I'll be going back to work next week, 8 weeks post-op. I've lost almost 60 lbs (25 pre op). I know my co-workers are going to be asking questions. It's none of their business. I'm not sure what to say to their inquiries. Any advice?

I have 2 weeks to decide what to tell people when I return from work. My boss knows, but no one else does.

My first instinct is to lie and justify that lie by telling myself this is a personal journey and none of anyone's business. But I keep coming back to honesty. I feel that my over eating had/has a lot to do with lying to myself. And I don't know if covering up my success here is a continuation of dishonesty.

for what it's worth I don't know what I will do in the end. I may give a false truth because I do believe my successes are no one else's business. Or I may tell the truth. The only thing I am certain of, is my psychiatrist is going to get $275 to help me make that decision. ☺

Well today is the day I go back to work...eight weeks post-op. I will see how it goes. I'm sure if everyone doesn't already know they will find out. I did tell some and my supervisor knew I was going out for surgery. My husband told the driver that delivers where he works. News travels fast at my job! So wish me luck!

I decided when my co workers ask, i will tell them. I think evenually they would find out anyway and then feel like i wasn't being honest with them. I'd rather tell them out right when they ask, then have them speculating behind my back. i figured what's really the point of not telling-because they may judge me?...no more than they may judge me for being overweight all this time....because they may be against me doing it?....too late, done, and my decision not theirs anyway. I lived in shame of what i weighed most of my life i refused to be ashamed of the path i chose to do something about it. I won't let it make me be less than honest with people. Also people just like me who i saw take a surgical path to weight loss long before me have inspired me to take this step and why shouldn't i let myself be one of those people to someone else.

I was only out for a week which was my spring break so it worked out great. I have only told a very few select people. When people comment or ask about my weight loss I simply say that I am eating a lot less and exercising 100% - the truth!

If I had had complications, I was prepared to say that I had my gallbladder removed:)

I have no problem telling people. My coworkers have been very supportive and a couple are even looking into having the surgery themselves. I'm the world's worst liar, can't ever keep track of what I've said...so honesty is the way to go for me

I just got divorced and I am rehearsing what to tell ppl. I came up with, "Why do you want to know?". That should work. Same for wls

I didn't tell a lot of people but most of my closer friends know. I have told a couple of people who have asked. What is interesting to me (as a slower loser, I guess) is that between not seeing people as much during the winter and the fact that this has happened gradually, I'm getting many more questions now than I was at 4-6 weeks. Mostly people want to know how much (about 60) but not what I'm doing. I don't know why. There are people to whom I simply reply "Quite a bit" when they ask me how much weight I've lost. Most of the time people tell me they love my new hair, or that they think I look younger or pretty. It's odd. (My hair is the same, btw, if a little thinner.)

You don't owe anyone an answer, when it comes down to it.

I just got divorced and I am rehearsing what to tell ppl. I came up with, "Why do you want to know?". That should work. Same for wls

Oh I would hope people wouldn't be rude enough to ask why you are getting a divorce! Id probably just say "ask him."

Just because people ask doesn't mean they have a right to know. We live in a society where everyone wants to share every minute of their exciting lives on social media, where people want to document their entire WLS experience on YouTube: that is fine for them. Great.

But whatever happened to discretion and privacy?

I am not telling anyone at work. Some of them think I had a hysterectomy with complications. Whatever. I lost twenty pounds in a month and not one person has mentioned it which is awesome.

The last time I announced I was trying to lose weight by going to WW meetings at work I just felt under the microscope and like some people wanted me to fail, others were jealous. I am not a circus act or a form of entertainment.

Just because everyone wants to be on TV talking about the intimate details of their lives doesn't mean we are required to disclose the details of ours to our acquaintances.

I did tell most everyone in my department pre-surgery. Just as a heads up.. " I am having surgery to alleviate future health issues which was recommended by my provider, etc..

Yes, it is true, they will talk anyways.. just ignore it. Most need something to gossip about and this is a target topic. I told a co-worker when I got back, that had not previously known.. I later walked in on a conversation that she was having with someone about my surgery. She was embarrassed that I caught her gossiping. Most are pretty quiet now. It has been 6 weeks and we are moving on.

I tell them I'm on the Model C Diet...Coffee, Cocaine and Cigarettes.

They usually laugh and don't ask anymore questions.

