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Food Funerals



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Was just reading a preop thread and came across people talking about scheduling food binges/funerals before surgery. Reading about it now, I'm wondering, if you did/didn't do this how has your thinking about that behavior changed now?

Just to be clear, I understand the function of this behavior, so I'm not asking for an explanation as to why ppl do it but how you see it in hindsight.

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My personal experience has been that bingeing pre-op is an extremely bad idea. People will make up the excuse that "I'll never be able to have that again, so I better have it now!". THIS IS NOT TRUE. You absolutely can have anything you want to eat post op. The only differences will be that you can't eat as much AND you are just tacking on more pounds you will eventually have to fight for after surgery. You're only hurting yourself by doing this.

I have had two WLS's. I did have the food binge before my lap band. Then a few months later I realized that it was all for naught because I can and did still eat those foods. In fact, I could eat more of that stuff than the good healthy food. They're called "sliders" for a reason. You won't get full on them. Then with my revision to the VSG I absolutely did NOT indulge pre-op. I already knew I had to go in with the right ideas about food.

For anyone reading this, change that attitude. This surgery will save your life, but only if you get your mind right.

Edited by LilMissDiva

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I saw no need to memorialize or indulge enough to last a lifetime before my surgery. I had recognized my overeating as my mortal enemy and saw no need to party in honor of him.

In hindsight I could have had a food funeral. I would have loaded up an old boat with donuts, chips, Pork rinds, velveeta, Cookies, cakes, and candy...poured the contents of the fat fryer on it...set it on fire...shoved it out into the lake...played Bjork music.....Viking funeral... :rolleyes:

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I had food funerals - I didn't binge. Bingeing in the true sense of the word, is a destructive behavior. My food funerals were more, "Let's to to Ciao Mambo for dinner tonight" or "Let's have some barbecue" I didn't overeat when I did it.

BUT, now that I look back, the food funerals were not necessary. I could care less if I ever go back to Ciao Mambo for dinner. The thought of sitting down to a huge bowl of Pasta doesn't interest me in the slightest. And that bread that I used to devour - blah, I don't want it. (Prior to surgery if someone told me I wouldn't care about bread I would have called them crazy!)

One thing you'll learn after surgery is food won't have a strangle hold on you any longer. I used to think about food all the time. When am I going to eat again? What are we having for dinner? What is there to snack on? Now, I eat because my body needs fuel to operate - I can seriously eat turkey lunchmeat and cheese every day for lunch. It does not matter to me. My husband asks what I want for dinner...I say, "I seriously do not care. Make something with Protein and I'll be fine or I'll have a shake." I'm not saying I don't enjoy good food - I do. I just don't think about it all the time. I don't crave it all the time.

I agree with Diva above - change the mindset. It's not a funeral - you're not saying goodbye forever, maybe it's so long for a little bit. I can still have pizza - one of my favorite pre-op foods. But now, I make a pizza with a carb balance tortilla, pizza sauce, turkey pepperoni and cheese. My husband actually requests me to make that rather than order out.

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I was so damn "over it" by the time I was sleeved. I was more worried about avoiding my own "real funeral" too young then I cared about what I couldn't eat. I think my state of mind was such that if someone told me how i could be healthy and never have to eat again I would have accepted it.

That is not to say I don't enjoy food, because I do now. The difference is that MOST of the time, I enjoy it appropriately. food needs to not just be appealing/taste good, it also needs to make me feel good and healthy. This mindset has helped me alot staying away from some old favorites like ice cream. It does not make me feel good so I no loner enjoy it - thank goodness for the sleeve. I just don't care that much about food as pleasure... there are alot of things in life that give me pleasure so food has moved to a more appropriate catagory.

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I knew I would eventually be able to eat small quantities of whatever I wanted occasionally, so no food funerals for me. I did eat some of my favorite foods and have drinks a few times. But not enough to gain weight preop.

Lynda

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I initially felt sad reading about their plans. Then I realized for so many people it's a part of the change process. Then I was wondering how it has changed over the months and years for the majority of vets. I wondered how people who had funeral or binges leading up to surgery *struggle* with food post op over time. Or if like some of you said, I eat to live; not live to eat.

My relationship with food is so different now. I used to use it to relax at night. Like, my kids are in bed now I can finally eat. Now I don't care about it, think about it, unless I'm trying to meet Protein goals for working out. I don't even go out to dinner or lunch very often. I prefer to meet friends and walk. I still feel overwhelmed and sometimes sickened with the portion sizes at restaurants. Sometimes I have to leave the family dinner table.... I have more thoughts but I'll save them for tomorrow. I'm pretty tired tonight. Thanks for responding.

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I saw no need to memorialize or indulge enough to last a lifetime before my surgery. I had recognized my overeating as my mortal enemy and saw no need to party in honor of him. In hindsight I could have had a food funeral. I would have loaded up an old boat with donuts, chips, Pork rinds, velveeta, Cookies, cakes, and candy...poured the contents of the fat fryer on it...set it on fire...shoved it out into the lake...played Bjork music.....Viking funeral... :rolleyes:

Let's do it anyway!!!

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Once I got approved, I had a whole month of food funeraling. It was part of my process. Once I was done, I was so sick of it that it really helped me get into the mental space of doing surgery. Subsequently, I think once I had surgery, I was able to stick to everything without cheats or licking doritos and crazy stuff like that.

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without cheats or licking doritos and crazy stuff like that.

I really did LOL! I remember the confessions of liking Doritos.

Occasionally, I have a moment of "one more bite" and then "no you don't really want that" and the behavior overrides the "you don't want it". I put it in my mouth and confirm, nope. Don't want it. Spit it out. It's strange. Only happened a couple-three times but odd to observe. I know presleeve the behavior would have overridden the thought.

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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