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Wishing I had told NO ONE!



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A friend and I were texting ..I told her II found this 21 day fix challenge I told her I was gonna get and we do it together and hold each other accountable.. She texted back and said that I may lose more than she will cause I had surgery. I'm thinking so what!! It's NOT a contest! Yes I had the surgery but it still takes work on my part! I still have to struggle and make good choices! Could I still eat junk and foods tht are not healthy..yes I can..and they will slide down just fine! Cake, chips, ice cream, french fries!!! But I DONT! Do I eat and drink to purposely overeating!! No I don't !! Could I ?? I certainly could!! But I'm making a very conscience effort to do better!!! I still have to use willpower and make good choices like anyone else in a diet! And I exercise!! I had actually gotten out of bed last night at 10;30 to exercise!! Didn't want to but made myself get up and do it!! Even with the band I feel like I have earned every pound I've lost!! Sorry...RANT OVER!!

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Delove32, sometimes you have to do things on your own. Everyone who say they are for you are not always for you. I have been wanting to have WLS for years now. Good luck on your journey.

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Try to explain to her what you've just said on this thread. If she still doesn't get it, you may need a little distance from this gal while you are focusing on your weight loss journey.

We know how hard you're working. You can always come here if you need support.

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Thanks everyone! I did explain to her that I struggle just like she does and that the lap band does nothing for your cravings and that it does not give you willpower!

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Chin up sweetie people are so judgemental it's unreal!! I got my band this day last week I'm my 31st bday I only told my hubby, mam and sister in law, a lot of my friends questioning why I'm not in work ect I have been telling a lot of white lies can't wait to start eating solids as it won't be as hard to keep my secret x

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I only told family, the nurse at work (who has since left; so I've told the current nurse), my boss at the time (who said he'd take my secret to his grave; it was very sweet) and some friends. I chose to not tell people at work and it has created lots of times where I have to say "Oh, I'm not very hungry" or "I don't like to stuff myself", if I am out with them. Everyone else has been pretty cool, so maybe my work people would have been, I just didn't want them to know. I am wishing I had told them; it would be much easier on me now. People shouldn't give us a hard time, because we had weight loss surgery. It is a great tool, but it is just that 'a tool'. They think it falls off like magic and sometimes it does move quick, but sometimes it doesn't. Hang in there.

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I agree that it is you having to do the work to lose the weight, you do have the advantage of the "tool". I believe I've lost by doing the things I need to do, but also believe that without the band it would have been much more difficult if not impossible. Face it, I've been at it a year, I've never stuck with any of my weight loss endeavors anywhere near this long. People aren't going to forget we have the tool and don't consider us to be on the same playing field.

I think I would focus more on convincing her that it's not a contest but a mutual support system than trying to convince her that you don't have an advantage

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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