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Afraid to tell the kids



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My girls are 19 and 17. When I mentioned a while back that I was thinking about having bariatric surgery, they had a very negative response. One said, "why don't you just eat less and exercise more" and the other said "but you're not THAT fat". I'm about 2-3 months pre-op now and I'm thinking I should probably tell them pretty soon. I just don't want to deal with the negativity again. Has anyone else experienced anything similar?

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Your an adult and I know it sounds odd but they are adults also at 17 and 19. You had to do what is best for you and they will know that when they see you skinny!!!! Its your life and you have to live

Chris

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I was very nervous about telling my grown daughters, but they have seen my struggles and were surprisingly supportive considering they don't have any problems with weight. They also did not think I was heavy enough, though I am morbidly obese.

You may want to go through some of your struggles at trying to lose weight with your daughters so they can share your journey and see what led you to this decision. I would also tell them that people who reach a certain weight are dismally unlikely to be able to lose weight by diet and exercise and keep it off. This is a much more effective method.

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While they are good intentions on your children's side..They don't know what you really feel or have been through in life to get you to this decision.

That was nice of the one to say that your not fat enough but really...What does she know about what is going on under your skin?...

You have your reasons for choosing to do this...If they love you which I think they do they will support your choices like you have supported theirs..

Don't let anyone stop you from fixing your mind and getting yourself healthier and letting the real person you are out...You have a lot of life yet to live....Your life your choices...

Go get em!!!!!!!!!

Edited by RJ'S/beginning

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Point out the potential health hazards you are currently facing. My children were actually the ones that convinced me, I had mini stroke in 2007 and then two more in 2012. They did an intervention and brought together all the grandchildren and had them rehearse, "we love you YaYa and want you around to see our children!"

Once your family realize that you are doing it for health and not simply looks, they hopefully should be more supportive.

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I told my 11 year old Son, (My daughter is 4 so whats the point) and he was so amazing!! He looked puzzled at first and then said, "Mom your not even obese your just chubby." I said, "well according to doctors I am obese" he goes, "Doctors are sadists who are in business to watch people suffer" I DIED laughing. He is so brilliant it makes me beam with pride. I told him I will be skinnier and eat like a normal person. He said, "so your stomach will be the size of mine! Cool!" LOVE HIM!

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I havemt told my father yet. I have been the black sheep for so long that anything I say to him is just.. speaking to a wall. Really whats the point?? Am I wrong?

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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