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Potluck success, why do we care what others think?



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Hi Everybody,

Last night I attended a potluck with friends and a couple strangers. At meal time I adorned my plate with little dabs of food in a circle. I was careful to avoid what I felt was potentially dangerous food to get stuck in my sleeve. No kale salad or Pasta. I was concerned what others might think or say. Do they even care? I cannot control what others think and my feelings are not facts. I kept quiet in the beginning and slowly ate the tiny amounts on my plate. Halfway through it looked like anyone else's half eaten plate. I rewarded myself with a small portion of fruit tart, minus the crust, for dessert. Then I forgot my instructions and sipped some coffee afterwards.

My point here is that we sometimes think we have power over other peoples brains and thoughts. We believe they pay attention to us closely while we just aren't that important in the big scale of a party. I'm at that point where my weight loss is noticeable but nobody mentioned it directly. A friend said "You're looking good today" which could have meant my outfit, hair or makeup. Sometimes I need to be right-sized and remember I'm not the center of the universe. I'm doing this for myself.

Thank you for allowing me to spout off.

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need to remember I'm not the center of the universe.

@@The Laughing Cat

welll put :)

before WLS - i would try and go to the gym

i always felt so awful/not confident in my clothes (and my body), while many others looked terrific :blink:

but someone told me "people are busy with their routines, not watching me"!!

sometimes hard to believe :wacko:

but it is true!!!!

i'm not the center of the universe either

well then again.......... :lol:

58 lbs gone!!! :)

new to onederland!!! :)

keep up the good job (i know you will) :)

meet you at the Water cooler, i'm buying :)

kathy

congrats

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The Laughing Cat,

Well said. I have to constantly remind myself--I'm in this for MYSELF. Everyone else is primarily concerned about themselves--so I need to focus on myself too! It's not what other people think about me that matters--It's how much I value myself. Overcomming decades of bad programming however, is a daunting task--I must admit.

Blessings to you,

Kathleen

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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