I have been a pretty frequent poster here since last March, except for the past few weeks. Almost 3 weeks ago, my husband was killed in a tragic fire at his brother's house. I am still reeling from the shock & trying desperately to find my way through this awful new reality into which I have been thrown. I miss him so much, at times I almost can't catch my breath. I am incredibly fortunate to have a strong & loving support network of amazing friends & family. Eventually, I will be OK. But at the moment, I am struggling to eat enough, I started smoking again, and I am having a drink each night to help me sleep. At some point, with the help of the many wonderful people who love me, I will find my way back to a healthy and happy path. I believe that in my head, even if I can't yet feel it in my heart. I am thankful that my improved physical condition will help me be better prepared to take care of myself now than I would have been six months ago.

But here's the thing I want to say to you. Sometimes, life is going to suck. Surgery is not a magic cure-all for the problems we deal with. Life is going to throw us curve balls & challenging situations. Sometimes we can prepare ourselves for those challenges, but sometimes there is simply nothing that will prepare us to face what we must. So, when life rises up & punches you in the face, remember these guidelines:

Spend more of your time focusing on your achievements rather than your shortcomings.

Devote more energy to expressing your love to others rather than tallying up the things that piss you off.

Understand that we are all far more than a number on a scale. If you are waiting to try new things until you lose weight, STOP WAITING. Your life is happening now, here, today....don't let it pass you by because of fear, insecurity, or doubt.

If you pray, send me a prayer. If you don't pray, then send me good vibes & healing thoughts. I appreciate all the good & supportive thoughts I can get right now.

I wish I could do or say something more than I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sending you all my wishes for peace, strength, and comfort.

How are you doing today? You are in my thoughts and prayers!

prayers and good vibes coming your way... to lose someone you love is tragic....to lose them so suddenly, like that, must be unbearable... it sounds like you are working thru it well...

(((HUGS)))

Thank you for taking the time to share this in spite of your tremendous loss. I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Having lost my first husband to a sudden illness, I know how devasting it can be. Please take care of yourself.

((HUGS))

My husband of almost 20 yrs died (at 46) 6 yrs ago unexpectedly. I know the emptiness ur feeling right now.

Please know that I am thinking of u right now as ur going thru the motions of "being a widow". It truly sucks. It's good that u have a handle on the emotional part of eating, I gained 70 lbs the 2 yrs following my husbands death.

U look young in ur pic. I was 40 when widowed and found http://www.ywbb.org/forums/ubbthreads.php very helpful.

I wish u the very best...

I am deeply sorry for your loss. Prayers sent your way. Thank you for the encouraging words you passed along to us. May The Lord give you strength.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Awful and tragic. Such a shock. Sorrow. ((((((((Hug))))))) I send you and yours warm thoughts for calm and peaceful hearts in a difficult time. I am so sorry.

Southern. I can't imagine what you are going through neither do I know what to say. All I can do is pray and pray hard for you. Thank you for the reminder to love our love ones so much while they are here with us and not everything is about this sleeve.

Come here to vent. Whenever you need to. We are here.

((HUGS))

My husband of almost 20 yrs died (at 46) 6 yrs ago unexpectedly. I know the emptiness ur feeling right now.

Please know that I am thinking of u right now as ur going thru the motions of "being a widow". It truly sucks. It's good that u have a handle on the emotional part of eating, I gained 70 lbs the 2 yrs following my husbands death.

U look young in ur pic. I was 40 when widowed and found http://www.ywbb.org/forums/ubbthreads.php very helpful.

I wish u the very best...

Thank you so much for the website suggestion. I had not heard of it, so I will definitely check it out. I hate the word "widow". I don't even know what that's supposed to be or feel like. It's an awful thing to have to come to terms with, so maybe engaging with other women who are facing the same thing will help. Engaging with everybody here for several months before my surgery was definitely helpful to me, so it stands to reason that finding online support for this will be helpful, too. And thank you for saying I look young. I'll be 50 in May, so that made me feel pretty good.

Praying for you and your family.

So very sorry for your loss! I can't even imagine to know what you're going through. Sending healing energy and prayers your way.

Sorry for your loss. As I always pray on - if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it.

i am so sorry to hear about your loss... i will pray for you... i haven't been on hear in a long time and i am so surprised to hear this devastating news... I hope God will heal your heart.