go read RJ story before you make a comment like that. Depression, suicide, true survival, and the will to live are themes that are REAL for some people. Your comment feels a bit sarcastic and that is unacceptable on this forum.

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I should be getting my date this week and after a 3 month waiting/dieting period...it finally happend. An "ex" (and yes, overweight) friend became the first person to actually say it to me. Well, in reverse. "That's nice. I've actually been doing it the hard way. I've been hitting the gym 5 days a week and dieting. I've lost 17 pounds in 6 weeks". Really? Right, and I've spent the last 3 months sitting around binge eating just waiting for the surgeon to come along and miraculously "trim" my stomach and all will be well. As a psychologist I understand jealousy (Actually, there was recently a research study released that found for every 7 pounds a person loses, they also lose a friend.) but I'm not sure I'll ever really understand how people who once claimed to have loved us or cared about us could actually be so cruel. .. guess it keeps me employed.

What's this points out to me is that people somehow think that the "hard way" is somehow noble. Hard is not noble. Hard is hard. Sometimes what we want is at the end of a long hard path, sometimes what we want is a walk in the park. What matters, is that what we choose works for us. Everything else is just an interpretation.

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I have dieted for the better part of 20 yrs. To me i have never worked harder than i do now to lose the weight. I think its because i see the progress much more. I never went to the gym 5 days a week or paid so much attention to what i ate. Thsi may be the easier way because we have the help of not being able to stuff our faces but this has been the hardest "diet" i have ever been on. So anyone that says this is the easy way out has no room to talk unless they have walked that mile in our shoes!!

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So a friend at church approached me this morning and said "I hear you're having surgery. Is it the band or bypass?" Weird thing is I don't know how she knew because I have only told 1 person at church (well I guess then I do know how she knew). I told her bypass and she said "oh I talked to my doctor about surgery but she wants me to do it the hard way with diet and exercise."

Two things... This friend has no idea she is one of the reasons I looked into surgery. She is very overweight, unable to stand for long during choir practices and has diabetes and high blood pressure. I don't want to see myself in her situation in 5-10 years. Watching her struggle made me start to look into surgery.

And secondly, her doctor says she wants her to do it the hard way but in my friends case it will most likely never happen without surgery. Very sad

After she sees my great success, I will slip her the name of my surgeon and encourage her to ignore her primary doctor and go for a surgery consult and take the easy way out! Lol

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It's funny how people seem to think dieting is so easy. Just 'push away from the table, tubby'. You wouldn't tell a drug addict that it's easy to quit, just stop taking the drugs. Well guess what, you can quit drugs, and you never have to do them again. But you can't quit food. You still have to eat, three to six times a day. Good people don't offer recovering adicts drugs, but have no problem offering overweight or dieting people food. Why are we seen as weak willed and lazy. If we were addicted to drugs they would embrace us for trying to change.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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