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Telling people Im having weight loss surgery.



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My surgery is march 20th. I'm kind of an open book and I have told people that I'm having the sleeve. As I expected some were excited for me, some were polite, and some close concerned friends tried to talk me out of it. Like I said I expected all of this. But some people have been downright rude. Today I went to get baseline bloodwork done. The staff at my lab know me due to my other illnesses. So the lab technician was commenting that this is not the usual test that I get. So I told her it's because I'm having weight loss surgery. She actually said "oh no!" Than told me a horror story of someone she knows who had it done, who is very sick now. I was polite and said oh that's ashame. Then she asked me if I have tried diet and excercise. Ummm no, never even crossed my mind! I remained polite and stated that I crossfit three times a week.

It just really annoys me that people make assumptions about me because of my weight. I'm sure you all have similar stories.

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My date is March 20th also (assuming my insurance approval comes through - it was submitted yesterday). I struggle with the same thing. I don't want to lie about having it and am not ashamed to tell people that I had weightloss surgery but I have no idea how to handle the comments I get. I even had one person tell me, they had a friend of a friend of a friend who had ta sleeve and grew a second stomach. What can you say to that except that they need to do some research before they say ignorant things. I'm just left shaking my head….

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Ugh ignorance is annoying.

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I started the program last year and quit. I just started up again and have decided not to tell anyone about it until after I have the surgery. Only two people know, my husband and a girl I met at the weight loss seminar. I came to this decision because my mother in law was constantly nagging me about that dangerous stomach surgery and my Bff is always trying to convince me to save my money because I can lose 184 pounds in no time by going to the gym. She doesn't realize I just had my sixth back surgery and I really can't do any exercise besides walking. She only needs to lose like 30 pounds. Trying to explain to her that when you are morbidly obese weight loss on your own is not the easiest of tasks.

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I wish I was as open as you, I've been super picky about who I tell and some people (my mother) don't understand why. Its because people are mean and most don't understand unless they have been in your shoes.

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I have had some people say positive and some negative from friends and family. I tell the negative ones... Thank you for your comments and concerns, but I'm not doing this for you.. I am doing this for me.

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I am also telling a few PPL. I feel that everyone thinks it's easy to go to the Gym and work it off but it's not. Everyone does what they feel is right and if our choice is this then so be it. We'll meet y'all in the gym.

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My family was all for wls in the beginning, but once they realized I got realllly serious about it, they went into panic mode. As a matter of fact, they told encourage me to look into it. Since a family friend had great success with it. But now the family friend is obsessed with losing more weight. And my family said she looks sickly and unhealthy

Plus she looks like she aged 10-15yrs..I know it's coming from a place of love and concerned. I have already made up my mind. Praying to God he protect me during surgery and post-op, and for a speedy recovery. My mom even said she's willing to pay for a personal trainer for me..and I'm not big enough for surgery. (240lbs)..smh..they know all to well how my self esteem is soooooo low cause of my weight..my mom even told me a coworker in her job had wls & her husband left her cause she got so sickly and unhealthy looking. She said she's afraid my husband will feel the same if I look sickly. That really hurts!

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I'm having surgery March 20, too! I'm not telling ANYONE except my mom. I'm in law enforcement and work in an office full of dudes that gossip like old ladies! Luckily I currently live far away from my family and friends so I'm just going to sneak off this island for 10 days. I've already started cleaning up my diet so once the weight starts coming off I'll attribute it to clean eating and exercise- which will be true! ;)

I only see my family and friends once a year at most so next time I go home it'll be a shock.

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Tomorrow is my surgery and as recent as yesterday my boss asked me if I was really sure this surgery is what I wanted to do. UGH!!! I think he has good intentions but just shut up please.

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I'm scheduled for the 21st. I have only told my parents, husband, and kids. They all support my decision. I don't want the judgement from people who really don't know me and don't walk in my shoes. This is not an easy decision to make. I believe a majority of us are not doing this for vanity, it's about are health.

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Almost everyone in my close circle has been supportive of the surgery. One friend had legitimate concerns and she expressed them politely. It's the people outside of my circle who have been a problem.

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A lot of people are idiots and have no clue about WLS. It never even occurred to me to tell anyone outside of DH and my grown kids. Doubt I ever will. That's just me. My medical history is private. I have no patience for morons who say stupid things like "have you ever tried diet and exercise." Sheesh.

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Those of you who are not telling people, what do you plan to say when you get asked a million times about how you did it?

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I find it hard to hide because I work in surgery where I'm gonna to have my procedure done. I was reluctant to tell people. But the people that know have been very nice and supportive. I'm grateful. In the end it's only what matters to you and how you feel. Stay strong and tell whomever you want. It's def all your choice. Just don't let anyone make you feel like you're making the wrong decision, it's yours and only you know if it's right for you. :-) best of luck.

Edited by SliminDownThick

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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