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Funeral party vs. celebration of new you



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Someone suggested to me that I consider a one last blow out before the surgery, since I won't "get to" drink, or have pizza, or have.....

I then made an attempt to lovingly educate them as to what is really going on.

What happens at a funeral? Do you party with the person and then help them into the casket, followed by "so long, and thanks for all the fish" as you wave goodby?

No. A "funeral" is for those who have already passed.

The idea of a food funeral is absurd. As such, the last "hoo ha" might better be served to involve healthy food and conversation, which solidifies to friends and loved ones that they are with you NOW and HERE, pre and post op, in full support with your new lifestyle. It will solidify the idea as to how serious and what a COMMENDABLE decision that this was by your part. It will certify this decision by you to CHANGE in the eyes of others in your circle.

We need to consider shaping how we think before the surgery, as it will shape how the rubber meets the road afterwards.

It's not that I don't "get to" drink any more. I chose not to because this is a life change. If I am going to leave a way of life behind me and truly walk away, I am not going to bring trinkets with me, including the missing of booze or believing that it is important to any degree.

It's not that I don't "get to" gorge myself with pizza any more. If I am going to stop being a slave to food, I am going to break those chains before I even get into the surgery gown.

In fact, we have to let these things go ... truly part ways with them emotionally... BEFORE the surgery.

Using the "food funeral" analogy, is one night of partying with old ways really the way we want to "check out"? Do you really need that "one night stand"?

For me, I want to "go out" as I intend to be in my full, transformed and graceful self. I want to "go out" as a person who has succeeded in freeing himself of old ways, shedding pounds and horrific habits picked up by social trending and years of self denial, doing things because I believed they would comfort me or somehow make me feel special (or to fit in).

I think my "funeral" will have small Snacks not unlike what I will be eating hereto forward, and some nice tea. It will involve laughter, and every element that I want to have post op in my life.

It will have momentum...

Edited by cryss

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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