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Just found out my husband is trying to cheat!



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I had two kids with my husband before we got married. He also has a daughter that is six weeks younger than our second child. The mother of that one was his brothers girlfriend. I was stupid enough to believe that he was sorry and married him. We had one more child in 1998 and then I discovered he was cheating again when she was 2 months old. Got divorced and have been single since then. I am much happier alone than I was with someone who treated me like shit. I have been focusing on raising my kids. I am now at a point in my life that I may be ready to start dating again. But also given a recent betrayal by my male former best friend. I am not so sure. Don't know if I can ever trust a man again.

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This sure is a hot button topic. First of all, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I truly hope you don't allow this situation to impede your weight loss. I know a lot of times significant others can have feelings of being left behind when the other is making changes to become healthier and may even fear that you, yourself, might find someone else. I'm by no means condoning his behavior.

With today's social media and technology it is becoming easier and easier for people to enter into non-physical affairs and what are now being called "emotional" affairs. I think it will do you both good to begin therapy to understand what the underling issues are. I truly wish you the best of luck in whatever the outcome may be.

And remember you have us all on here to vent to when you need a shoulder to cry on or a screen to scream at!

Best Wishes!

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That other woman is fulfilling a void. Speak to him about how he feels what you both can do to be better. Also when you go looking for trouble, you almost always find it.

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That other woman is fulfilling a void. Speak to him about how he feels what you both can do to be better. Also when you go looking for trouble, you almost always find it.

I don't like this way of thinking. "She" may be filling a void, but that doesn't mean the wife is responsible for the fact that the man she married feels no love, respect, or responsibility for his wife. He is not a little boy, there are dire consequences to his actions, and his choices are not the fault of his wife. They are seeking marriage counseling, that's the best thing they can do.

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I don't like this way of thinking. "She" may be filling a void, but that doesn't mean the wife is responsible for the fact that the man she married feels no love, respect, or responsibility for his wife. He is not a little boy, there are dire consequences to his actions, and his choices are not the fault of his wife. They are seeking marriage counseling, that's the best thing they can do.

I'm not saying she is responsible. It something in him. I'm just saying speak to him. See what's going on in his mind. Then from there make the best decisions for her and her children.

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Thanks everyone! We are in therapy! He knows he messed up, and I know we are not perfect! Thanks for the concern!

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Hope things are going well for you.

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Thanks, things are going well.

So happy for you! I know exactly how it is, but now after 4 years I am happy I did not follow my first instincts. We are happier than ever! I have a lovely family! I do not have many 'friends' now but I am more happy like this. I wish you all the best and be patient !

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    • LeighaTR

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      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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