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Laurend: You are right!!!

Maybe is not society the one imposing certain standards on us, maybe is us as women. We feel that we have to impress other women, not exactly our own man or other man, but OTHER women.

I have three brothers. My brother was saying: Where you girls see a big butt, we see beautiful curves. Where you see a "fat" girl we see a voluptuous woman."You girls think that you know exactly what man like, and the reality is that is you women the ones that are so freaking hard on each other".

So are we bad to each other or what?? I have tons of acquintances but only one best friend. Growing up my best friend was a guy.

Your brother has it right.

Not many guys I know like STICKS. :biggrin1:

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I used to dress (and I don't mean "get dressed", I mean dress) before I gained the weight. But when I was at or near my highest, you wouldn't have caught me dead in a pair of heels. For one, because I looked ridiculous in anything you would wear heels with. Even jeans. For two, my shoe size had gone up to a 12 and sometimes a 13. Good luck finding a cute heel in that size. And if you do manage, it's going to be plastic. And it is harder to walk in heels when you're heavier. It went from second nature, to oh my gumby my feet are killing me! And situational depression, and I just quit caring. Ugh! I really hit a low. I remember once, after our house was built and we were making plans to occupy, I had to stop by the realtor's office to pick up the key. Our realtor wasn't there, but one of her coworkers I'd never met was. When I told her I needed the key to the house, she asked why. I said, "So we can start moving in...?" And she was like, "Oh! You're the owner? I thought you were the cleaning lady."

I'm still a big handful of sizes from my "ideal" size, but I've picked it up. I'm back in heels, actually styling my hair, and actually putting togeter outfits. Doing all the things I abandoned as the weight packed on. I forgot how fun accessories can be!

And in my case, I'm not trying to attract a man. I've been married for (going on) 10 years. To me, when I wear nice things, I feel good. I feel human. I still don't feel attractive, and that's ok - because feeling good is enough. I do believe that how you present yourself can completely impact how you feel. It's hard to wear a nice, well put-together outfit, know you look nice, and still feel crappy. I lost touch with feeling good about myself for a long time. It's hard to feel good when you don't even feel human. And I'm loving getting back into it. :)

Speaking of, Avenue has some pretty cute dresses this season. I'm thinking about picking this up. It surprisingly looked really cute on (except for my flabby arms - can you say "cover up"?)

post-205294-1381313481317_thumb.jpg

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I still don't feel attractive, and that's ok - because feeling good is enough.

How can you even think that??? You are the cutest thing going on at LBT. Your avitar reminds me of Annie Potts (whom I dearly LOVE).

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:phanvanI am not trying to get anything started. I know that the RN is not a very popular bandster, but I do have to say that the CD's that she sells have been very helpful to me. I have horrible insomnia and bought some relaxation CD's that cost a whole lot more than the ones that she sells. I believe that her package has 5 or 6 for less money than I paid for one CD

that I have bought online.

My surgeon made me go to counseling before I could get banded. The therapist really stressed that self hypnosis is a very helpful tool along with the band to help with stress eating. I checked out several people who helped with eating and they all charged in the range of $75 per hour. Those

CD's are geared towards bandsters and I love listening to them. I can be having a bad day and all I want to do is run to the Dairy Queen, and then I lay down and listen to one of them instead, and I am motivated to eat properly and follow the rules for the rest of the day. I have to say, they have saved me from overeating junk food on more than one occasion.

Anyway, she may have been banned from several boards, and I know she comes across as a big no it all, but I have to say, I really do like those CD's. I hope I don't end up with another big bunch of posts against

what I have said. I am just trying to say that I appreciate the fact that those CD's were available to me when I needed help. I try to fall asleep to one of them every night. I hope I am not sorry for posting this! I am not one to be a trouble maker.

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Anyway, she may have been banned from several boards, and I know she comes across as a big no it all, but I have to say, I really do like those CD's. I hope I don't end up with another big bunch of posts against what I have said. I am just trying to say that I appreciate the fact that those CD's were available to me when I needed help. I try to fall asleep to one of them every night. I hope I am not sorry for posting this! I am not one to be a trouble maker.

I'm happy for you that they work. Sometimes it is really hard to find what works for you. That 'trick' of what works for each person is hard to find at times. You are the first person I have seen that said the CDs work. Everyone else feels they are a waste of money.

It is extremely unlikely that I would ever give Sandy a penny. Her misrepresentation of the facts, the game playing, the power issues, the control issues, the horrible attitude, and the way she treats others is a big factor. She does not deserve my business. I wouldn't purchase products from someone in real time if they are a Sandy-wannabe, why would anyone put up with it on line?

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I hope I am not sorry for posting this! I am not one to be a trouble maker.

Denise...

You post anything you like. You are just as entitled to share your opinion as the rest of us.

I bought some great self-hypnosis tapes years ago and they were not expensive. I got them at the health food store. I became so addicted to the guy's voice, I could not go to sleep without a tape player and headphones available!

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Denise...

You post anything you like. You are just as entitled to share your opinion as the rest of us.

I bought some great self-hypnosis tapes years ago and they were not expensive. I got them at the health food store. I became so addicted to the guy's voice, I could not go to sleep without a tape player and headphones available!

I never thought to look at the health food store for self hynosis tapes. I have such a hard time falling asleep and it's such a big problem in my life. I find it easier to listen to something like that than to let my mind race when it's time to fall asleep. I googled insomnia and there were a lot of web sites selling CD's that were really expensive. We only have one health food store in this rinky dink town I live in, but I will look there. thanks!:)

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The CD's have several tracks to them. If I set it to the relaxation and skip the beginning, there are relaxation techniques to follow. There is one CD in the set that is made for using to fall asleep at night. I like them. I have others where the person's voice is so annoying, the last thing they would do is relax me. This lady's voice is pretty soothing. It's not the RN's voice either. This lady is a hypnotherapist.

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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