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Dating after Weight Loss Surgery

marysminute

By marysminute, in Singles Forum

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cutiepieinchi    158

cutiepieinchi
Posted

Most recent guy we talked on the phone for like 3 hours. He then texts me tells me he loves me...

Um wow!!

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CowgirlJane    14,261

CowgirlJane
Posted

I can't help but wonder if these dudes know what the word love means?

Most recent guy we talked on the phone for like 3 hours. He then texts me tells me he loves me...

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woo woo    872

woo woo
Posted

Some of the guys on these sites will deliberately "mess" with you -- sounds Weird but I promise you this is true. It can be a Good thing, in some cases. Others it just comes across as creepy and rightfully so. :P

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par1959    470

par1959
Posted

Interesting topic, as a guy I notice a lot of hold me, but dont touch me going on. I thank my lucky stars that I am not in the market for a mate.

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CowgirlJane    14,261

CowgirlJane
Posted

Interesting topic, as a guy I notice a lot of hold me, but dont touch me going on. I thank my lucky stars that I am not in the market for a mate.

I don't understand this statement.

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par1959    470

par1959
Posted

Many want a significant other, but have many reasons to not let one into their life. Hold me, dont touch me. I deal with people at work that also fall into this category, but on different issues. They will claim to really want something , but refuse to pay the price ( DO WHATS REQUIRED ON THEIR END) to have it.

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Zelda205    30

Zelda205
Posted

I've been wondering about some of these questions as well. Newly divorced and looking to step out there into the dating world. I've tried Christian Mingle too but it seems hard to get anyone to respond to smiles or winks or whatever. It just seems to be so "looks" oriented -- you have those couple of pictures that people look at before they ever get to the profile. I sit there trying to figure out if it's the weight or my short hair or 20 other factors that keep people from responding. And then I try to take a step back and say to myself "Self, you are a caring, loving, deserving person and you deserve someone who looks beyond the exterior and gets to know the real you." It takes a lot of positive self-talk and reframing... maybe I'll get it down someday...

I too am getting divorced if we ever find him... It's almost a year so I'm hoping after a year of absense it's over.. But anyway. I was on a site called " date hookup"! You put your radius in and what you are looking for. And it's free. I got many men to talk to.. Some were good and some were like.. Oh Dear, so glad you don't know where I love..lol I met some great guys. I was looking for someone that would help me on my weight loss journey.. I found a great guy that teaches yoga and tai chi and is So health conscious and eats Raw, organic as often as we can. It's like my prayers were really answered.

Dating before or after surgery is your choice ladies... But we deserve a man that treats us for who we are, big or small.. After all, we still have the same insides full of love to share. Good luck.. And be careful with meeting them in PUBLIC only!

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Zelda205    30

Zelda205
Posted

I found my guy thru a car club... we have the same kind of car and we met at a show... we were friendly, at first... things eventually changed...and I was over 300 pounds, so I never thought we'd be anything but friends (like everyone..major self esteem issues)... he is a lovely, lovely man and takes great care of me... I never thought I'd find anyone like that... so be patient and it will happen, I BELIEVE!!!! "Right in the middle of an ordinary life, Life hands you a Fairytale"

I love your quote..what kind of car do you both have! I have a 67 red mustang!

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CowgirlJane    14,261

CowgirlJane
Posted

Many want a significant other, but have many reasons to not let one into their life. Hold me, dont touch me. I deal with people at work that also fall into this category, but on different issues. They will claim to really want something , but refuse to pay the price ( DO WHATS REQUIRED ON THEIR END) to have it.

Ok this I agree with only I call them jaded. I was in that rut myself to some extent really wanting someone but then afraid of w ha t he might expect of me. It was a break through when I said to myself that I want someone and as long as I am honest about my "headspace" he can choose me or not... and I am good with that. It was about 2 weeks from my little epiphany that I met the.man I just started seeing.

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PRINCESSM    210

PRINCESSM
Posted

Okay yall I am in the middle of a "date" that is leaving me feeling like im being punked.

Second date after a couple months of scheduling conflicts.

Drove an hour as did he and upon arrival he said theres a work emergency so do I mind riding with him to take care of it. So I go. He drops me off at a fast food joint and says hes going across the street to take care of whatever this is. Im here 20 minutes and think I am about to call for a cab back to my car.

Im just dumbstruck. Possibly worst date ever. Lol at least he bought me an iced tea? Maybe thisll be easier post op.

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GottaDoSomethin'    31

GottaDoSomethin'
Posted

Okay yall I am in the middle of a "date" that is leaving me feeling like im being punked. Second date after a couple months of scheduling conflicts. Drove an hour as did he and upon arrival he said theres a work emergency so do I mind riding with him to take care of it. So I go. He drops me off at a fast food joint and says hes going across the street to take care of whatever this is. Im here 20 minutes and think I am about to call for a cab back to my car. Im just dumbstruck. Possibly worst date ever. Lol at least he bought me an iced tea? Maybe thisll be easier post op.

Oh my goodness! Definitely not third date material. I agree with calling a cab. Think of it as one less person you have to waste time dating before you find the one.

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Zelda205    30

Zelda205
Posted

Okay yall I am in the middle of a "date" that is leaving me feeling like im being punked. Second date after a couple months of scheduling conflicts. Drove an hour as did he and upon arrival he said theres a work emergency so do I mind riding with him to take care of it. So I go. He drops me off at a fast food joint and says hes going across the street to take care of whatever this is. Im here 20 minutes and think I am about to call for a cab back to my car. Im just dumbstruck. Possibly worst date ever. Lol at least he bought me an iced tea? Maybe thisll be easier post op.

I hope you are safe.. So what did you do?

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CowgirlJane    14,261

CowgirlJane
Posted

Wow

I like to hope this is legit. Let us know.

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Go To Topic Listing Singles Forum

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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