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Is this a good idea?

vincereautmori

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vincereautmori    323

vincereautmori
Posted

I have my first meeting with surgeon next week, is it a good idea to bring my wife too? I feel she's going to be dealing with my moods as I make changes, and I'll be relying on her spport during the callenges. Did anyone else include their spouse?

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newat52    1,613

newat52
Posted

Yes! Absolutely! My hubby went with me and learned so much. He has been my rock and biggest cheerleader. A supportive spouse is a gift. Cherish it!

Best of luck to you!

vincereautmori, starfish n coffee, ☠carolinagirl☠ and 1 other reacted to this

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bamagurl    98

bamagurl
Posted

Absolutely! Mine was with me at every step of the way! Encourage them to write any questions in a notebook so they remember when you get in the appointment. I always find myself getting nervous talking with the doctor and forget the important questions that are on my mind. Also include your spouse in things like support group meetings as well as your doctors appointments, even small things like measurements, photos, meal planning. They are going to be your own private support network a fingertip away. Good luck and keep coming to this site! Its wonderful!

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Leepers    1,195

Leepers
Posted

I took my hubby to a couple of things. I say do it! It's great to have support.

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granniero    36

granniero
Posted

To me, it's a great idea. My husband went w/me to the pre-op appointment, met the dr, asked questions and has been a great support. Always helps to have your spouse on your cheering team !

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vicbib    8

vicbib
Posted

Definitely! In order for your spouse to be your strongest supporter, he or she must be well informed and comfortable with your journey. My husband had several questions for the Dr. I am 7 weeks post - op, feeling great! He encourages me daily!!

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terrydumont46    1,954

terrydumont46
Posted

my husband was very much involved at first. he learned about all 3 surgeries so together we decided on which surgery. he helped keep me on track pre surgery since it took over 2 years to complete all my doctor rounds. trouble seems to follow me. he never found out how much i weighed though. i don't want him to know. i still don't even though he isnt a dumb man so he can guess it. but because he knows the lengths i will go to to stop him from knowing we don't talk about wt. loss. but he does help me when i am eating. like telling me to slow down, or smaller bites etc. so having your spouse educated is a excellent idea. good luck

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Jim1967    3,569

Jim1967
Posted

My Wife was beside me every step of the way when I started the process with the informational seminar back in September of 2011. She joined the banded ranks herself in September 2013. Support is so big in this process and it really does begin at home.

Good Luck!

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Lbktxgal    25

Lbktxgal
Posted

My husband went with me to seminar and office visits. He is my #1 supporter.

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rosettag    122

rosettag
Posted

I did it all on my own. I felt my husband's disapproval of my being obese even if he never told me anything about that. I told him a few weeks before my surgery. He is skinned, has never had weight problems, and is easily satiated with small quantities of food. I often think he has a band..around his brain.

But if your wife is supportive and you feel better if you can share your decision with her, why not? Travelling alone (I compare my banded life to a long journey) can be a bit hard and a bit sad.

I see you have a Latin nickname..I studied Latin for 8 years...

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vincereautmori    323

vincereautmori
Posted

I did it all on my own. I felt my husband's disapproval of my being obese even if he never told me anything about that. I told him a few weeks before my surgery. He is skinned, has never had weight problems, and is easily satiated with small quantities of food. I often think he has a band..around his brain.

But if your wife is supportive and you feel better if you can share your decision with her, why not? Travelling alone (I compare my banded life to a long journey) can be a bit hard and a bit sad.

I see you have a Latin nickname..I studied Latin for 8 years...

It's supposed to mean (loosley translated) "Conquer or die" did I get it right?

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rosettag    122

rosettag
Posted

I

I see you have a Latin nickname..I studied Latin for 8 years...

It's supposed to mean (loosley translated) "Conquer or die" did I get it right?

Right!!!!

"vincere" means " to win".

I'm sure you 'll win

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steph2012    252

steph2012
Posted

Absolutely! This procedure & the journey ahead is going to be a big part of your life & his life by default. I included my hubby right from the start. My lapband has affected both our lives in ways that we would never have expected. Because of it, we BOTH are different people & have grown (and shrunk, LOL) together.

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Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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