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Learning by doing



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When I started the band process in September last year, I didn't know how much work it would be on my part. I just knew it was the least invasive of the three surgeries. As I went through the pre-op protocol and was told to change my snacking habits or else the psychologist wouldn't clear me for surgery, I got really ticked off. How dare he? Well, I turned the anger into action. When I did that (gave up tv eating) I then understood why he said that. It required discipline! Of course, if I wouldn't stop tv snacking every night, I wasn't going to have success with a band. I didn't know that but he did. I guess I thought everything would just magically change for me without any pain on my part.

Once I changed that snacking habit, I began to believe what they all kept saying, which was that this process was only going to be as successful as the effort I put into it.

I had the same negative instant reaction to the post-op liquid diet. When the surgeon told me it was six weeks, not four weeks, of post-op liquids, I was mad and aggravated. When he further told me to reduce my post-op calories from 1000 to 800, I again got mad and wanted to rebel. When the nurse coordinator told me I had to walk a treadmill every day starting one day post-op and build up to a 2-mile walk every day, I nearly croaked.

I think on some level I expected to treat these like suggestions, or guidelines, that were great for other people, but no biggie if I chose not to do them. After all, I'm special, you know. I have arthritis. I'm really fat and I get out of breath. I have hunger issues. I really like food. I'm not in this for the beauty or vanity aspects, just for health reasons, so there's no problem if my weight loss takes a little longer.

But instead of giving in to those excuses about my uniqueness (!), I followed all of the rules. Only by following them did my understanding of how this works transform from theory into understanding and acceptance. Sure, I read the book, I researched all this, I "knew" all these things back in September, six months before I was banded. But I didn't really learn them until I did them. I have experiential knowledge of these things now. I feel better because I exercise. That one blows my mind. My knees still hurt, but I feel BETTER when I exercise. Sweating and panting do not destroy me. I walked in the forest preserve with my college-age daughter yesterday and she told me I hit my target heart rate. Huh? She said we were walking and talking, and I was slightly out of breath the whole time, but able to carry on a conversation, so that meant I was exercising at a good pace . For an hour. Amazing. Six months ago, heck, four months ago, I never got off the couch.

Eating differently is huge. I'm on liquids for 5 more days and then I finally move to regular foods. I'm dreaming constantly of what I'll eat. I want steak, I want lobster, I want three Jimmy John's sandwiches in one sitting. I want, I want, I want. What I will do instead is make a scrambled egg on Thursday morning and I'll probably be in heaven. Then I'll probably have a Protein shake at work for lunch because dinner will be at a restaurant with my friend before our exercise class. I'll probably have a few bites of some meat or fish and a veggie. Not three Jimmy John's sandwiches. Not a ribeye. Not a burger.

The next phase is what some people call bandster hell. I'll get a first fill, but have to keep a good eating discipline while the months go by and I work toward the correct number of fills for my green zone. I WANT to wolf three Jimmy John's sandwiches, but I WILL practice eating slowly and chewing thoroughly and keeping portions small. I won't drink while eating. This will all be new behavior because I haven't chewed in 7 weeks, have only consumed liquids so far, and haven't slowed myself down too well yet. It will be my next big challenge.

Thank you, people of this board, who post your experiences and teach me how living as a bander works and doesn't work. And that's how I approach all of this. What works and what doesn't work. My actions for 52 years didn't work. This year that all changes, because I'm following the directions for what does work. It gets a little easier every day.

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Thank you for sharing that story it sounds similar to mine. I am really struggling right now with bandster hell. I just seem to be eating way to much daily and at this point nothing has made me sick. I have to remember that right now this is a diet to still until I get the fills I need. I never wanted to be on a diet again...well thanks again for sharing and keeping other people inspired.

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it is hard when there is really no restrictions like it is as we first start off...but soon I hope that we all get there and we are all in the green zone really soon!!! thank you justwatchme...well said!!! :)

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Ribeye might be problematic but tenderloin chews up nicely and passes the stoma easily for me. I miss my occasional 12" Subway turkey on whole wheat with the works on it. I tried a six incher and no way. Too much bread.

Mexican food is the easiest for me to consume if we're going out for dinner and I feel like a little calorie cheating. Chinese not so much. Italian is hit and miss, mostly miss. Seafood is by far the easiest to eat.

LOL...For you, this will be like getting married and waiting 6 weeks to consummate the marriage :blush: What do they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? You have my total respect as I don't think I could have done what you've done. Kudos :)

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Tmf, yes that's a good analogy! You cracked me up. Yes, you could have done this. Most of us can do anything for a finite amount of time. Once, anyway. One of my biggest fears is a band slip or unfill and having to start again. That's enough to keep me on track right there. Once I get my food, it's gonna take a heck of a lot to wring it from my grasp. Oh, and don't misunderstand my ribeye comment. I will have steak again. Just not on day one, and it will probably be divided into three or four meals. Thanks for the kind words from everyone. It means a lot.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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