Oh I would hope people wouldn't be rude enough to ask why you are getting a divorce! Id probably just say "ask him."

Just because people ask doesn't mean they have a right to know. We live in a society where everyone wants to share every minute of their exciting lives on social media, where people want to document their entire WLS experience on YouTube: that is fine for them. Great.

But whatever happened to discretion and privacy?

I am not telling anyone at work. Some of them think I had a hysterectomy with complications. Whatever. I lost twenty pounds in a month and not one person has mentioned it which is awesome.

The last time I announced I was trying to lose weight by going to WW meetings at work I just felt under the microscope and like some people wanted me to fail, others were jealous. I am not a circus act or a form of entertainment.

Just because everyone wants to be on TV talking about the intimate details of their lives doesn't mean we are required to disclose the details of ours to our acquaintances.

Completely agree!

I've had good experiences with the people I've told so far.

My kids are like "whatever..." (23, 20 and 14). My ex-husband offered to drive me if needed (I only told him because I knew the kids would).

I told my best friend and she's going to drive me (no -- I wouldn't let the ex do that). Even though she's told me she wishes I could try other more natural, holistic approaches to weight loss, she's 100% supportive of ME making MY decision. Gotta love that in a friend.

Told one other friend and she just asked questions like "what does it entail", "how much weight would you expect to lose" and "what's the recovery like." I chose to tell these friends because I know that they are non-judgemental and that while they may offer an opposing opinion, they also know me well enough to know I make good decisions and they are supportive.

I'm planning to tell 2 people at work -- specifically because they are my "candy bowl" people. They even leave candy on my desk some days if they know I'm having a very stressful day. They are also good friends and might not 'like' what I'm doing but I'm pretty sure they won't try to dissuade me. And, they won't let me have candy from their bowls anymore or leave any on my desk.

I agree it's a personal decision and probably driven a lot by your personality. I'm not very good at "fudging" the truth and would rather just be honest and put it out there. But, I don't plan on telling a lot of people beforehand because I honestly don't want their opinions. I'm not letting my decision about surgery be based on popular opinion.

I told my boss and a few specific co-workers in my department. In my workplace, it is inevitable that people in my department need to know to adjust my patient schedule and such...

I decided long ago that this is MY journey and don't really care to hear anybody's negative comments, stories, opinions or other.

I also cannot lie if I am asked, so if I am asked post-op, I will be forthcoming but don't plan to share any details.

I also told my parents and a few close friends at my kid's school.

I feel like I have shared all I want to share, and with everybody i care to share with.I work in a great place though, and for the most part I would expect people to be supportive, but I guess this is just a very personal journey.

Edited April 29, 201412 yr by mi75

The problem with telling a few select people about WLS is that they never keep it to themselves. They will tell one or two people who tell one or two people more and then they tell one or more people. You then have people watching every bite you eat, watching every pound you lose or gain, and many of them secretly hope that you fail. A few years out if you gain a few pounds they secretly feel elated that you had surgery for weight loss and can't keep it off. Who needs that additional pressure? I am not a big social media person as far as sharing my life for all to see so the thought process of sharing personal medical details with people who don't have a need to know is just silly. I do share on this forum because we are all in the same boat and offer the same support without fear of judgment or betrayal. On the outside...it's not that safe.

The problem with telling a few select people about WLS is that they never keep it to themselves. They will tell one or two people who tell one or two people more and then they tell one or more people. You then have people watching every bite you eat, watching every pound you lose or gain, and many of them secretly hope that you fail. A few years out if you gain a few pounds they secretly feel elated that you had surgery for weight loss and can't keep it off. Who needs that additional pressure? I am not a big social media person as far as sharing my life for all to see so the thought process of sharing personal medical details with people who don't have a need to know is just silly. I do share on this forum because we are all in the same boat and offer the same support without fear of judgment or betrayal. On the outside...it's not that safe.

I am older than a lot of you and I know a lot more than most of you. For sure, working 47 years I am not naive. Even today, when I ask my husband something in regards to diabetes to help someone here, my husband questions my posting. I resist the urge not to share, because this is our lives we are dealing with and I want to help anyone I can, irregardless of the fact that we had surgery and he decided it is no one's business but ours. We do have a right to our privacy, but I am trying to help anyone I can here. People can be terribly cruel, especially co-workers. Not worth telling them my business, in my opinion. Go talk about someone else LOL!