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I need a pep talk



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:think Hi everyone,

Okay, so I went for my first appointment with the surgical center and everyone was terrific. The nurse, psychiatrist and nutritionist all thought I'd be a great candidate for the band. I have a goal of 8 lbs to lose in the next 6 weeks (piece of cake - well actually no more cake!) and if I do, they'll schedule the surgery.

Problem is, my stupid insurance won't cover it. It's an exclusion so I'm completely out of luck. I'm going to appeal but my chances aren't good. I am thinking about taking a loan from my 401K but I feel so selfish. It will be $18000 for everything (pre-op, op, post-op and 2 fills) to get started and I don't feel right spending so much money. Part of me says "stop being weak and just try (again) to lose the weight yourself" and the other part of me says "if you want to live a long life, and see your kids grow up you HAVE to do this." I really don't know what to do. I'm so sad right now.....

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Hey,

I had your same situation. I was banded on 2/23/07 and paid about $18,000 (it all came out of my husband's bonus which we had planned to use on debt and/or home improvements). I felt a little guilty, but on the other hand, I know my 4 kids would like to have a happy healthy Mom a lot more than a deck or finsihed basement (or in the case of the 401K, not living long enough to need it!!). You are probably doing this for your whole family, not just yourself and I know in my case, I wasn't going to lose it on my own, period.

I really don't even think about it anymore. I've put us in more of a financial bind, but I know everyone will be thankful if/when I am successful. I feel lucky that I even had the means to do this. I say go for it, but that's just my opinion.:)

Gretchen

Banded 2/23/07

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Cyndi, you will be okay. Think about all the positive side effects of being banded. $18k is a lot of money but your health is worth much more. I would go for it. Have you thought a out going to Mexico or Denver. There are great doctors there that do the surgery for a fraction of the cost. You just need to get a follow up doctor in your area that will do the fills. Good luck.

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Thanks for the support.

I did consider going to Mexico or Colorado but I'm scared. I also have Multiple Sclerosis and I want to make sure I'm close to home in case something happens.

I know you're right, I should do it. I'm really not just doing it for me - you're right. It's as much for my husband and kids as it is for me. I still feel selfish though. Sort of like I've failed and now I'm making them pay.

You are totally right though, I need to do this. I want to get healthy.

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I too felt guilty about spending that much money on myself. I paid half in cash from a small inheritence and half I borrowed. It took me awhile to decide, but I finally came to the decision that I am worth it. People buy houses and cars for themselves all the time, why not this? With the other part of my inheritence, I went back to grad school, also instead of a car or house-in fact I moved back in with my mother to lessen my expenses. I also thought about all the money I had spent trying to lose weight and all the money I have spent eating too much crap. I also decided I would have to give up a few things and just tighten my belt-but what ever I had to do, I finally convinced myself I was worth it. Now in all honesty I am a single woman without kids, so I know priorities can be different when you are raising a family. As far as Mexico-4 people my mother works with went to mexico and only one person has had the band work as it should. Two got infections and one just never followed up on fills or aftercare. The dr I went to charged 17000 for everything and anything that might go wrong. If you pay 8500 in Mexico you will still have to find a dr here and pay for every checkup and procedure that may arise, so I think that Mexico is not always the bargin it is cracked up to be. Anyway, make sure you do a lot of research and monitor this board often before you make a decision-I trolled this board for months before I actually made my decision. Good Luck

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Cyndi,

Not sure where you are located but in Houston we have one of the nations top surgeons (Spivak) for lap banding and he charges $12,900 for everything. The nurse told me most patients fly home the next day. I am a self pay too & handing over that 13K of hard earned money was tough but I am confident it will be worth it. Good luck with your jorney.

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Cyndi,

I was banded in Mexico last year but my fill doctor is in Dallas. He is doing the surgery for $10500.00. His name is Dr. Maese, he is with Complete Bariatrics of Dallas. I don't know where you are located but that is a great price even if you have to fly, and it will be easier to find a fill doctor in your area willing to fill you if you have been banded in the US.

Valarie

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cyndi,

to add to what shineone said..i just had surgery with spivak yesterday

he was part of the FDA trials in texas (the only one) and the first to perform here. he has taught many of the surgeon's in texas.

he is very scientific ....re: your MS

where are you located?

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Hey there...I have read the posts and encouraging words that everyone has posted for this lovely lady. I think that the one that rings so true for me is ....you have to be here to enjoy your 401K....I think when you compare the advantage to the 18K that you are spending on your tool, it doesn't compare to the 401K money. This is an investment in your life, retirement will happen no matter what, weightloss needs some coaching. If you are in need of being banded for the best quality of life that you can acquire then I think you should buck up and do it. No more excuses, you are worth 18k and alot more.....in my humble opinion, we do this for ourselves, we do it for our health and our lives, its worth it. BTW I am a single mom, 3 kids and was self pay....I hear your pain.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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