Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I feel like i'm lying to people!



Recommended Posts

Now that the weather is breaking, I have been running into more people that I haven't seen in a while. When they comment on my weight loss, I just thank them and say I have been learning to eat better and am careful about what I eat. I have only told a few family members and very close friends. I feel that this is a private matter and it really doesn't matter how I lose the weight, only that I am becoming a more healthy person. No one has really pressed me on any other details.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't tell folks that I don't want to know that I had the lap band...I tell them I have done what I had to do to get healthy and leave it at that. its funny how some people do react when you tell them the truth I had a person who had this surgery and lost alot of weight told me she'd be here for me, but is no longer...so even some that have had the surgery and have gotten to their goals forget about the struggle. hang in there rigonj...you sound like you have it together and your right not everyone does need to knowabout the surgery...that's your business. glad to have read your post...thanks!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only people who know about my surgery are my husband and my friend. I avoided my mother for over two weeks after I was banded. She lives nearby, and has no idea what I've been through. I don't want to share my secret just yet. Maybe after I lose 100 pounds I'll tell my family. But, other people, I may never tell them. My weight has been a public struggle for me, even when I was skinny and in college. I was always fair game to talk about, "She lost weight", "oh, she gained it all back," as well as people always felt that they had to share their latest diet with me and suggestions. My grandmother was the worst, "You have such a pretty face. Don't you want to be attractive to boys?" I was barely overweight then!

I'm not ashamed that I had to get banded. It took me many years of research and discussion before I made this decision. It is SO not the easy way out! I still have cravings, and my band is nowhere near the green zone yet. It's a lot of willpower.

Don't feel badly about omitting the lap band from your story to people. It's none of their business. Would you be telling everyone about a personal surgical procedure? That is what this is. You needed this surgery for your health. You have lost an incredible amount of weight using your willpower and better habits! As for your best friend's mother-in-law...I can't write what my response to her would have been in this forum. LOL!

Yes! I feel like you and I have very very similar stories.

My boyfriend, mother, and one close friend are all that know...

When I was in the 8th grade, I had met my aunt for the first time and the FIRST THING SHE EVER SAID TO ME WAS, "Take it from me sweety, just stop eating." My grandpa used to tell me that I would have to not buy 2 seats on the plane, but the entire plane... and when he introduced me to people, he would tell them that they lost me once when I was younger, but later found me hiding in the refrigerator eating all of their food. This never happened, he just thought it was a funny way to introduce me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My moms step mom was the same way towards me my whole life. As well as my mom. She doesn't remember now (she suffers from dementia) how mean she was to me growing up so now when she says I look great I just say thank you. I knew that people would be happy for me with my weight loss but I guess I never expected the negative feed back from "jealous" people. I actually had someone privately message me the other day telling me my glasses are too big for my face and the lipstick I wear is to dark and she's not trying to hurt my feeling but she "had" to tell me. She's quite a bit older than me and has kids only a couple years younger than me, I'm not sure what she has to be jealous about. I just thought it was extremely rude.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A friend of mine who had the sleeve and looks absolutely amazing told me this when I shared I had the band. She said you hesitate to share with people because they are waiting to see you fail and if you don't lose weight as quickly or you lose it too quickly or gain some back the haters are in the wings waiting to say I told you so. I had told some people but not the work people. They don't need to know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

some very hateful people out there...I chose to think of them as those with problems...if someone finds out that I have had the lap band and they are negative people and I hear someone say anything negative I confront them and ask them and what's your problem? because I don't have a problem anymore I have a new journey to travel and you are not welcome on it! I have learned that no matter how old they may be-negative is not anything I need to be dealing with right now...I need to move forward. that maybe rude but my mother always told me to be honest and that's about as honest as I can get without being so rude...LOL!!! hang in there folks you all are marvelous folks and we are on this WLS journey all together...we will be here for each other since some in our lives are evil human beings!!! God bless.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×