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What a great post , and thanks for the words of wisdom and encouragement from people and of course for starting this thread , as I was thinking I wanted to eat that whol container of Cookies or a soda would be nice just to take the edge of the stress off , then again I thought to my self go back and look at the pics of when I began , till now and how uncomfortable I was , well things are going to happen in life that I can not change , and so I will keep on my journey to the things I can change and one of them is the way I think or have ate before so I am a changing , as will the change of time.

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i am bipolar. one of my issues is not being able to handle stress. i used to be a nurse, i loved a busy busy night at the hospital. the more chaotic the better, but not now. all of us can relate to having stressful lives. i can list my top 5 in seconds. and now our beloved german shepherd tore his acl tendon. my husband just got back to work after a work related injury needing back surgery. i just had gallbladder surgery monday. my mother died nov. 12 2013. and that is just the last few months. and i really really wanted to eat a complete mcdonalds on my way home from the hospital monday night. but i didn't. i really really wanted a cigarette sunday afternoon. drove me nuts. but i didn't. and i cry instead of eating. i talk to ppl instead of eating. i fix something to drink or eat that is good for me, instead of eating what i really wanted. we all made a choice when we admitted that we had no control over food and got wls. say it over and over again. i have no control when it comes to food emotionally but intelligently i can choose food good for me. i wholly believe my stress level will go down as my wt. goes down. why? i will be physically more active and able to do more things physically to keep me busy which will help me deal with stress. come spring time I am going fishing. instead of watching tv. yeah can't wait. the fish will comeserate with me.

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I have to believe that all of us have talent that is being wasted. If not writing, painting, crocheting, volunteering at a local pet shelter, or what ever you think you can do. What a nice thing to do would be volunteer at the humane society as a dog walker. You are getting your stress out with the walking and making some puppy happy to be out of their kennel. I am thinking about starting my own tax preparation service. With all the soft ware out there and I have been doing taxes for people for 30 years. It can really pay well if you have enough people to use you to do taxes. Find your talent and use it to channel your stress to do something for the good of humanity. I have also thought about going back in to teaching child birth classes. Those were fun times in my life. You have to do something that will make you feel useful and appreciated.

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For me it's less about stress eating, as when I am stressed I don't want to eat anything. My band cinches and I couldn't eat anything even if I tried.

My problem is the emotional salve that food used to bring me. My life is chaotic almost all the time, I have healthy boundaries to keep the chaos in check though they don't always stop the invaders :) I am always on the go helping this one and that one. I take in the stray's and rescue animals and do all that fun stuff. It's the disconnection that I am seeking...and that alone time. It's hard to come by, sometimes I have to hide the bathroom to read, and there is always someone banging on the door.

I used to hide away and eat myself into feeling better. Since being banded I haven't felt the need to do that but once, and I learned that lesson fast enough that this will no longer work for me.

So, now when I need to disconnect I still will lock myself away in my bedroom or my office. Sometimes I'll put on a favorite movie and watch that till I'm laughing, or I'll meditate and put on some relaxing music. When the frustration levels are equal to the need to disconnect from the world (and this where I would be driven to want to sugar and Snacks in the past) I'll head to my office where I keep all our exercise equipment and blast some tunes and do a longer work out. When the weather is nice I like to disappear to the ecology site near my house and walk the track a few times or to the beach even if it's a bit cold and walk till my spirit feels lighter. There is nothing like the vastness of the ocean to show me how small my issues really are in comparison.

If I am stuck at work, and I'm having a rough day I will put some tunes on my computer sometimes soothing sometimes a bit more moving and yeah I'll sing and thank goodness my co-workers don't mind much :) I won't be on the Voice or American Idol in this life time :)

I just can't wait till the weather here breaks....I think we are all getting cabin fever! There really is nothing like fresh air and warm breezes to make me feel great!

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Everyone thinks its warm in Florida lol we have been the 30's and 40's for a while now. The most I am waiting for is to take the cover off the pool and get in it and swim for at least an hour every day. We are getting it heated so we can enjoy it more. I love hot weather. I can't wait to start planting out in my back yard. The hole side yard we are making into a garden. Fresh veggies and I am buying some fruit trees. I have a cherry tree already that is about 3 feet high I just had to wait until we bought our house to plant it. So some gardening and making my back yard my safe haven is my goal for this year. Whom ever had this house etched out some nice flower beds with brick trim. I want to fill it with beauty. So it will be my space and no one else's. Well I might let my husband go swimming now and then lol

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Everyone thinks its warm in Florida lol we have been the 30's and 40's for a while now. The most I am waiting for is to take the cover off the pool and get in it and swim for at least an hour every day. We are getting it heated so we can enjoy it more. I love hot weather. I can't wait to start planting out in my back yard. The hole side yard we are making into a garden. Fresh veggies and I am buying some fruit trees. I have a cherry tree already that is about 3 feet high I just had to wait until we bought our house to plant it. So some gardening and making my back yard my safe haven is my goal for this year. Whom ever had this house etched out some nice flower beds with brick trim. I want to fill it with beauty. So it will be my space and no one else's. Well I might let my husband go swimming now and then lol

Sounds like some great plans! I think everywhere has been colder then normal this winter. I have to say though I would take those 30's and 40's over some of the really cold days we have had here of 6 and 9 and defiantly over all the ice and snow we have been having. I really have cabin fever. I'm always inside something somewhere and the cold weather hurts to breathe sometimes.

I was having a vision of your backyard oasis as I was reading your post, I can't wait for some lovely warm days where things want to grow!! I might even plant something and get my hands dirty!

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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